


Bent Will.  1-36/36.

by punky_96



Category: The Devil Wears Prada (2006)
Genre: F/F, Time Loop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-20 23:52:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 36
Words: 50,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14272275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punky_96/pseuds/punky_96
Summary: Re-Post from LJ.  It does not earn it's rating for a long time.AU. Self-destruct sequence initiated—this starts at the end or does it? Yeah. I’m really gonna be that obtuse with my summary this time. Feel free to complain in the comments.Character Notes: the main pairing will not ultimately be dead; however, I’m not really sure about anyone elseI'm not really sure how many folks read this on LJ, so I'm gonna leave it all vague, like I did the first time around.





	1. Initiating Self Destruct Sequence

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jah728](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jah728/gifts).



> Beta: jah728. I cannot tell you how much Jah has meant to me and to my writing in the last couple of years. She has gone on every fic journey my little brain has wanted to ask about—at least so far. And I am better for her presence and careful eye.  
> .
> 
> Author’s Notes: I always have these crazy long A/N and then trim them. Basically, my brain is a blender of everything around me. Right now what is shining out? Nine Months by Kudara, which is B/7 from ST:VOY. One Step Left by Cysteine, which is HG/NB from HP. And The Black Prophecy by Beforeyouspeak, which is HG/BB from HP. My brain swirled various themes from those and probably other things and here you are...

_**Bent Will. Part 1/?**_  
  
_Initiating self destruct sequence._  
  
Thirty. Twenty-nine…  
  
The lights continued flashing, though the self-destruct automatically took the red source away. It was a signal everyone in the ship understood meant that the end had been initiated. Of course, they already knew the situation was dire. The alien communication hijacking the audio system before shorts were even fired had been clear. Most would scramble for escape pods. Some would end a bloody fight vowing to take the enemy combatant with them, since it was already too late to save themselves.  
  
Time stilled, though the captain heard the countdown in her head. As she staggered onto the deck, she wondered if ghosts could haunt open space. She would become a curse to those who dared attack, board, and ultimately destroy her ship and its crew.  
  
_Twenty. Nineteen…_  
  
“Why are you still here?” The captain shouted at the pilot as she stumbled forward. The ship rocked underneath her feet, so she flung herself forward to catch against a chair before she fell. The obstinate brunette didn’t respond to the shout. Instead she just kept her hands on the controls as she defied her captain once again. The older woman wondered if it was just meant to be—her last act in this life would be slapping the defiant girl who had connived her way onto the ship.  
  
Then, as the Interface continued to countdown, the younger woman turned those deep brown eyes to look up at her captain. Anger flashed through the swirls of brown like a reddened flame and the captain nodded once. ‘There.’ The silver haired captain sighed as if time had no meaning inside the ticking seconds. ‘That’s the spark I saw.’ As she considered this, the captain also wondered where that pluck had gone. ‘Why did she only have that fire when I wanted to airlock her, or now before we die?’  
  
_Ten. Nine…_  
  
“You stupid, girl.” The older woman growled as she approached the pilot. Letting instinct guide her in the final seconds of her life, the captain lifted her arm back and up so she could put her full force into the swing. Death would be her punishment, but she would have the fleeting sense of victory over that young hellion of a woman if only for the one moment in time.  
  
Lifting her hands from the console, the brunette pointed up at the view screen.  
  
In the flickering of the lights that was eerily timed to the beating of her heart and the last of their seconds, the captain saw what the girl had done—aimed the ship right for the power source on the home world.  
  
The captain’s fingers curled into a fist and her arm flopped impotently down by her side. She tried to calculate the seconds left, the distance to the destination, and the velocity of their travel. None of which she had any control over as she fought her way back to the bridge and sealed the fate of her ship.  
  
_Two. One._  
  
  
  


 

 

 

 

 

Next...


	2. Might Not Matter

_**Bent Will. Part 2/?**_  
  
It might not matter to anyone. In fact it might not matter at all. The red lights of the alert had gone pale to signal our imminent death. The crew has trained for this and practiced for it until the nightmare of the theory became the day running reality. This is the end.  
  
Making hurried calculations, the young brunette pilot adjusted the engines to pour everything they had into this last swan dive.  
  
Was that hyperbole—a last swan dive?  
  
The calm voice of the Interface counted down the self-destruct, while the brunette felt her heart beating faster than the numbers being called out. As her fingers flew over the controls, she wondered if she would expire in her seat like a rabbit before the explosion could take her into its heart.  
  
She heard the door and ignored the commotion. Only the captain could get in with the wires she pulled out of the access panel at the entrance to the bridge. An enemy trying to get in would only be wasting their time. Either the self-destruct or her actions would end them before breaking through that door would make a difference. She knew she wouldn’t be shot too early to end her suffering. Instead she would watch as the course she selected rammed the fiery carcass of their ship into the heart of the combatant home world.  
  
There was no ‘us’ left. Eject in a pod? To be taken prisoner, used, manipulated, tortured, or left for dead anyway?  
  
If she was already dead and there was no ‘us’ to save, no good ship, then there should be no ‘them’ to oppose.  
  
Take ‘them’ out as ‘us’ blazed in glory. She nodded to herself as she re-did the calculations. She would concede defeat. However, she would make sure that the victors wouldn’t be holding a party after their Pyrrhic victory.  
  
With the engines burning as fast as the countdown, the ship hurtled toward the center of the other civilization. The clear voice of the Interface counted down though the universe seemed to ignore it. The brunette felt her captain’s presence and glanced up. Without comment she refocused on her self-selected task. The captain had never wanted her here. The young brunette should not have been on this ship. With the ignorance and arrogance of youth, she insisted. The young upstart knew better than the seasoned captain. She made her case and won. Now the forlorn brunette could feel the older woman’s desperate rage at the world focusing down on her. She was the only thing left for her to hate and so the younger woman let it wash over her.  
  
The captain was supposed to go down with her ship. The brunette couldn’t say she was a ‘good’ captain, but a journey for her and you could pick your promotion and quadrant. That was, if you survived. The younger woman didn’t look up. She just monitored the engines, the trajectory, and evaded the big stuff as much as she could.  
  
There was nothing for it now—no more engine to push, no more time to rush through, and nothing to say.  
  
The brunette eased back and pointed to the view screen. Driven by the need to know if the captain even processed what she had been doing, the pilot looked up at the older woman. The silver haired woman seemed to lose her rage as she gazed at the view screen and the images of their path toward certain destruction. Her body lost much of its tension and her arm slipped down to her side. The older woman relaxed her fingers from the cocoon of her fist. Her face was a mixture of desperation, awe, and acceptance.  
  
There was a rumbling. The light somehow was sucked away to darkness and made too light by the same hand. Intense pain ripped through them. Then there was nothing.

 

 

 

Next....


	3. Surface of Consciousness

_**Bent Will. Part 3/?**_  
  
Sucking in a tortured lungful of air, the white haired woman broke the surface of consciousness like a drowning person making it back to safety. The next breaths trembled and stuttered like an experimental engine deciding whether or not it would catch the intended spark and hum to life. Rolling to the side, the broken woman curled into herself barely aware there was a world around her. Silent tears leaked from her eyes and slid down her face as she inhaled and exhaled clinging to life with the firm grip of her subconscious.  
  
Fingers grazing her cheek as they settled startled the brunette into wakefulness. The warm exhale from another’s lips to her own caused her to flinch back and flutter open her eyelids. Greeted only by confusing blurs, the younger woman leaned back to focus while drawing her body’s pains into even sharper relief. ‘Miranda?’ The name was her only thought before losing consciousness once more—the brunette only knew a sense of deep disquiet. The formidable captain could not have tears running down her face. Pain came in like a sucker punch after that and recognition was the only thing to flicker in her eyes before it all faded to blissful black. ‘We are dead.’  
  
  


 

 

Next.......  ;)

 

 


	4. Seems Calm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's see what the next couple of chapters bring, hmmm? :)

_**Bent Will. Part 4/?**_  
  
 _Only when the strongest loves the weak_  
Will you find the end you seek  
  
To undo what has been done  
You will have to overcome  
  
Only when you can admit  
Will all the pieces finally fit  
  
*** *** ***  
  
Shaking her head as she pushed herself up, Andrea shifted into awareness incrementally. She didn’t realize she had drooled until the back of her hand was already smearing the damp on the floor. As that fact settled in, the brunette opened her eyes. She was in the captain’s quarters, on the floor, and the silver haired warrior herself was staring up at her through blue eyes filled with storm. “Miran—” She cut herself off, wondering how to even begin. The tear streaks still seemed to cross the sharp angles of the older woman’s face. It shattered the brunette’s heart to recognize that had not been imaginary. Andrea crab walked away from the other woman still prostrate on the floor. It would only be seconds before the captain sprang from the surface and came at her like a banshee. It didn’t matter that she didn’t know how/why/when she had come in here or what she had been doing. The captain could not have been part of whatever prank was being played on her.  
  
“Andr—” Pain colored the older woman’s features and she curled into a fetal position.  
  
Stopped in her tracks, Andrea’s eyes widened to the point of pain.  
  
In between short panting breaths, Miranda ground out, “Where are we?”  
  
Andrea looked around taking in the rest of the area for the first time. “Your quarters. At least I think they are your quarters.” Swallowing her nervousness and mounting terror, the brunette explained in a breezy ‘everything is calm’ tone that easily gave away the fingers of panic trying to push for control. “They are too big and luxurious to be anyone else’s quarters.” Andrea looked around and noted the hanging on the wall. “There’s the scroll from our last recreational stop that you showed the senior staff.”  
  
Her brain muddled from the pain and conflicting memories and details, Miranda forced herself to open her eyes and look around as much as she was able to before the pain overwhelmed her again. “Status?” She wheezed out before she flinched and curled in on herself.  
  
“You don’t have a clock in here.” Andrea bit her bottom lip. She knew that wasn’t the answer that the captain would be looking for, yet checking the time seemed the most basic thing they should start with. “Everything seems calm, almost normal.” She glanced at the blue eyes that had returned to her and shrugged. “I didn’t say it was normal, just that it appears to be: no alert klaxon, no stomping feet out in the corridor, no sounds of phaser fire, and no rocking ship.”

 

 

next...


	5. Friendly as Ever

_**Bent Will. Part 5/?**_  
  
Their breathing measured the silence in the absence of all other signs of life on the ship. It was unnerving to the captain who had toured the shell of the ship while she was still in dry dock construction. Pressing her palm flat against the rough carpet of her quarters, she willed the ship to show her any sign of life—even just the low vibration of the life support features below her skin. Fresh tears welled up when there was no return greeting from her beloved craft. “Why are you here?” Her voice scratched her throat on the way out, revealing more of her vulnerability than she would have liked. The punk might be the best pilot, but that didn’t mean she had to like her. She was ambitious and too full of herself to see the bigger picture around her. A ship was not about who sailed her.  
  
Glancing around, Andrea recognized the barb for the distancing tactic that it was. Her captain was injured. She knew from the way her muscles and bones were screaming at her how bad off she was and from the tear tracks, broken voice, and inability to move beyond the fetal position—well, she knew the captain was in worse condition. “Must be fine.” She rolled her eyes and muttered, “ friendly as ever,” under her breath.  
  
Forcing one eye open, Miranda fixed it on her least likely companion. Whatever she said came out in a groan that held equal notes of disgust and pain.  
  
Andrea ignored her. She had no way to help and even had she wanted to console the other woman with a pat on the back, she wouldn’t have been allowed to anyway. Spotting the Energy Supply Bay further along the wall she was propped up against, the brunette tried to stand and then rested again. “Interface—what is the date and time?”  
  
A familiar though not quite usual chirp sounded. Then the Interface’s voice calmly intoned. “It is 1424 hours on date 68923.2.”  
  
Blinking her eyes at that, Andrea maneuvered herself up and then leaned against the wall. Keying in the code for the item she wanted, she breathed deeply against mounting fear and the protestations of her body. “I think me being in your quarters is the least of your worries, Captain.” Andrea reached for the devices that appeared in the Energy Supply Bay and then slithered back down the wall. “We might be in your quarters, but your quarters are not where you left them.” No response came from the Captain, so Andrea focused on her conjured devices wondering if they would work as expected. She couldn’t help worrying that they would be like the Interface, which was not quite as it should have been.  
  
Nausea had begun to push away the blackness on the edges of her consciousness, yet the Captain longed for the peace it would give her if she just gave in. It wouldn’t matter that the Interface’s voice was of another woman, or that the response chime was from another ship, or that the time was just before the fight had begun. In the darkness that called to her she wouldn’t have to feel pain, tolerate the irritating pilot, or try to sort out what it could mean. “You are my biggest problem.” She pushed herself up just enough so that her words weren’t wasted down into the flooring.  
  
‘Bitch,’ Andrea thought as she ran one device over her hand and checked the results before switching to the other device. ‘The diagnosis matched how it felt.’ She shrugged as she hoped the healing part would also work. Thrilled when she could flex her hand without further issue, Andrea held the diagnostic tool over the bump on her head and began to work through her body’s catalog of pains. Everything else didn’t seem to make sense or match any reality she could think of, but the diagnostic readout and performance continued to ring true. Laughing as she hovered the treatment wand over her contusions and bruises, she wondered if she were really required to help the captain. Nothing she normally would have taken for granted seemed true anymore—except for the woman’s demeanor and the two tools that the Energy Supply Bay had given her. “If I’m your biggest problem, then how about you tell me what will happen when I try to open this door or tell the Interface to transport you somewhere.” Treating her right arm and then her left, Andrea slowly diagnosed her larger physical ailments and treated the smaller ones. “Maybe I could space you and put you out of your misery.” She rolled her eyes at the one-eyed glare the clearly broken captain was giving her from across the room.  
  
Sighing, Miranda felt fresh tears well in her eyes as she felt the drool that had started to slide from her mouth. She was in hell. She wasn’t sure how she got there from deep space, but she knew it had to be hell. She was in her own personal slice of heaven—her quarters aboard the ship she’d wanted her whole life and that she helped to create from start to finish. Yet she was stuck with this woman who wouldn’t shut up and injuries enough to incapacitate, but not end the misery. She wondered if the wretched woman would share the healing or if it was to be like the water for Sisyphus—always out of reach.  
  
Her journey toward being vertical was less of a trial than before and Andrea leaned against the wall for a few breaths as she tried to decide her next steps. She’d have to help the captain. Clearly they were in a sticky situation and she’d need all the help she could get. The level of calm and the utter detail of the deception were impressive, however it left her all the more concerned about who was on the outside of this space. There was no way she’d be trying the door or talking further with Interface by herself. Keying in the commands, she smiled as she took one phaser and tucked it into her belt, before slipping the other one in her leg pocket. Belatedly remembering her original devices, she gingerly crouched down and scooped them up. “I can diagnose and treat you if you want. Unless you’d rather wallow in pain, but, frankly, I expected better than this from you.”  
  
Pain suspended for precious seconds, Miranda fixed an evil eye on her unwanted companion. Knowing she was in no condition for verbal sparring, the captain huffed and moved her hand in a hurry up gesture. “You know everything anyway.”  
  
Feeling a bit like the child who suddenly realized the cute and cuddly wild animal they were holding had sharp teeth and a bad attitude, Andrea settled on the ground beside the captain. She made sure to be close enough to the captain, while keeping as much distance as she could. It didn’t bode well for the Captain who always won and always got the glory and always had to be in charge didn’t even care enough to heal herself. “I’m going to start with your head and just narrate as I go.”  
  


 

 

 

nexty next...


	6. Unable to Comply

_**Bent Will. Part 6/?**_  
  
As her body began to mend under the dubious care of Pilot Sachs, the captain realized that any strange situation she had been in before could not have prepared her for this mystery. The chatter of the younger woman as she slowly used each device over sections of her body had allowed her to accept that the support was genuine. When she had to roll over, she noted that a phaser sat on the ground near them and another was tucked in the front of the brunette’s trousers. Neither of them had been in any kind of condition to really explore or to seek answers, so taking the time to heal both of them as much as possible truly was the prudent decision. ‘Nice to know she’s capable of them.’ The captain huffed to herself. It still wasn’t right that this would be the only person available to help her.  
  
“I’ve done everything that I can with just these.” Andrea held up the diagnostic and healing implements. “Wait.” She practically shouted as she pressed her captain’s shoulder back toward the floor. “I couldn’t heal everything. The severe injuries were beyond what I have here.” The concern in her deep brown eyes caused the captain to blink her stormy blue eyes at her slowly. “We’ll have to see what the situation is before…” Her words trailed off and she looked away from the captain even though there really wasn’t anything to look at. “Well, if we can get you to the Medical Bay, then you’ll be fine.” She waved a hand in the air and then let it slap down on her thigh. “I can probably rig a bigger system here if the Energy Bay continues to work true.”  
  
Thinking of the doctor, rebooted Miranda’s brain as she began to think about the others on the ship and her responsibilities. “I can’t just lay here.” She tried to get up, but the pain spiked in her abdomen. She felt a whooshing liquid shift inside that sent her sprawling back to the floor hard. Her head hurt again and she wanted to throw up. Bodies should not feel that way. Pain made sense—something was broken or torn or both and it meant you were still able to feel it. “Interface, transport the doctor to my quarters. Medical emergency.”  
  
Andrea bit her lip and shifted down off her knees to sit next to the captain. She ran the diagnostic tool over the stubborn silver haired woman’s torso and frowned at the results.  
  
“Unable to comply.” The Interface that was not their Interface replied in clear tones.  
  
Willing the nausea to fall victim to the creeping wave of panic, the Captain asked, “Interface, in what way can you not comply with the request to transport the Doctor here?”  
  
After a moment longer than the Interface should take, the calm tones returned. “The transporter is off line.”  
  
Miranda looked toward Andrea uncertain of what to ask now and if she wanted to know the answer. She remembered that Andrea had replicated phasers. Now, as the worries began to multiply, she wondered if Andrea should have conjured other weapons as well.  
  
“Interface, is the Doctor on board?” Andrea wondered if the artificial intelligence had been blocked by the initial portion of the request and ignored the rest as irrelevant.  
  
“He is not.” The words were delivered in the same calm voice of the new Interface, but now the voice sent a shiver through both women.  
  
“Interface, are members of the crew on board?” When the reply came back in the affirmative, Andrea realized her mistake in phrasing. She re-directed with, “How many members of the crew are on board?”  
  
This time the pause before the answer seemed interminable. “Two members of crew are on board.”  
  
Struggling to her side, Miranda croaked out the next question, “Interface, what is the status of the ship?”  
  
“Unable to answer.” The reply didn’t surprise as much as it confirmed the sense of dread that had been slowly building in them from the moment they regained consciousness. Andrea clarified the question with another. Yet the foreign Interface responded in a way that sparked further concern. “Incomprehensible data concerning the ship’s status.”  
  
Hitting the floor with her fist, Miranda felt the truth, more than she had words for a theory. “Interface, what is the date and time?”  
  
The answer was immediate and chilling. “It is 1424 hours on date 68923.2.”

 

 

 

and pause for now...  tee hee ;)


	7. Fine Time to Flatline

 

_**Bent Will. Part 7/?**_  
  
Biting her bottom lip so that she did not ask the Interface to repeat the information, Andrea tried to force the universe back into comprehensible input. Catching those key words in her mind, she felt a tear slip down her cheek—in her mind she had started to process like the computerized intelligence of the Interface. She knew enough psychology that she had already started to mentally distance herself from the jagged edges of their apparent reality, because added together, the details did not paint a picture that she wanted to even contemplate. She remembered gaining consciousness at some point and happily drifting back into the darkness and now she knew why.  
  
The firefight with the Phyrochez had begun at 1424 hours on 68923.2.  
  
She hadn’t thought much about the afterlife, yet she knew that she would never had dreamed up a place for her afterlife that included a broken captain on the floor of her quarters with herself only mildly functioning. She was certain that if she had ever dreamed up an afterlife that it would have been much more pleasant—no injuries, perhaps on the pleasure planet created just outside the inner ring of her own solar system, and with someone who she didn’t have a hate/dislike/ridicule interaction with.  
  
“Fine time to flat line, Sachs.” The voice of the captain was gravelly and seductive.  
  
Andrea shook her head to return to proper awareness—first that had been an insult and second the woman wasn’t flirting, she was critically injured. “Flat line? Really, that’s the insult you go for when we’re in some sort of hell?”  
  
Rolling her eyes, Miranda shook her head and groaned when she tried to shift her body. “We are not dead, Sachs. There would not be this much pain.” Even though it hurt to talk, Miranda forced herself to inhale and exhale and get the words out. “Next steps, Sachs. Can you get what you need to heal me from the Energy Bay? If not, you’ll need to head to Medical.”  
  
Andrea blinked at the prone woman trying not to show the pain she was still in. She wanted to be mad at her, accuse her of being a bitch. However, except for a cutting remark to focus her attention on the grave situation they were in, the Captain was right. Either she needed to continue to heal the captain or she needed to see what was out there and get help. Standing quicker than her body was prepared for, Andrea held her arms out to the sides for balance. “I’ll see what the Energy Bay can do.” Andrea hoped she didn’t have to open the quarter’s entrance—there was no telling what was on the outside.  
  
Glad she had been so competitive in training, Andrea used all of the creative work-arounds that she could come up with in order to create better medical devices. The energy bay had been too small to create the larger devices that she knew they would normally use in the Medical Bay. The Energy Bay had been unable to provide the more advanced and still portable medical tools. Instead of letting frustration derail her problem-solving abilities, she thought of the emergency crash course competition she had run with her old training friends. Nate had been a bit of a magician with combining power supplies and features from a variety of equipment to help them when they had been stranded.  
  
“What the hell is that?” Miranda’s tone would have been much sharper were it not for the fatigue setting in.  
  
Shaking her head and holding the brace where her captain could see it, Andrea frowned. “The Energy Bay has been tampered with and I cannot directly get what I need to heal you.” When Miranda narrowed her eyes at her, the brunette shook the brace and continued on. “This brace will ensure that you cannot move your torso and undo whatever progress I make.” She lay the scaffolding on the floor behind the older woman. “You’ll need to roll back to lay on the brace.” She made sure to keep her eyes on Miranda’s blue ones and a steady hand on her shoulder so that she didn’t move too soon. “I’ll guide you and then tuck your arm through the brace to put the top piece in place on your chest.”  
  
Miranda watched Andrea with wary blue eyes the entire time as she forced her body to follow her directions. She had to stretch her legs out and then lean back so that she was flat again. The pain shifted, but then lessened in this position to her great relief. Unfortunately the liquid swoosh in her body followed the movement, which brought renewed tears to blue eyes.  
  
“You’re doing great, Miranda.” Standing with one leg on either side of the Captain so that she could place the brace and monitor the woman, Andrea let the calming words flow from her. She knew that she would be hysterical if their positions had been reversed. “I’m going to secure the side pieces, then I’m going to heal what I can with what I could conjure from the Bay.”  
  
Miranda kept her eyes trained on the steady presence of the younger brunette. The Captain had always seen the younger woman as an arrogant, young, know-it-all. It was the older woman’s, not so humble, opinion of the younger woman that while she might have had the piloting chops, she didn’t really know much of anything about real life deep space missions. Graduating academy, did not guarantee a future spot in the Captain’s chair—and Miranda thought that the brunette upstart missed that key learning. Andrea’s apparent calm and steady work comforted the Captain in this strange reality that they found themselves in, although a part of her did worry at the opposite nature she was seeing in the girl. ‘No, the young woman.’ Even focused on her breathing, the shifting pains in her body and the terrifying liquid swoosh within herself, Miranda corrected her lingering prejudice against the Pilot, who just might be more than Miranda had ever imagined. “How do you know?”  
  
The captain’s question never finished, yet Andrea knew the core of it. “I’m competitive.” She gave the Captain a wide smile when she scoffed at the response. “As you know we all go through some medical training. I’m not sure if it’s new, but they have these competitions.” Andrea grabbed another tool and shifted to kneel on the captain’s damaged side. “They are designed to test your team’s skills to navigate, scavenge, fight, and return alive. There aren’t a lot of rules and there’s usually at least one fatality.”  
  
Andrea stood and turned away from her patient. Miranda watched her body language curious at the timing of her movement and replaying her words back in her mind. She had heard of the competitions, brutal things, but she had thought they’d outlawed them or at least put forth some stringent regulations. Losing younger trained personnel, ‘like Andrea’ her mind supplied, was unconscionable. “You lost someone.”  
  
Returning from the Energy Bay with a medical waste bag and a piece of tubing, Andrea wiped at her eyes with the back of her free hand. “Not exactly.” Her tone allowed for the deeper meaning to shine through—no one died, but there had certainly been loss.  
  
Miranda nodded at her own interpretation of Andrea’s response—there were many ways to lose someone and it never really got any easier. ‘Maybe that’s why she was so determined to get on this journey?’  
  
Kneeling once again next to Miranda’s injured side, Andrea gave silent thanks that Miranda had not moved and that she did not ask follow up questions. She wondered how long the peace between them would last. Using the medical tape, she secured the waste bag to one end of the tubing. Pulling out the phaser, she wondered how bad this was going to be in reality since the theory was already pretty disgusting.  
  
“What do you think you are doing?” Miranda had focused enough to guess at Andrea’s next steps and she did not like the mental picture being assembled.  
  
“The fluid building up inside needs to be released before it goes somewhere you really don’t want it to, or it causes more damage when it runs out of room.” Andrea kept her voice neutral. It wouldn’t do to display any of the discomfort currently trying to derail all of her efforts.  
  
“You’re going to phaser my clothes open and then my side to stick that tube in?” Miranda wanted to make sure she was clear on the process and she wanted to be sure Andrea had thought it through. So far her treatment had been careful and heading toward feeling better, but she had to ask. “You were going to sedate me?” She couldn’t help it that her voice ran up into the disparaging register.  
  
Biting her lip at the crucial mistake, Andrea nodded. “Of course!” She crabbed at her patient for being right. “I was making sure that I had everything that I needed.” She motioned toward Miranda’s torso. “I think I can pull your uniform jacket and undershirt up enough through the bars of the brace to get access. I don’t think that the phaser will be the best for the incision, but I needed it out of my waistband. We haven’t been attacked, so I’m going to set it down.” She was rambling, but surgery, even minor surgery that she had read about, made her nervous. “So far the Energy Bay cooperates with anything that seems to be low level or of basic help. I’m not sure if it will give me the scalpel or proper anesthesia. I have a few choices for the scalpel, but the anesthesia alternatives are limited.” Running out of breath, Andrea looked down at her patient.  
  
“Recreational drugs or alcohol.” Miranda offered once it was clear that the younger woman had temporarily run out of things to say. “Euphoros.” She closed her eyes with her answer.  
  
Standing again, Andrea retrieved a tray, second medical waste bag, a survival multi-tool with as close to a scalpel as she could get the Energy Bay to give her, and the liquid form of the leading drug on the pleasure planet. “Apparently we can get high. However, we can’t do proper surgery.” Andrea confirmed as she returned to her position beside Miranda. Slowly, she bent forward and shifted Miranda’s clothing until cold air blew against Miranda’s injured side. Slipping on her gloves, Andrea held the vial of Euphoros in one hand and the multi-tool scalpel in the other. Everything she would need was within reach. She sucked in a breath of air, bit her bottom lip, and did not move.  
  
“Are you going to give me that, or not?” Miranda wanted it over and done so that she could rest and hopefully heal.  
  
Holding up the vial, Andrea sighed. “You won’t be properly coherent for a few hours.”  
  
Reaching her hand to rest on Andrea’s leg wherever she could reach, Miranda assured her. “The first two hours will be the worst. After that, I’ll be able to converse with you.” Miranda patted the leg under her palm and gave a slow smile. “I won’t think anything is serious, but I’ll be with you, Andrea.” When she saw the bottom lip quiver in her younger companion, Miranda felt her chest flutter and a sense of protectiveness rise. “I’m not any use to you now, so get this over with so that I can be of some use to you soon.”  
  
Andrea nodded and accepted the comfort in Miranda’s eyes. She held the vial to the corner to the older woman’s mouth and tipped it. Once Miranda had swallowed the contents down, Andrea began a silent count in between her own heartbeats in an effort to give the drug time to kick in.

 

 

x


	8. Euphoros

 

 

_**Bent Will. Part 8/?**_  
  
Task list in her head, Andrea had focused only on what needed to be done next to maximize her effectiveness for her patient and busy herself from thinking about the larger picture they were somehow living in. Surgery. Bring the bed to the patient, if the patient can’t go to the bed. Figure out how to lift the patient and not cause harm. Stay busy. The captain had complained that Andrea was ruining her trip with the burn during the surgery. More than once Andrea had to block Miranda’s hands from interfering with the incision or the tubing that was uncomfortably taped to her skin.  
  
Eventually, the frazzled surgeon had pinned Miranda’s good hand with her leg and she had settled into an awkward position to continue her work. She could have gone faster, but she kept using the diagnostic tool and cutting only a little at a time so that she didn’t cause more damage than needed to drain the excess liquid. It had nearly unraveled all of Andrea’s calm when the older woman’s fingers had slipped against bare skin over her ankle and underneath her trouser leg. “Smooth skin.” Miranda had murmured as she was distracted by the positive sensations enough to ignore the more painful ones.  
  
As the waste bag began to fill, Andrea shifted to release Miranda. She needed to see how the woman would react to the drain now that her hand was free. She also took a moment to calm herself from the other woman’s gentle touch. Instead of pulling at the tubing, Miranda stroked Andrea’s trouser leg and hummed with her eyes closed. Andrea had never felt more connected to the Captain than she had through this ordeal. The older woman trusted her—it was clear in her body language. It was disconcerting to have all of her perceptions of the captain tilted upside down. Needing to stay busy, Andrea slid away from the captain and began plotting how to shift her to somewhere more comfortable. She could elevate Miranda with some modified thrusters used in the Mechanical Bay to handle heavy equipment. However, the bed needed to be lower to keep the margin for error to a minimum.  
  
“Where you go?” The Captain’s voice was gravelly from their ordeal and tinged with playful want brought on by the Euphoros.  
  
Turning back to her patient, Andrea raised an eyebrow in an unwitting impression of her commanding officer. “I’m going to lower your bed, so that I can hover you into it.”  
  
A slow smile spread across Miranda’s face and she shifted to get up. “Bed is soft.”  
  
Rushing over to stop Miranda’s movement, Andrea stood over her and crouched down. She held her shoulders to the floor and kept steady eye contact with the Captain. “You can’t move on your own and you can’t pull at your side.” Andrea touched around the incision area to make her point.  
  
Hissing from the unwanted feelings in her side, Miranda pouted. “Took away skin and left me on floor.”  
  
Blinking her eyes at this response, Andrea caressed the side of Miranda’s cheek. “If you can be good, I’ll bring back the skin and put you in the bed.” When Miranda just hummed, Andrea quickly jumped into action. She wasn’t sure what she had just promised, or how Miranda would react after the Euphoros wore off.  
  
Brutal, but effective—that was all she could really say about her technique for lowering the Captain’s bed. It wasn’t even, but it was within the range of her projections for the modified thrusters to get Miranda onto the comfortable surface. Changing the medical waste bag, Andrea took comfort in the fact that the second one did not seem to be filling as rapidly as the first one. With any kind of luck, the excess liquid had been sufficiently drained and true healing could begin. Once the older woman was settled, Andrea dosed her with antibiotics to prevent infection.  
  
“You promised.” The Captain noted once Andrea stopped fussing about.  
  
Replaying things in her mind, the Pilot sighed. Her fatigue had returned now that she had done all she could for the moment. Miranda wanted the tactile sensation of touching her skin, which would serve to distract her from the discomfort and pain of her injuries. Joining the Captain on top of the covers, Andrea tangled their fingers together so that Miranda could enjoy the contact.  
  
Closing her eyes, she told herself it was only for Miranda.

 

 

 

 

x


	9. So Far So Good

 

 

_**Bent Will. Part 9/?**_  
  
Wondering when the nightmares were going to stop blurring together, Miranda patted the wound at her side and then exhaled sadly. At first, she thought that one nightmare had ended and flowed into another, but the drainage tube at the incision and the heated presence of someone in her bed told her that if it was a nightmare, then it was one that was just going to continue to morph. The destruction of the ship—horrific. Finding herself medically incapacitated and in the tender care of her dysfunctional pilot—salt in the wounds. Not being able to wake up from either situation and feeling like this was her new reality—no words.  
  
Miranda opened her eyes and looked around. It was a strange comfort to be in her own bed in her quarters. How could her quarters be intact? How could either she or Andrea be alive? Why didn’t they wake on the bridge where they had been when the countdown ended? Realizing her angle was off from her usual morning wake up, jogged Miranda’s mind—her bed had been lowered to facilitate getting her onto the softer surface.  
  
She had no idea how much time they had already wasted upon their first arrival and wakening and then during their make shift medical machinations. It was tempting to ask for the time. At least it was tempting, until she remembered the results of their previous inquiries to the new and not improved Interface.  
  
What was outside the door of her quarters? The Interface could not give them data on the ship’s status, though it did indicate that only the pair of them were ‘on board.’ Miranda sighed again as she found herself wondering what ‘on board’ even meant.  
  
Knowing that her thoughts would just continue to spin out of control, Miranda turned her head to face Andrea. Watching the brunette sleep, the older woman found her perceptions of the younger woman shifting. It was unusual to find herself actively of two minds about someone. Usually the changes happened gradually enough that one day she found her opinion of a person changed or a skill set acknowledged. The younger woman appeared peaceful, though she was more pale than usual. Miranda remembered rubbing her fingers against the smooth cheek, and demanding the return of her skin when Andrea had moved away to reposition her. That had been the Euphoros working its magic to highlight positive touch and texture while altering the painful sensations. She knew the effects of the drug going in, so she dismissed those actions. Her body had already burned the drug out of her system, so Miranda found herself pondering her current circumstances. She was still resting comfortably absorbing the pleasant body heat provided by Andrea. Her fingers tingled with the desire to reach up and run along the smoothness of Andrea’s cheek again. Without the influence of the drug, Miranda wanted to watch those long lashes flutter open and watch as the younger woman’s deep brown eyes focused and she blinked as she took in the present situation.  
  
Swallowing against her dry throat and balling her hand into a fist lest it move on its own, Miranda tried her voice. “An.” Her first attempt was cut short as were her second and third attempts at saying the younger woman’s name. Finally, she sighed and reached for the younger woman’s hand already so close to her own. She squeezed several times before picking up their joined hands and waving them back and forth to finally get a reaction. Miranda knew she shouldn’t watch the transformation of Andrea as she moved towards consciousness; however, she found herself unable to look away.  
  
The younger woman turned onto her elbow looking at Miranda. It was clear, she was still trying to focus. A few seconds later, comprehension sparked and her body tensed. It was unclear what unnerved her—waking in the same strange situation as before or waking up next to her captain. Miranda watched as Andrea slipped off the bed and ran her hands over her face and hair. As she stretched her body out, she asked, “Miranda? Did you wake on your own? How’s the pain? Any fever?”  
  
Her brow furrowed from missing the heat and presence of the other woman in bed with her, Miranda decided to push that knowledge away. Andrea’s fight to focus was commendable. The captain wondered if the younger woman had ever fallen asleep at her duty station or perhaps in class at the academy. She wondered if that was where she developed the ability to focus so quickly. Pilots rarely slept at the controls. It was probably why they talked so much. Shaking her head as she caught up to the rapid-fire questions, Miranda shook her head in the negative and pointed at her throat.  
  
Taking the cue for what it was, Andrea gasped. “Of course. Your throat is dry. I’ll go.” She turned to head toward the Energy Bay and then just as suddenly returned to the bed. “Better check for fever and infection first.” She grabbed the diagnostic from the floor and ran it over her patient. “So far so good.” She nodded once the machine had chirped its final read out.  
  
Checked over and checked again, Miranda found herself propped on extra pillows as she drank her water. Andrea seemed to be having some kind of panic attack at the Energy Bay. As items continued to be pulled from the Energy Bay and the younger woman muttered to herself, Miranda wondered if she was going to build a fort of some kind. She also wondered how she could interrupt the young woman without undoing the positive medical effects of her surgery and subsequent rest. “Andrea, what is it that you are doing?” She called out louder than her usual bridge commands, but lower than an emergency shout.  
  
Instead of answering, the pilot looked around her at the array of things already produced and then seemed to go through a mental checklist in her head before turning back to the Energy Bay.  
  
Fingers tapping against her lip for a few seconds, Miranda decided to give in to her urge to check in with the Interface. She hoped that it would jolt Andrea out of whatever trance she had put herself in. “Interface, what is the date and time?”  
  
After a moment of silence the clear tones of this new Interface voice intoned, “It is 1424 hours on date 68923.2.”  
  
A thud from across the room drew Miranda’s attention from her own disappointment at the answer. Blue eyes tracked Andrea hopping around on one foot and groaning in pain. “Get an ice pack and come over here.” The snap of command threaded through her voice and she was relieved to see the younger woman responding to it whether it was on a subconscious level or not. “We need to talk.”  
  


 

 

 

 

x


	10. Booby Traps.

_**Bent Will. Part 10/?**_  
  
Limping over with the ice pack in hand, Andrea settled in her previous spot on the bed. Reclining flat, she draped an arm over her eyes and bit her lip trying not to cry out—her pride more wounded than her foot. Andrea wasn’t certain whether she should count Miranda’s silence as a blessing or a curse. As her breathing evened out, she realized that she had been pulling things from the Energy Bay in the same way that some people used baking or extreme physical sports to deal with stress. When Miranda asked the Interface that horrible question, it broke her concentration enough for her to drop that box on her foot. Otherwise Andrea was certain she’d continue her binge of creation until there was no more space available.  
  
Reaching out Miranda rubbed her fingertips along the uniformed arm over Andrea’s face. At first the younger woman sucked in a lungful of air and held it. She released it slowly, then she continued to take slow, measured breaths that indicated a deliberate shift towards being calm.  
  
“What were you going to build over there, Andrea?” The words were full of curiosity and even a hint of amusement.  
  
Andrea shifted her arm to her side and blinked at Miranda. The older woman was looking down at her from her position propped on the pillows. “A barricade, a food storage unit, a couple sets of body armor…” Andrea waved her hand in circles out toward the living room. “The Energy Bay seems to be set to allow us to defend ourselves and heal in rudimentary ways.” The brunette sighed. “I panicked when it wouldn’t let me have any weapon more destructive than the phaser.”  
  
Miranda blinked at this revelation, but looked out at the other supplies that fit Andrea’s words. “So you went into defensive siege mode so that we could hole up in here indefinitely.”  
  
Sitting up to look at her throbbing foot, Andrea grunted. “Something like that.”  
  
Swallowing a comment about baking or cleaning as coping mechanisms, Miranda offered, “Your medical diagnostic tool is on your side of the bed. You should scan your foot and tend to it.”  
  
Dropping the ice pack with a thud, Andrea twisted to reach her original medical tools. A quick scan revealed a cracked bone and with the other device she was able to mend it. Standing on it again, she winced at the discomfort. Knowing that her captain wouldn’t accept whining, she began to totter back toward the mess in the living room.  
  
“Andrea, come back here.” The words held tones of command as well as exasperation.  
  
Turning with wide eyes, Andrea looked back at her captain trying to determine her current error. “Yes.” Andrea’s tone reflected just how off kilter she felt and the not quite articulated ‘captain’ and question mark were palpable in the silence.  
  
“You can’t build your fort now. Come here.” Miranda patted the bed all the while trying to rid herself of the thought that she just wanted the younger woman by her side. “We need a plan.” She narrowed her eyes at her pilot’s stance favoring her injured foot. “And you need to ice that so the inflammation goes down.”  
  
Silently, Andrea returned to the bed and scooped up her ice pack before settling down again. She didn’t like the sound of planning. It likely meant investigating what was outside those doors and what the unusual Interface meant with its cryptic answers. “I don’t want to go out there.” The words were out before she could censor them, but they were the truth. She straightened herself up and looked right at her commanding officer’s blue eyes.  
  
“Do you think I want you to leave me here alone and incapacitated?” The older woman’s voice was so low that Andrea had to lean closer to hear her. “I cannot even defend myself and would have no way to communicate with you or know how you are doing.”  
  
Blinking her brown eyes several times, Andrea’s brain flew into action. Of course if their positions were reversed, then Andrea wouldn’t want to let Miranda out of her sight, let alone out into what may or may not be a peaceful corridor of the ship. “Thank you.” Andrea murmured and reached out her hand to touch her fingers to Miranda’s hand on top of the bed covers.  
  
Nodding her acknowledgement, Miranda took a deep breath. “That all being true, we have no way of knowing how long we’ve been here. Nor do we rightly know what constitutes our current position. By all counts we should be dead—either blown up in the self-destruct or crashed into the planet.”  
  
Andrea swallowed and nodded, “I don’t know how long until it will be safe for you to be up and about. I don’t want you to re-injure yourself.”  
  
Reaching for Andrea’s hand where it had remained next to her own, Miranda stroked her thumb along the back of the younger woman’s hand. “I don’t want to make you re-live painful memories, but you have emergency crash course training and experience. What do you suggest?”  
  
Closing her eyes to block the negative memories, but somehow to filter in the knowledge gained, Andrea breathed deeply. “During the emergency you just act and re-act, but it’s times like this that are harder because you begin to over think.”  
  
Tapping her thumb against Andrea’s skin, Miranda suggested, “I could shoot out the Energy Bay to make it a crisis.”  
  
Andrea’s head whipped around to search her commander’s face. For a moment she wondered if the woman was feverish. Then the older woman tilted her head and her eyes sparkled with mischief. “Oh my god. No wonder no one thinks you have a sense of humor.” Andrea scooted round so that she was facing her captain with her ice pack foot bent just shy of the pillows. “At least you didn’t offer to shoot me.” She shook her head. A few moments later, she couldn’t deny the effectiveness of her captain’s harsh joke. “We can’t rely on normal communications from the Interface, but we need to stay in contact somehow.” Andrea tapped against the damp ice pack as she thought. “Given what the Energy Bay has let me produce so far, I think we could get an old push-to-talk system. I have to go out there, but I don’t plan on going too far the first time. That would solve our communication issues, and allow us to not feel so alone.”  
  
With a nod, Miranda shifted to look at the array of things in the living area of her quarters. “You said something about a barricade and body armor.” At Andrea’s nod, she continued with her thought thread. “If you leave the barricade up and I’m in a partial set of armor that would be a place to start.” She narrowed her eyes at the thought of laying there while an attacker closed in on her. “No weapons bigger than phasers.” Shifting against the pillows, Miranda thought back to her own emergency survival training exercises. “Booby-traps.” She exuberantly patted Andrea’s hand underneath her own. “Let’s see what that Energy Bay makes of pieces that we can rig for other purposes.”  
  
Feeling a wave of hope and purpose rush through her, Andrea dropped her ice pack on the floor again. Standing up she tested her foot to see if the irritation had gone down. Smiling at the results, she began to rush around the quarters while muttering about possibilities.  
  
Miranda watched in awe of the younger woman who had bounced back from her earlier panic and despair. If she had only realized the difference in having a conversation like the one she had just had could make on people, then maybe situations throughout her life would have been different. Several minutes later both sets of body armor appeared on the bed, giving Miranda something to focus on while she recovered and supervised Andrea’s bustling preparations.  
  
The captain could not say how long the preparations took. It was possible that she had dozed off only to be awoken by a buzz on the walkie-talkie. Looking around, she noticed that the barricade ruined her visibility of the door. She knew the booby-traps would alert her to the presence of anyone coming into the room; however, it still caused her shoulders to tense. Sending another person out into dangerous situations came with the rank and situation, but that didn’t make it any easier. To simultaneously be left alone while physically impaired simply added to the swirl of worries in her head.  
  
Andrea pulled on the bottom of her uniform tunic nervously. The walkie-talkie on her hip routed to a cable that led to a push button on the edge of her left pointer finger for easy access and more control over whom could hear the transmissions. One phaser was tucked into her waistband and a second one was strapped lower on her thigh. A knife was strapped to her calf. Out of sight, Andrea had a short staff strapped to her back in such a way that it would give easily with a tug. The younger woman looked fiercer now that she had gathered her weapons and her courage together.  
  
Miranda felt her fingertips tingle with the desire to stroke the brunette’s cheek before she left. It pained her to be stuck propped up on pillows while this younger woman went into the unknown.  
  
“Be safe.” Miranda couldn’t help giving at least one more order.  
  
Nodding, Andrea acknowledged the command. “You as well.”  
  
Without hesitation, the younger woman turned on her heel. Once she slid the final piece of the barricade into place, Miranda could only track her by sound. She heard two of the traps being set as Andrea moved through the room. That was followed by the swoosh of the doors opening and closing. Then the silence set in.

 

 

x


	11. Pros and Cons.

_**Bent Will. Part 11/?**_  
  
Andrea crouched low and looked up the corridor in both directions. It looked like every corridor in the ship; however, unlike every corridor in the ship this one faded into what appeared to be bright light at each end. From her current position she could not deduce what would be beyond the light, if it would damage her, or if the rest of the ship existed beyond those two points at the end of the hall. No one was in this section of corridor with her. It was like the captain’s quarters in the sense that it was undamaged. It occurred to her that beyond the light there could be nothing—just the vastness of space. However, she dismissed the thought since she surely would have been sucked out into space had there been a breach into open space. Taking small comfort in this theory, the younger woman tried to catalog details of the scene in her mind.  
  
Standing to her full height, Andrea kept her eyes moving to search out danger. Knowing that she would have to investigate, Andrea edged closer in the direction that should lead to medical. Either the doctor or his equipment would help the situation.  
  
Nervously, Andrea looked back up the corridor behind her where the door of the captain’s quarters marked the mid-point of the visible area. Nothing had changed since she had looked the last time, but her nerves were on fire with the anticipation of having to mostly close or cover her eyes in order to get any closer to the mysterious light barrier. She didn’t like to turn her back when there were so many unknowns. Being attacked would be awful and being separated from the captain would be worse. Leaning her back against the wall, Andrea settled for a sideways approach. Reaching her hand out, she pressed it into the light. No pain, no resistance, and no real new information was revealed—Andrea pulled her hand back to her side with relief. She hadn’t learned a lot, but it did not seem to be there to block them in or to hurt them.  
  
Pressing the talk button on her left hand, Andrea spoke into the walkie-talkie. “Miranda. Corridor looks like any other corridor in the ship. Unfortunately after about forty steps in each direction there is a barrier of light that does not allow for any other visual surveillance. I do not know if the corridor continues on the other side of the light. The one on the side that would lead toward medical is not harmful. I can put my hand into it without any kind of reaction. Please advise.” It was more words than should be normally used on such a device, but Andrea did not want to have a three word at a time discussion when she could just summarize what she now knew.  
  
Miranda breathed deep. The information was just as infuriating as the information they had access to within the confines of her quarters. “Was there an access panel in the corridor?”  
  
Nodding at the unspoken suggestion within Miranda’s question, Andrea walked back up the stretch of passageway available to her. She passed the door to the captain’s quarters and kept going as she looked on both sides of the walkway. “There is an access panel on the other end of the corridor.” Andrea checked her phaser and then reached for the access panel handle with her left hand. Disappointed, she sighed and then reached her hand toward the new patch of light on the other side. Her phaser was sucked from her hand in an instant and she pulled back. Her left hand pressed against her heart, Andrea looked around her for any changes. Thinking back on this phaser pulling experience and the other light barrier she had touched at the end of the corridor, Andrea realized that she had not put her phaser hand into the light the first time. Breathing out forcefully, Andrea stuck her now empty hand back into the patch of light from the open access panel. It was like the previous light barrier with no reaction of any kind. Shifting sideways, Andrea reached out her hand with the walkie-talkie access point. When nothing happened to it after several seconds, Andrea pulled back and closed the panel. She didn’t like the conclusion that she had drawn from that experiment. “Access panel is just more light. I did discover that it will take my phaser, but leave my walkie-talkie cable.”  
  
The long seconds in between updates were difficult to bear for Miranda until she heard this latest bit of news. She was glad that it didn’t seem like they were trapped, but she didn’t like that it seemed their defenses would be stripped away. The only ways in or out of their area of the ship seemed to be blocked by bright lights. Miranda tried to envision what Andrea was seeing, but it was difficult. That scenario seemed to indicate that they were not connected to the rest of the ship anymore. Recalling the Interface’s inability to update them on the status of the ship made Miranda’s stomach turn.  
  
“Miranda?” The concern evident in Andrea’s voice drew the captain’s attention.  
  
“Options, Andrea.” Miranda wanted to prompt the younger woman in this instance instead of ordering her into further uncertainty.  
  
“Attempt to breech one of the light barriers.” Andrea paused and then continued. “Stand watch out here for any changes.” Her words were slow as she thought about each one as she said it, the situation as a whole, and any other choices. “Or return to quarters.”  
  
Shaking her head at their options, Miranda asked, “Have you tried the Interface out there?”  
  
After a pause, Andrea dryly replied, “I don’t really like her anymore.” Keeping her finger on the talk button on her left hand, the brunette called out, “Interface, what is the date and time?”  
  
The seconds stretched out after her question. Miranda’s hand holding the walkie-talkie shook until she lowered it to her lap. She could still hear the static from Andrea’s side of the connection and knew she could not communicate with the younger woman until she released the button.  
  
“Damn.” Andrea’s voice held a note of defeat as she returned her focus to Miranda. “No Interface out here.”  
  
A lump in her throat, Miranda swallowed before pulling her walkie-talkie up again. “There are pros and cons to each option, Andrea. I will support your choice.”  
  
Letting her head hit back against the wall, Andrea pushed to talk again. “The one time I want an order from you and you want me to pick.” For all the honesty of the statement, they both knew it was said in jest to break the severity of the situation hanging over them. “Coming back in doesn’t answer anything. Waiting here just makes both of us anxious and still doesn’t answer anything.” Sucking in a deep breath of air, Andrea was glad that it seemed as fresh as all starship air. “So I’m going through the light on the side leading toward medical.” Standing away from the wall again, Andrea flexed her muscles and did a bit of stretching to psych herself up.  
  
“Understood.” Miranda clutched the communication device to her chest like the lifeline that it had become. “Be safe.” She added again, and then before she could stop herself came the next command. “And call in.” Feeling foolish, Miranda dropped the walkie-talkie away from her on the bed, to prevent any further well wishes or sentimental commands.  
  
“As soon as I’m on the other side.” Andrea wasn’t sure if she should close her eyes or put her hands out in front of her as she stepped forward. She supposed that it wouldn’t matter, because instinct would take over if her brain turned off.

 

 

x


	12. Options.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is a short chapter :)

_**Bent Will. Part 12/?**_  
  
Slumping against the wall just past the light barrier, Andrea let out the breath she had greedily held onto as she moved forward. Her hand had come up in a defensive motion as well, so now she patted her chest trying to encourage her heart into a slower rhythm. Looking around as her breathing evened out, Andrea noted that this corridor had nothing to do with that corridor. Somehow by going through the light she had transitioned into a new place as well. Pressing the button to talk, Andrea used her other hand to check her weapons. “Miranda? I’m through.” Unsurprisingly, the phaser strapped to her thigh had disappeared. She took small comfort in the fact that her knife remained in place along with the small staff at her back. “Miranda? Come back?” Andrea tried the communication device again wondering what distance could have been involved with the light barrier.  
  
“Andrea. Good to hear you.” Miranda’s voice seemed delayed somehow. “Status?”  
  
Reaching back toward the light with her right hand, Andrea wondered if it would allow her to return. Tears welled in her eyes to think it was possible this separation would be permanent. “Uncertain status. The light barrier passed without incident. In empty corridor. Safe for the time being.”  
  
Already having picked up on the delay in their communications, Miranda waited patiently as Andrea’s phrases continued coming through. Beyond this sluggish relay, she thought that there was an element of desperation in the younger woman’s voice. Her safety held true; however, another surprise must have appeared to Andrea that Miranda could not puzzle out while she was stuck in bed recovering. “Andrea? Why is your status uncertain?” The desire to get out of the bed, ready or not, ran through her body in waves that she barely resisted giving into. She wondered about the strength of her protective streak toward the aggravating brunette. It wasn’t the first time she had noticed her reactions or thoughts about the younger woman changing, but that in itself was worth pondering.  
  
“You’ve heard the delay in our transmissions?” The brunette really didn’t want to say it out loud.  
  
“Andrea, spit it out.” Miranda hated being harsh in her words, but the feeling that they were running out of time pushed her to cut to the chase. If Andrea would be going further away, their communications could fade completely. She hadn’t thought of it before when they were going through options, but the Captain now realized that getting through a barrier did not mean a return trip was possible. She had only to think of their brig wards for an easy example.  
  
Andrea’s voice came through seconds later. “Interface, what is my location?”  
  
Her eyes widening in surprise, Miranda held the walkie-talkie closer to her ear.  
  
When no response came, Andrea looked up and down the unfamiliar corridor as tears welled in her eyes.  
  
After telling herself to wait more than once, Miranda pressed the button. “Andrea?”  
  
Patting her forehead with the knuckle of her clenched fist Andrea breathed in deeply as she tried to will the tears to hold their position. “The corridor I’m in is not on board the USS Hathaway.” Andrea breathed in, while willing her eyes to remain open and alert for danger. She begrudgingly admitted the need to blink repeatedly to beat back the wetness spilling from her eyes. “It is a mostly white corridor seemingly lit from the outside. There are no distinguishing features like wall panels, doors, windows or ceiling lights. The Interface did not respond here.” Looking into the distance, Andrea swallowed hard and then shared her final observation. “The corridor continues and I do not see an end to it.”  
  
Miranda found tears welling in her own eyes as she took in the information being relayed. Recognizing the encroaching and mixed-up emotions threatening to overwhelm her, the Captain kept to her focused, if a little harsh, ways. “Options.” As soon as the word left her mouth, she wanted to pull it back. Pressing the button and clearing her throat, she repeated it and then added a more gentle, “Andrea.”  
  
Unable to accept the virtual hug of the careful use of her name, the brunette willed herself steady on her feet and pushed away from the wall. “Carry on or attempt to return. I do not know how long we will be able to communicate if I traverse the corridor, nor do I know if I could return through the light barrier.” Andrea paused and then continued on, not wanting to test her fragile control against another of Miranda’s spontaneous kindnesses. “Thinking I can return is more hopeful than trying it and knowing I cannot. I believe continuing up this corridor will yield more information though it will risk our communications, ma’am.”  
  
Closing her eyes at the familiar defiance, Miranda protested. “I’ve told you not to call me that.”  
  
With a nod to herself, Andrea touched her remaining weapons once more. Given her experiences so far, she predicted that weapons for basic defense were permitted, though it seemed to be more for a sense of comfort instead of a need for use. The phasers being taken as she entered this area indicated that violence would not be permitted. It was an odd theory that she didn’t really have enough data to support, but still she left her knife and short staff where they were, instead of pulling them. “Aye, Captain, you have. Another Andrea from you, though, might have derailed me completely.”  
  
Touched by that response, Miranda told her, “Be safe. Report when you can.”  
  
Andrea stepped forward as she responded, “Aye, Miranda.”  
  


 

 

x


	13. Tima

_**Bent Will. Part 13/?**_  
  
Looking back, Andrea noticed that the light barrier always seemed to stay a set distance behind her. She had not counted off her paces, but she would have guessed that the distance from the Captain’s door to the light barrier would be the approximate distance that the light barrier trailed along behind her. After what had to be several minutes of walking, Andrea began counting in order to prove to herself that she had covered a certain amount of distance in an approximate time frame. It wasn’t a skill she had used since her survival course days and even then she had never perfected it, though she was versed enough to know she’d covered a stretch.  
  
Just when her panic had begun to mount, the corridor opened up to a wide white room. A pair of couches, like the ones in the Captain’s quarters, stood out in regulation blue against the austere surroundings. A humanoid figure stood up and drew Andrea’s eye to its nondescript appearance that seemed to be in flux.  
  
When the alien simply motioned for Andrea to join her at the couches, the brunette felt her rebellious streak coming to the surface. “What is this place?” The pilot looked around again only to see the wide room and the corridor she had come from. “Where is our ship?” Andrea stood near the couches, but did not sit as she had been invited to. “Where is the crew?”  
  
Tilting its head, the alien touched its face causing its features to morph into more definition. Andrea realized that the reptilian eyes that had greeted her now sported a rounded pupil and golden iris. The eyelashes and eyebrows grew in similarly hued. At first a fine fuzz of hair covered the alien’s head and then began to lengthen and curl in waves that were the color of the sun’s rays. It hung down to the alien’s shoulders, like Andrea’s own hair did during free time.  
  
“Who are you?” Andrea whispered as she took in the changed appearance of the alien that now looked like a golden blonde version of herself.  
  
The alien smiled and motioned to the couches again. “Your people would call me a Tima Cambire.” At the sound of the alien’s voice, Andrea sat heavily on the nearest couch. It was the voice of the modified Interface in the Captain’s Quarters. “In your modern tongue I believe you would call me a Time Changer.” The alien adjusted its white clothing around its now tan toned form as it sat on the other couch to face Andrea.  
  
Forcing her jaw to close, Andrea wondered where to begin. Her earlier questions still needed answering, yet the possibilities swirling in her brain at the implications that the alien’s species name called forward had her scrambling for priorities. “Do you have a name?” When the alien blinked at her, she tried, “What should I call you?”  
  
Crossing one leg over the other, the Time Changer pursed her lips. “You may call me Tima, since that word is no longer in your tongue.”  
  
Pressing the button on her left hand, Andrea hoped that the push-to-talk connection with Miranda would work. “Why would my people call you a Time Changer?”  
  
Leaning back against the cushions, Tima stretched her arm out across the back. “It is a capability—one that your kind would have abused. We study and travel in order to continue learning. We have watched you for millennia, you would call it.” The alien paused over the word millennia as if trying it out in her mind before using it.  
  
Uncertain of how to even follow up on that comment, Andrea chose to press for more current details. “Where is this place?” She motioned to the room around them before continuing. “Where is the ship I was on? What happened to the crew?”  
  
Abandoning all pretense of nonchalance, the alien scooted forward to the edge of the cushion and leaned toward Andrea. Her golden eyes fixed on the Pilot with unwavering intensity. “They are all dead—just as you wanted.”  
  
Her head jerking back, Andrea barely kept from screeching, “What? What do you mean?”  
  
Adjusting her hands in her lap, Tima blinked once at her outraged companion. “Just that. You wanted them dead and they are all dead.”  
  
Looking around as if to find someone to help explain the situation to her, Andrea returned her gaze to the patient alien on the other couch. “I didn’t want anyone dead.” She made sure to keep her voice calm and even as she carefully enunciated the words. “If I wanted anyone dead, it would have been the aliens attacking us.”  
  
Narrowing the golden eyes, the alien brought up an accusing finger-like appendage. “You aimed the ship at their world.” Extending its arm, Tima pointed at the light barrier waiting in the corridor like a trained animal. “She set the ship to blow up.” Returning her hand to her lap, she clasped her hands together and sighed. “You both got what you wanted. They are all dead.”  
  
Andrea stared at the Time Changer in disbelief. The accusation in her tone was clear. The blame for the deaths of the entire crew was being put on their heads. Slapping her hand against her thigh in a disgusted gesture, Andrea lashed out. “The Phyrochez attacked us. We just wanted to trade, re-fuel, relax, and continue on our way. They attacked us.”  
  
Leaning back again and projecting an air of nonchalance, Tima shrugged off the rebuttal. “They are not your problem.”  
  
Floored by the entire conversation, Andrea clenched her fist in her lap. “What is my problem?” She ran her hand over her face in frustration and amended her question, “Or what is our problem?”  
  
Lifting a hand to gesture at her companion, Tima responded. “You are responsible for your behavior as they are responsible for theirs.”  
  
Andrea unclenched and clenched her fist a few times in an effort to pause her temper before she tried speaking again. “So are the Phyrochez somewhere just like this then?” Tima sighed and rolled her eyes to dismiss the inquiry. Andrea followed up with, “Are we prisoners?”  
  
Waving toward the light barrier and the corridor, Tima asked, “Does it feel that way? What limitations have you truly encountered?”  
  
Tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear, Andrea willed herself to err on the side of patience, if not caution. Prefacing her query with a smile, she quietly asked, “Do you ever answer a question with a straight answer?”  
  
Smiling at Andrea as if she were her own recalcitrant offspring, Tima acknowledged. “It is not our way. Rarely do we speak to outsiders, even more rarely do we offer another chance.” For many seconds the silence hung between them as Andrea processed those words and their implications. “Andrea, go back and discuss with Miranda.” Tima stood and began walking toward the center of the room. Not wanting to let the other woman get away from her, Andrea rushed to follow her. Turning as if there had been a mark on the floor, Tima smiled at Andrea and extended her arm toward the corridor.  
  
With more questions than answers, the brunette opened her mouth to protest.  
  
“Return when you are ready.” Tima’s voice had softened to that of a well-meaning teacher after a scolding.  
  
Andrea looked toward the partial corridor wondering if she would arrive at the Captain’s quarters with less steps than she had taken to get away from them. Wondering how she would return to this place or call for the Time Changer, the brunette looked back to ask about details. The woman was gone. The wide white room had returned itself to its original status without the blue couches.  
  
Looking down at her hand, Andrea realized that she’d been holding the button nearly the entire time. Raising her left hand, she tried, “Miranda?”  
  
Shifting her grip on the communication device, the white haired captain offered, “I heard, Andrea. Come back.”  
  
Relief coursing through her at the response and the feeling of being asked to come home, the brunette smiled. As she began walking, she chirped her reply, “Aye, Captain.”

 

 

x


	14. Hesitate to Shoot

_**Bent Will. Part 14/?**_  
  
Each time Andrea thought she had taken enough steps to return to the light barrier, it once again was out of reach. Once she realized that it appeared to move, Andrea tried to not blink and look only at it. Yet, even with those precautions, it managed to move when she was forced by biology to blink. “Tima!” Andrea growled out as she came to a stop and stamped her foot. “Is the barrier moving on purpose?” The brunette glared at the light barrier and waited for a response. After several seconds, she looked around the corridor trying to spot any changes that would reveal a trick or a reset of the illusion. Finding none and still standing in silence, Andrea huffed.  
  
Narrowing her eyes at the light barrier once again, Andrea began walking. Thankfully this time she was able to approach it and pass through it with no further incident. “Thanks.” She waved her hands in the air uncertain whether she should be thanking anyone or not. She couldn’t be sure that grateful was the right word for what she felt in any case.  
  
“Miranda. I’m through the barrier and can see the door that should be to your quarters.” Andrea updated the Captain as she moved forward.  
  
“I was beginning to worry.” The recovering Captain admitted.  
  
Shaking her head at the thought of explaining the delay, Andrea offered an update instead. “Once I’m through the door, I’ll shout out for each of the traps and then the barricade. Hesitate to shoot, alright?” Standing outside the door, Andrea smiled knowing that she was breaking all kinds of protocols with that string of steps.  
  
“Just hesitate?” Miranda couldn’t help the reply knowing the kinds of trouble the younger woman had put her through in the last year.  
  
“Haha.” Andrea deadpanned and then reached for the door. Disabling each trap as she approached the Captain, Andrea called out. Finally shifting the barricade piece so that she could breach through into the Captain’s room, Andrea dared to order her commander. “You better not shoot me, ma’am.” Ducking down just in case, Andrea came through the barricade in a crouch just to dodge any shots from the interior.  
  
“I might shoot you just for that.” Miranda rolled her eyes and then set her phaser down on the covers as Andrea stood to her full height. “I might have lost my mind if you hadn’t kept that connection open the whole time.” Miranda ran her fingers through her hair messing it up and then smoothing it afterwards.  
  
Sitting next to the Captain on the bed, Andrea grinned. “I figured it was worth a shot. Besides, I didn’t want you nagging me in the middle of—”  
  
Miranda whacked Andrea with a pillow. “I should have shot you.”  
  
Hugging the pillow to keep it from her attacker, Andrea teased back. “Either you’re feeling better or you have a fever.” She held up her finger and pretended to have Miranda track it with her eyes with for a few moments.  
  
Laughing at the younger woman’s antics, Miranda then sighed. “I have no idea how long you were gone.”  
  
Andrea made a frowny face at the older woman and then grimly asked, “Interface—what is the date and time.”  
  
The expected reply came back, “It is 1424 hours on date 68923.2.”  
  
Miranda’s eyebrows lifted, before she asked, “The alien is the new Interface?”  
  
Nodding Andrea began to list details she had learned or now had a theory about. “Yes, Tima, the Time Changer, is the new Interface voice. She also knew my name and yours without me telling them to her. She knew that I aimed the ship at the planet and that you set the self-destruct sequence.”  
  
Tapping her lips with her fingers, the white haired Captain came back with, “At the end there, she said to come back and discuss with me. Do you think she knew we had a communication link?”  
  
Andrea shrugged and shook her head. “I get the feeling she knows everything, right down to what I can replicate and why I might want it.” Reaching down, Andrea pulled her knife free from the calf strap. “She asked what limitations I had really encountered when I asked about being a prisoner.” Holding the knife up as an example, she continued on, “I think she knew the light barrier took the phasers and left the knife and my staff.” Andrea pulled the staff loose and set both weapons down on the floor. “I think we have been allowed to defend ourselves in order to let us have a sense of control or power. I think it’s all an illusion of some kind.”  
  
Tears welled in Miranda’s eyes. Andrea fidgeted where she stood, but resisted the urge to pace. The silence stretched out between them only measured by heartbeats and thoughts whirling in their minds. “If this is all an illusion, what happened to the ship, Andrea?” Miranda’s voice caught on the end of the question, but she forced herself to follow up, “What happened to the crew?” When Andrea just blinked at her, Miranda wiped at her eyes hoping to pause the tears where they were. “Are they all dead? Are we dead, too?”  
  
The heady combination of the subject matter and Miranda’s tears effectively derailed Andrea’s brain. The younger woman stammered, “I don’t. I mean, I don’t think, ugh, we can’t be.” She waved the sentence off as if the hand gesture completed her sentence for her. Coming forward she sat on the bed and pulled Miranda into her arms. “That can’t be true.” She murmured over and over into the white hair that was softer than she ever would have thought.  
  
Miranda fisted the fabric under her fingers as she wept into Andrea’s shoulder. Giving the command to destruct the ship was not one the Captain ever supposed she would survive. Having the deaths of her crew thrown at her feet by an unknown alien should not be a situation that could exist. Yet here she was weeping for them and herself in Andrea’s arms—the crew person that should have been the least likely to comfort or connect with her.  
  
“I’ve got you.” Andrea repeated over and over. Miranda pushed forward until they were diagonally across the bed. Her sobs eventually slipped into soft snores, while Andrea’s covering words shifted into sleepy mumbles.

 

 

x


	15. Not My Idea of Heaven

_**Bent Will. Part 15/?**_  
  
Groaning and pulling away slightly, Miranda breathed deeply trying to shift into consciousness. Arms around her indicated safety and companionship. However, the sandy feeling in her eyes and the discomfort in her side revealed another layer to the situation around her. Groaning and pulling away from the warm curves of her companion, Miranda shook her head as she recalled the events leading up to waking curled up with her Pilot.  
  
Jolting awake at the sound and shift, Andrea hurriedly looked around and then sprang into action. “How’s your incision?” She asked as she slipped off the bed, scooped up her medical tools and rounded to the other side.  
  
Lifting her arm out of the way so that Andrea could check her incision and the deeper wounds, Miranda sighed. “Truthfully, I feel much better. Physical healing seems to be working just fine in this place.” Watching Andrea set the device aside and pick up the healing tool, Miranda paused before admitting. “Given the troubling reality we seem to be facing, another dose of the Euphoros would ease my mental pain.”  
  
Andrea nodded back at her commanding officer. “Let me take out the drain and heal the incision, then you are on for a dose of that.” Indicating to Miranda that she was going to do as her words suggested, Andrea began to remove the tape surrounding the drain and then the plastic tubing. “I think I’ll join you!” Andrea stood and took all of the medical waste to the Energy Bay for recycling. She wasn’t sure if it mattered, but procedure was still procedure.  
  
“Thank you, Andrea. That feels so much better.” Miranda tested her side with her fingers and then had begun to sit up on the side of the bed. “Can I stand?”  
  
Offering her hands to the Captain, Andrea smiled. “Remember to go easy.” Once the Captain grabbed her hands she added, “And that you’re closer to the ground than your usual bed.” The smirk on her face irked the Captain who only made it half way up on her first attempt.  
  
“I can still shoot you.” The older woman growled as she tried again and ended up standing face to face with the younger brunette. They were suddenly so close that Miranda held her breath for a few moments.  
  
Stepping back so Miranda could walk forward, Andrea agreed. She kept her hands out for Miranda to balance with as needed. “You could indeed. Though I’m dead already so I’m not sure how that would work.” Seeing the disgruntled look on her captain’s face, Andrea added, “Besides, I don’t think Tima likes the violence and she’s everywhere you know.”  
  
Rolling her blue eyes at that set of remarks, Miranda moved Andrea’s hands toward the opening in the barricade. “The living room. I still want that Euphoros.”  
  
Laughing at that, Andrea squeezed the hands in hers. “We are not getting high.” Andrea scolded, though her wide smile took all the sternness out of the words.  
  
Once they were settled on the couches in the main room, Miranda looked around and then chided, “Your housekeeping skills need some work.” Preparing for her mission, Andrea had decided that she would just leave all of the things she had replicated during her panic attack. Some of it she used for the traps and the barricade, but the rest of it she thought might just confuse attackers.  
  
Curling her lip at the clutter, Andrea stood and began to gather things in her arms that they really would not need. “How is it that we can give each other a hard time and joke around now?” Dumping the lot of it into the recycling part of the Energy Bay, Andrea turned and gave a two-finger salute to her commander. “I mean I feel comfortable around you and was so glad to get back here to you.”  
  
Her head bobbing up and down, Miranda continued to ponder things out loud. “I agree. I feel playful with you, when I’ve only ever really felt antagonistic. I was so relieved you were back and happy to see you.” Andrea gathered up another pile of things to recycle. Miranda continued on, “Do you suppose it’s part of the scenario created by this Tima?”  
  
Kicking an item that fell from her arms, Andrea scowled as it then bounced further away. Turning to face her Captain, she let out a frustrated sigh. “I don’t like to think that being friendly with you is a manipulation.” Lifting one hand off her hip, she tilted her head to indicate she had another point. “I don’t want to be angry with you and question you all the time just to spite the manipulation though.”  
  
Her eyes unfocused, Miranda mulled things over for a few moments. “I can’t imagine any other way that we could have survived what happened with the Phyrochez, but I’d like to think that if we did come out of it to a place where we weren’t manipulated… Well, I’d like to think that we could become friends or at least work together better. You knew my command meant that if we were going to be taken, then we’d blow a few of them up. You took that even further and aimed the ship where it would cause the most damage.” Miranda blinked and then focused on Andrea standing tall in front of her. She let her eyes stay locked on the dark brown eyes of her officer. “I admire what you did, Andrea.”  
  
Feeling another piece of their connection solidify with those words, Andrea sat down on the other couch. “I admire that you would rather end the ship than have her taken over, and that you were going to stay on it to the end.”  
  
Reaching her hand out to Andrea, the older woman smiled as she felt their fingers intertwine. She flexed her hand a couple of times and then let it slide back to her own knee. She loathed breaking the tender moment between them, but she knew her observation was important. “Somehow manipulation or not, I don’t think Tima wants us to bond over how we admire those particular decisions.”  
  
Relaxing back into the cushions, Andrea tucked loose hair behind her ear. She figured that she looked a mess, but didn’t have any desire to fix it either. “Yeah, she seemed pretty clear on the You Were Baaad concept. I just don’t get what all this is though?” Andrea shrugged. “I mean according to the Interface, the date and time are before our firefight with the Phyrochez. Why pull us out of time and manipulate us to be friends? What’s the point? Is this our hell? No offense, but performing experimental surgery on you is not my idea of heaven.”  
  
Reclining as well, Miranda waved her hand at the brunette. “None taken. We went over that already.” Breathing in and then out, Miranda expressed her confusion as well. “We were selected out of everyone on the ship because she feels we were the most guilty of what happened.” Sitting up as she felt her thoughts going somewhere, she kept going. “If she is manipulating all of this, then every detail matters. Things are here for a reason.” Standing up, Miranda repeated, “We are here for a reason.” Looking down at Andrea, she nodded her head in victory and waved around her quarters. “We are in these quarters for a reason, Andrea. We just need to figure out what it is.”  
  
Understanding lit Andrea’s face and she smiled so much that her eyes brightened. Hopping off the couch, she returned to gathering and recycling the cluttered items with renewed energy. “Anything I’ve replicated since arriving can go.”

 

 

x


	16. Only When

_**Bent Will. Part 16/?**_  
  
Once the quarters were as Spartan as they had started, Miranda and Andrea prowled around looking for clues that could help them solve the riddle of their situation. Andrea eventually gave into her urge to pace the living room. She was unfamiliar with the Captain’s things so it seemed pointless for her to keep looking. Unfortunately nothing was ringing any bells for Miranda either. Stymied for lack of any further ideas, Miranda pulled Andrea to a stop as she paced by her. “I was pretty out of it when I first woke up. In fact, I think I woke up more than once and was just miserable.” Seeing recognition in Andrea’s brown eyes, Miranda prompted her, “What do you remember from when we first got here?”  
  
Andrea blushed and swallowed as she thought back over the beginning of this situation. “Well, I think I woke up more than once as well. I saw you with tears and refused to accept it as reality.”  
  
Miranda wondered about that beautiful blush heating up the younger woman’s cheeks, but knew she couldn’t just ask about it. “There was so much pain and I remembered the bright light of the explosion and the darkness.”  
  
Continuing through her thoughts, Andrea knew she was blushing again, but couldn’t help it. “You were upset I was in your quarters. I couldn’t imagine how we ended up together on the floor.”  
  
Knowing that the younger woman hadn’t shown any discomfort upon waking with her the last two times, Miranda wondered what about that time had been different. The Captain found herself curious and liking that she had found a new mystery to unravel.  
  
“We were kinda bitchy to each other and then I went into medical mode.” Andrea shrugged and then frowned. “I don’t see how that is helping us.”  
  
Grumbling her reluctant agreement, Miranda tried to piece those conversations together. She was certain that they could find the clue to what fueled Tima’s thought process. “Wait. How did you describe my quarters? I mean how did you differentiate my quarters from someone else’s since you had never been here. What did you say about them?”  
  
Andrea moved to where she thought she had been for that original conversation and sat down. “Well, let’s see. I looked around and thought they were your quarters. Yeah, they are too big and luxurious for anyone else.” Andrea smirked at her own cheekiness. Miranda joined her on the floor, but elected not to lay down for a full reenactment. “Oh, there!” Andrea’s voice practically squeaked. “I pointed out the scroll from the last rec stop that you showed us during the morning meeting.” Andrea pulled Miranda up and practically dragged her over to the wall hanging.  
  
 _Only when the strongest loves the weak_  
Will you find the end you seek  
  
To undo what has been done  
You will have to overcome  
  
Only when you can admit  
Will all the pieces finally fit  
  
They stood there long enough that they had each read the words four times. Neither wanted to comment, because they worried that to hear their thoughts spoken would break them. They each knew there was no way that they should be filled with any kind of hope.  
  
“Andrea, what end would you seek at this point?” Miranda shifted so that Andrea’s body pressed more completely against her back. She wanted the connection between them. She needed it to anchor her in the moment.  
  
“I’d seek an end where I’m not dead; you’re not dead; and the crew isn’t dead.” Andrea knew everything had to come back to the life and death situation they were in and the conflict with the Phyrochez, not the strange little drama paying out in small details between herself and Miranda.  
  
“Do you think that is still possible, Andrea?” Miranda turned to look into those soulful brown eyes. “Can we do what it says and undo what has been done?”  
  
Andrea’s face went through emotions like a fireworks show before she settled on wonder. “She said we are responsible for our actions and that the Phyrochez are responsible for theirs.”  
  
Miranda nodded as she recalled the parts of the walkie talkie conversation she had overheard. “She said they rarely talk to outsiders.”  
  
Andrea grabbed at Miranda’s shoulders as she squealed, “And even more rarely do they offer another chance.” Andrea hugged Miranda against her chest and then pulled away and jumped in place before hugging her again. Somewhere in the hugging and jumping cycle, brown eyes locked onto blue and both woman stood stock still. Their breath mingled in the scant space between their faces. Their brains slowed down and then sped up again.  
  
After a charged moment of silence between them, Miranda sucked in a breath of air and looked away. “That’s why she said that our people would call her a Time Changer and that we would have abused the capability.”  
  
Stepping back, Andrea looked for the safe haven of the couches. Pulling a cushion to her chest, she hugged it. “She said to come back to her when we’re ready. What does that mean?”  
  
Staring at the scroll, Miranda felt her thoughts shear off in different directions. She missed Andrea standing so close to her and wondered what was going on between them. She thought it was odd that this being would have given her a scroll before this conflict and then somehow pull them out of the battle and into this time loop. Then her thoughts aligned with her companion’s as she also contemplated what it could mean. “She clearly thought that self-destruct and aiming the ship at the planet were wrong.” Miranda turned to face the brunette. “A chance to undo what has been done would mean some kind of do-over like when children will replay a part of a game when they didn’t like how it went.”  
  
Andrea contemplated this, though she didn’t see how it could translate into action for them. “How are we to know when we are ready to go back to her for this do-over?”  
  
A few steps took Miranda into a position where she stood right at Andrea’s knees and looked down at her. “How many times do you think we woke up here, Andrea?”  
  
The pause after the question sunk in covered a rising tide of confusion and rebellion. “You think we’ve done this before?” Andrea swiftly stood up, only to find herself nose to nose with Miranda.  
  
“You asked about it before, Andrea, don’t you see? How is it that we can joke and tease when before it was all antagonism?” Miranda fought the urge to wrap her arms around Andrea. It felt like the right thing to do, even while she knew they had never interacted that way before.  
  
“You mean we’ve failed before.” Andrea’s eyes filled with tears and she pushed Miranda away from her as she stepped away from the couches. “Failed over and over?” Her voice cracked on the thought.  
  
Miranda turned as Andrea moved past her and she wrapped her arms around her from behind. Andrea tensed and then relaxed backward into her hold. Miranda was just tall enough to rest her chin on the younger woman’s shoulder. “We weren’t ready those other times, Andrea.” Miranda talked quietly into the brunette’s ear. “Maybe that’s why Tima chose the words she used this time. I don’t know. I have no idea if we have done this before, but it does explain how we’ve shifted with each other without realizing it. It would explain why we’ve been able to put the pieces together one at a time.”  
  
Andrea whimpered. “We haven’t been able to change it and they are all dead.”  
  
The motion of her chin sliding side to side against Andrea’s uniformed shoulder soothed them both. “Did you study Temporal Mechanics or just go on those daredevil crash courses?” When Andrea tried to squirm away, Miranda held her tighter. “I hate the stuff. It gives me headaches. I do remember something about the resolution of a time loop leaving the effected parties with shadow memory or no memory at all.”  
  
Warming to the discussion, Andrea tilted her head to the side to rest against Miranda’s. After several moments they shifted and brushed cheek to cheek. Andrea squeezed the hands over her abdomen and then turned within the older woman’s embrace. “Do you think that we go back to that date and time and don’t know what will happen?”  
  
Agreeing with that hypothesis, Miranda added another facet to it. “Somehow I think we are learning over time even if we don’t remember it exactly. Like how I know that it’s okay to hold you like this. There’s no way I’d be okay with this after just the amount of time we’ve been here, despite the circumstances.” Miranda smiled when Andrea smirked. “I’m wondering if we are supposed to know each other better, so that when we go back, we are able to change what we do.”  
  
Andrea pulled Miranda to sit with her on the couch. “We will have this unknown connection that allows us to advise each other and really listen. Is that part of why she chose us? I mean, if you and I can listen to each other with enough respect to re-think our actions, then we can behave differently with others like the Phyrochez?”  
  
Holding Andrea’s hand in both of hers, Miranda added her thoughts. “She said that we are only responsible for our actions and not theirs. So what could we have done differently?”  
  
The conversation flowed over their interactions with the Phyrochez and then into almost every aspect of life and interaction on board the ship for the last year. Each anecdote brought the other a deeper understanding of their companion and helped them to feel closer to this amorphous goal set by Tima.  
  
After catching Andrea falling asleep, Miranda pulled her up by their joined hands. “Let’s sleep and then go find this Tima. I would like to enjoy being close to you before I lose the memory of it again.”  
  
  


 

x


	17. That's Your Plan?

_**Bent Will. Part 17/?**_  
  
Andrea hummed and scooted closer to the warmth against her. She breathed in the familiar smell of the Captain and then blinked awake. Frozen for several moments, Andrea fluttered her long eyelashes open and closed as she catalogued every sensory detail she could from her current position. Her eyes watched the rise and fall of Miranda’s chest. Beyond that they were useless, because she was tucked under the sleeping woman’s chin and tight against her bosom. One of Andrea’s arms was tucked up against her chest in between them. Now that she was awake, it felt cramped, but she did not want to move and shatter the moment. Her other arm was under Miranda’s and dangling over her hip. Her fingers tingled to touch more of the Captain. Andrea happily noted that one of Miranda’s legs had slipped between hers, so that they were in a full body embrace.  
  
With Miranda’s arm under her neck and the other over her hip, the silver haired woman continued to breathe slowly and evenly in her sleep. Andrea closed her eyes and tried to picture the relaxed face of her Captain, the view of them tangled in each other, and the room around them.  
  
As her brain began to follow other thought patterns and related details, she recalled the precarious situation they were in with the time loop and Tima—their personal Time Changer. Angry over the manipulative situation and the potential loss of this budding connection with Miranda, the young brunette clenched her hand over Miranda’s hip into a fist. She breathed deeply in an effort to retain her calm and hold onto the joy of this moment. The scent of the Captain, usually only caught in fleeting moments of passing at a meeting or on the Bridge, filled her nostrils and her heart to over flowing.  
  
Closing her eyes and willing everything away except for sensation, Andrea nuzzled against the warm chest in front of her. When Miranda hummed in her sleep and shifted her leg further up between Andrea’s thighs, the brunette felt a jolt of arousal rocket through her body. Leaning back, she uncurled her fist and laid her palm flat on Miranda’s hip. It felt as if her palm was always meant to press there—to hold the Captain where she wanted her. Andrea let her nose rub along Miranda’s throat and chin. Whimpering in her sleep, Miranda flexed her arms and moved her leg between Andrea’s thighs once more.  
  
Miranda’s head angled down and then Andrea was nuzzling Miranda’s chin, cheek, and nose. Her lips brushed against Miranda’s skin sending a burst of new sensations to her brain. Andrea’s mouth fell open as she pulled Miranda’s hip tighter toward her body.  
  
Their lips brushed against each other once, twice, and then three times.  
  
A breathy sigh against her mouth alerted Andrea to her companion’s waking state, but neither of them stopped moving.  
  
“Andrea.” The sleepy word was question and affirmation rolled into one. Their lips brushed against each other and then held for a long second.  
  
As their motions continued, Andrea moaned lightly her only answer, “Miranda.”  
  
The spark of cognition took hold and they both fully committed to the kiss. Lips pressed and pressed against each other as hands began to caress. Lips held onto lips for long seconds before sucking and letting slip away. Teeth teased into the motion and then tongues darted out with tantalizing touches.  
  
Lost to the moment for many breaths, both women eventually pulled away to look the other in the eye. With radiant smiles and soft caresses of fingers to cheeks, they greeted each other as lovers. Neither spoke as they looked into the soul of the other’s eyes and tangled their fingers together.  
  
“I don’t want this to end.” Miranda finally admitted as she rolled back from Andrea to prop herself up on an elbow.  
  
Keeping her eyes on Miranda’s, the younger woman assured her, “It won’t. We will find each other again.”  
  
Her heart felt as though it was being squeezed. Miranda breathed deep to fight the tide of emotion threatening to overwhelm her. “How will we?”  
  
Cupping Miranda’s cheek with her fingers, Andrea smiled, “Well, I’m pretty sure that we’ll be bitchy to one another.” When Miranda sat up to force distance between them, Andrea scrambled to catch her. With one leg on each side of the silver haired woman, Andrea pulled her back against her. “I’ll bet we can activate that shadow memory, ma’am.” She smirked when Miranda huffed, but did not pull away from her embrace. “When we initially talked to the Phyrochez, you broke off communications and asked Nigel his thoughts. Maybe this time I’ll have a compelling urge to speak up and ask for options, ma’am.”  
  
Miranda turned her face to the side so that Andrea’s lips could press against her cheek. “That’s your plan? Aggravate me until I look at you?”  
  
Andrea kissed the cheek in front of her and then leaned back a bit to speak. “I can’t plan to go up and talk to you, that wouldn’t fit.” She smirked at Miranda for a moment and then shared her amusement. “Besides, the last time you wanted to punch me, everything went bright and dark and then we woke up here. Maybe if I get you to attack me earlier in the scenario that will trigger your shadow memory?”  
  
Turning in Andrea’s grasp, Miranda brought her knee up between Andrea’s legs and then crowded her until she hovered over a prone brunette. “Antagonizing me does not lend itself well to finding myself here again, Andrea.”  
  
Practically panting at the intimacy jump that the older woman had just initiated, Andrea licked her lips in subconscious anticipation. “You can’t tell me that you don’t like our fights.”  
  
Leaning down, Miranda kissed Andrea hard. She poured all of her passion, aggravation, fear, and desperation into the kiss. Andrea pulled her down on top of her and they awkwardly shifted to avoid falling to the ground. “Only if they get us back here, Andrea.” Miranda growled out her demand and caused Andrea to shake with arousal.  
  
Rolling so that she was on top, the brunette smirked down at her flushed companion. “Keep saying my name like that and the shadow memory is going to have me trying to kiss you on the bridge, ma’am.”  
  
Shaking her head at that statement, Miranda rolled her eyes, “It’s a wonder I haven’t killed you, Ensign.”  
  
Shifting to lay side by side with her bedmate, Andrea laughed, “Hopefully, the shadow memory won’t keep my demotion in rank.” With a final sweet kiss, the brunette rolled away and stood. “Come on. I’d like to resolve this time loop, so we can get started on finding each other again.”

 

 

x


	18. The Progress Remains

_**Bent Will. Part 18/?**_  
  
Stepping from her quarters into the corridor, Miranda sighed at how normal it looked. Other than the light barrier at either end of the visible walkway, it was completely ordinary. Andrea’s hand at the small of her back encouraged her to approach the glowing enigma. “Is this an illusion or did she pull part of the ship out of the wreckage?”  
  
Beside her, Andrea shrugged. “I think it is all some kind of illusion or construct. I don’t think you and I are here anymore than this part of the ship is here.”  
  
Shaking her head again, Miranda wondered. “How is that possible?”  
  
Waving her hand into the light barrier and pulling it back out, Andrea demonstrated that it was safe. “We have been here long enough to be hungry, thirsty, and need the toilet. Yet, we haven’t had any of those cravings or needs. Other than our injuries and some residual pain, we haven’t really been burdened by our normal existence. I don’t know how it is possible and I’m guessing she won’t explain.” Andrea didn’t want to give herself a headache trying to determine details that wouldn’t compute together in her mind.  
  
“No wonder you feel manipulated.” Miranda murmured as they stood in front of the light barrier. “If we haven’t had any of those needs, then the injury, pain, and healing were part of drawing us together like you suspected.”  
  
The brunette nodded, but didn’t say anything. She didn’t want to take back their budding connection, but she still didn’t like the level of manipulation being perpetrated.  
  
“If we were dropped somewhere and needed to survive, you know we would eventually find each other.” It surprised Miranda that she was less upset than the young brunette over the circumstances. She wasn’t sure what to make of that, but knew that having a better interaction between them would be better back on ship. She just hoped they could achieve their current closeness again before Andrea left the USS Hathaway.  
  
Letting out a frustrated sigh, Andrea looked up to meet Miranda’s blue eyes. “I know. It just irks me.” She waved at the light barrier and the corridor of broken ship around them. “I just don’t understand.” Tucking that runaway strand of Miranda’s soft hair behind her ear, Andrea smiled at her. “Want to step through together?”  
  
Taking the offered hand, Miranda smiled at her companion. “Yes, together.” As they stepped through she tried to pay attention to the sensations, but her brain was firmly fixed on the brunette she previously would have sworn she hated. The more she considered their interactions it seemed clear that they were fighting the similarities within themselves. If they could ever get past that friction, then it would have been likely for them to become close on their own. It remained unclear if they would have ever reached that stage without Tima’s interference. Andrea would have likely finished the current journey and moved on before they could have recognized the value of the other.  
  
“So far so good.” Andrea confirmed that this was the same corridor she had emerged into on her solo journey.  
  
“How far away you must have felt at this point.” Miranda quietly observed. “I could hear it in your voice, but had no frame of reference to understand it.”  
  
Keeping their fingers interlaced, Andrea began walking forward. “I wanted to freak out. However, that would have made it more real or something, so I fought it.”  
  
Miranda nodded as they continued forward down the glowing white hallway. “The urge to protect you practically overwhelmed me. As Captain, the safety of the crew is paramount, yet the personal desire I had to go after you… well, that was something else, something more personal.”  
  
Andrea understood completely. “I needed to get back to you and know that you were safe in the same overpowering way.” Waving her hand toward the path ahead of them, Andrea explained, “I don’t know how far I walked before I reached the large room with Tima. I hadn’t been counting my paces until it felt like I wasn’t getting anywhere.” Looking behind her, Andrea confirmed that the light barrier was following them, like a dog, just as it had the first time. “The light follows us.” She waited while Miranda looked back and stopped to stare at it in wonder. Tugging their joined hands once again, Andrea added, “On the way back, I counted, but the barrier moved out of reach several times.”  
  
Miranda looked back over her shoulder again. “No wonder you think this place is an illusion. It’s all so fluid.”  
  
Just as she finished speaking, Andrea pulled her to a stop. “Look.” She whispered.  
  
Miranda’s blue eyes took in the expanded corridor that seemed to be a large room. As her eyes swept back over the scene, she saw two regulation couches that had not been there on her first glance. Then her eyes took in the humanoid shape standing to the side of the furniture like a hostess waiting to greet guests. “Is that?” Her question went unfinished as the brunette tugged her forward.  
  
This time Andrea noted the unfocused features on the other woman and watched them carefully as they morphed. Short silver hair sprouted and then covered the alien’s head, blue humanoid eyes filled in the black reptilian eyes, the nose elongated with just the hint of a bump on the bridge, and the woman’s clothing mimicked that of the Captain as it filled the shape in. “Miranda.” The alien greeted the older woman with a blink.  
  
Miranda responded uncertainly. “Tima?” Stepping closer to Andrea, the older woman used both hands to hold Andrea’s tightly.  
  
The alien nodded back in answer, but did not speak further. It tilted its head and watched the pair of humans as if trying to discern their reactions. The Miranda Mimic examined her for several seconds before focusing on the human she had met previously. The brunette seemed much more at ease with her appearance than her Captain. “Andrea.” The short silver hair darkened to a honey blonde and lengthened down to shoulder length. Her eyes took on a golden hue. Her body and uniform even morphed to more closely match the Pilot’s own. “This is more pleasing?” The alien focused on Miranda and held her gaze steady for several moments.  
  
“It, uh, thank you. To see myself in another being seemed rather odd to me.” Miranda floundered for words, but expressed herself politely in the end.  
  
“And to you?” The alien focused on Andrea.  
  
Smiling at this conversational turn, the brunette waved her arm at their host. “You don’t quite mimic me the same and I met you previously, which eases my surprise.”  
  
Motioning toward the couches, Tima expressed her joy at their return. “Sit please. You returned quickly this time.”  
  
Sharing a look, Andrea and Miranda held a silent conversation going over their theory before sleeping. Andrea scooted forward on the couch. “Tima, how many times have we been here?”  
  
In her usual cryptic fashion, the alien replied, “The number does not matter, only the progress does.”  
  
Rubbing her palm in the small of Andrea’s back, Miranda offered, “Each time the loop is erased, only the progress remains.”  
  
Tima nodded and offered only, “As you say.”  
  
Andrea wanted to confirm their theory and find out what the conditions might be for their return to 1424 hours on date 68923.2. “When we spoke you mentioned how rare it is to get another chance. If we overcome and undo what has been done, will we save the ship and her crew?”  
  
Tima regarded the pair of humans on the other couch for many long seconds. Their sides touched where they sat close to each other, even though the couch could easily accommodate them apart. Miranda’s hand had disappeared behind Andy’s back in a way that implied intimacy and comfort. The forward position of the brunette indicated her desire to solve the problem at hand and protect the woman at her side. The fact that she had not moved away from Miranda’s proximity or touch spoke volumes. Nodding her head once, Tima answered as definitively as she ever would. “If you make all the pieces fit.”  
  
Andrea reached out and rested her hand on Miranda’s knee. She glanced at her and then returned her gaze to their alien host. “Our memory of this will be gone. It will be a test.”  
  
Smiling wide, Tima slowly brought her hand up and snapped her fingers.  
  
A split second too late to stop the moment, Andrea turned to Miranda and thought one word, ‘ma’am.’ The world at once went blindingly light and then pitched into the dark. From her imaginary position in the world and arbitrary position in time, Tima once more watched the USS Hathaway journey toward the homeworld of the Phyrochez at 1424 hours on date 68923.2. She wondered, not for the first time, if the humans would survive or whether she should have just let them fade into nothingness and destruction.

 

 

x


	19. Date and Time

_**Bent Will. Part 19/?**_  
  
Miranda blinked as she breathed in once again wondering why she felt woozy. The bridge appeared as it should, even with that brat of a Pilot on duty. Rolling her eyes, Miranda thanked the stars that she only had to look at the back of the young woman’s head. True, she was a capable enough pilot, but that didn’t excuse her from the mock innocence and pouty defiance she regularly displayed. Perhaps if she hadn’t schemed her way onto the ship, Miranda could have found some value in the girl. As it was, Miranda regularly changed her shift schedule, demanded she pilot unnecessarily around objects of interest, and train the hopeless that had expressed even the slightest interest in navigation on the pretense that in an emergency they could not have enough crew members familiar with the controls.  
  
Looking at the view screen, Miranda frowned. She could have sworn that they had already visited this system. A feeling of unease crept up the back of her spine. “Interface, what is the date and time?”  
  
The familiar tones of the computerized voice should have soothed her mind as it answered with a chirp, “It is 1424 hours on date 68923.2.” Somehow the ordinary voice of the system did not sound right to her ears.  
  
Miranda looked at the bridge officers and then her First Officer, Nigel Kipling. Surreptitiously she touched her ears trying to determine if there was something in them.  
  
Nigel raised an inquisitive brow at his Captain. “Something wrong?” He whispered the question, since he knew she did not like to be questioned on the bridge (or about her personal well-being for that matter). It would be just like her to report for duty while running a fever.  
  
“For a moment I could swear that we’ve already visited this system.” Miranda let her eyes flick back toward the screen to indicate her meaning.  
  
Frowning, Nigel shrugged. “The Phyrochez home planet looks much like the others in this arm of the galaxy. Maybe you need some time off? A couple of hours perhaps?” He knew that she would rebuff his offer, but he had always held that if offered enough times an officer would eventually take the opportunity to rest.  
  
“The Phyrochez?” Miranda turned the alien name over on her tongue tasting it for familiarity or danger. “Remind me of our contact again?”  
  
Nigel started to ask her what she was on about, but then clamped his jaw shut. One did not ask Miranda questions. It was one of the first rules on board the USS Hathaway. “The Phyrochez have denied us access to their homeworld and asked us to detour around. They implied that they will defend their borders if it comes to it.” When Miranda’s glance cut to the screen showing their advancement on the planet and then back to him, Nigel added on. “You argued that they have the dilithium that we could use on their uninhabited satellite. You told them the USS Hathaway will be assuming a geosynchronous orbit around their homeworld.”  
  
Accepting his summary of the situation with a nod, Miranda leaned back in her chair and let her palms wrap around the arms of her chair. She found herself uniquely divided in her mind. Objective driven and to hell with anyone or anything getting in her way—Miranda knew that was what people admired and hated about her. She also knew that it was why she was given the deep space missions that kept her out of central command’s hair. At the same time, something seemed to be scratching in her brain leading her to think that in this instance it was not the best approach. She wondered if this would be the time that she had met her match. Perhaps these aliens would be the first to put her in her place and demand that she back off.  
  
‘As if.’ The other part of her mind scoffed.  
  
The ship rocked with the force of a hard blast and the emergency beacon powered on. “Red alert.” Miranda called out as she stood and looked around the bridge.  
  
“Phyrochez ships materializing on three sides.” Emily called out from her position behind the Captain. “Their weapons systems are powered up and waiting.”  
  
The sound for an incoming hail rang out clearly on the bridge and Serena tapped her console as she announced, “Communication from the Phyrochez vessel.”  
  
Miranda felt the familiar routine of battle settling into her body as she immediately called out, “On screen.”  
  
A short bipedal alien appeared on screen with wiry short hair poking away from its body in all directions. The uniform of battle leathers seemed familiar to Miranda. The dark black eyes seemed to penetrate into her soul, even across the distance of their ships. “Your continued approach will result in further hostilities. You have been clearly warned to detour around our homeworld, Captain.”  
  
Narrowing her eyes at the alien’s threat, Miranda stood to her full height. “Your empty moon has a valuable resource that will help get us home. We will compensate you for the raw materials and we will not make contact with your planet. The moon is uninhabited.”  
  
Pulling the rifle from where it had been slung on his back, the alien slammed the butt of it into his deck in a show of his fury and willingness to fight this out. “It is a crucial time for our species. No one is permitted to travel within our territory during this delicate time. You have enough fuel for further travel and there are plentiful resources beyond our space.”  
  
Unable to help herself, Miranda interrupted. “The moon is uninhabited and we will not interact with any of your kind.”  
  
Hitting his rifle into the deck three times, the alien stood to its full height. “You have been warned to stay away. Any further approach will be understood as an act of war.” The being motioned across its throat and the communication ended.  
  
Physically shaking herself as she turned to her first officer, Miranda knew she was determined that they would be getting that dilithium—whether it was the easy way or the hard way. No alien was going to tell her to shove off.  
  
For several seconds they continued on their previous trajectory. Miranda settled back into her chair and watched their progress on the screen. The Phyrochez’s vessels followed their path.  
  
Then the ship rocked back and forth over and over from multiple blasts.  
  
“Nigel?” Her voice was not very loud with the red alert klaxon still going off and the general hubbub amongst the bridge officers as they shouted out status updates and checked on one another.  
  
“Ma’am, I think you should consider all of your options before we engage in a full firefight.” Andrea wasn’t sure what had caused her to jump into the conversation. She just knew that for several minutes it had been all she could do to not turn around and stare at her commanding officer and worse yet to want to get up and be closer to her. Apparently resisting those inexplicable impulses had led to her deciding to poke the dragon in the middle of a battle scenario.  
  
“Ensign Sachs.” Miranda hissed at the back of the brunette’s head—outraged that the young upstart would dare to interject at this crucial moment. It felt good to demote her, even if the new rank would not stick.  
  
“Ma’am, it is standard protocol to assess all options in a battle situation. If we stay the present course, then we will be in a firefight with a well-supplied alien race that outnumbers us and is in close proximity to their homeworld for supplies and more vessels to attack. They could be more ferocious in their defense and equipped to cause significant damage. I know you want that dilithium, ma’am, but the other captain said that there would be more sources beyond this sector of space.”  
  
Her hand clenched into a fist in her lap, Miranda nearly growled. “What options do you suggest, Ensign Sachs?”  
  
Holding up a finger to show that she was enumerating her options, the brunette quickly answered. “One—fight—possibly to the destruction of our ship and their homeworld.” She wasn’t sure why she thought of this specific result, but it came to her mind as a definite possibility in this scenario. She held up another finger to shift to her next example. “Two—detour and find a source in the next sector. Three—stop and find out why this is such a delicate time for the Phyrochez. It is possible that this ‘delicate time’ is temporary and we will be allowed in eventually.”  
  
Still wanting to smack the young woman on the side of the head, Miranda realized that Andrea was right—truthfully, that actually made her want to smack the woman harder. Physically turning away from the aggravating woman, Miranda faced her first officer. “Nigel?”  
  
Immediately putting his jaw back into working order, the balding man offered, “It’s not like we were going for R & R. We just needed convenient fuel. The next sector is largely empty and likely rich in dilithium.”  
  
Uncertain of what had just happened on her bridge, Miranda ordered, “Detour around the Phyrochez space and find another fuel source.”  
  
Andrea began to tap away at her console making adjustments to their route. The view screen shifted back towards open space instead of the Phyrochez homeworld.  
  
“Their ships have retreated further into their space.” Emily called out.  
  
Standing on wobbly legs, Miranda turned to Nigel. “You have the con.” Ignoring his gasp of surprise, she made her way to her ready room.

 

 

x


	20. We Are Not Friends

_**Bent Will. Part 20/36**_  
  
Cleared to set their course away from the Phyrochez, Pilot Andrea Sachs tapped away at her controls and refused to look around her. The events of the last several minutes had her re-thinking everything she thought she knew in the whole universe. It was too surreal to have happened anywhere outside of her dream world, yet a pinch only yielded pain and not a shift in the dreamscape. Just before the world had gone sideways, Andrea could have sworn that she had just woken up to find herself in a situation she already had been through before and didn’t like. While she was trying to make heads or tails of her unusual déjà vu, it caught her attention that the situation with the Phyrochez would rapidly sour. With the first shot that shook their ship, Andrea knew she would have to speak up. It was vivid in her mind that this would be the path to destruction.  
  
Miranda was The Captain in all-important capital letters. Her word was textbook, gospel, and history all in one. Her reputation expanded in an ever-increasing radius away from all who met her—friend, subordinate, or enemy.  
  
Andrea knew defying the warning of the Phyrochez was wrong. The echo of a self-destruct timer counted down in her mind as if it were a memory instead of a delusion. As soon as the communication channel was closed and the Captain addressed Nigel, the brunette found herself not only challenging the Captain—but antagonizing her. Everyone learned early on not to address the Captain as ma’am or even sir and yet Andrea had called her that three times in addition to challenging her course of action.  
  
She heard the Captain take her leave, but still did not dare to glance about. Instead she sent a message to Serena asking about long range scans for dilithium. If she missed out on an opportunity to re-fuel after the near-miss with the Phyrochez, then Andrea knew she could just report to the brig instead of her next shift.  
  
At length she looked around the command center. She made sure to not let her eyes linger too long on any one officer. Returning her eyes back to her console, Andrea analyzed her observations. Most of the bridge officers were focused on their screens—either scanning or reading reports and responding. The only exception was Nigel. He might have been coordinating the repair crews, or at least trying to, yet from the pensive look on his face Andrea could tell that he was concerned over their last encounter and his Captain’s behavior.  
  
Relieved that she was not the only one to notice, Andrea focused on her task as long as she could.  
  
*** *** ***  
  
When they were clear of Phyrochez space and on the way to Serena’s recommended planetoid, Andrea decided to bite the bullet. Not only did she not want to spend her evening and night worrying about the potential fallout of her actions with her Captain, Andrea could admit to herself that she mysteriously just needed to see the tough woman again. Andrea knew that she had been bothered by the events surrounding their most recent encounter with the Phyrochez, so she theorized that Miranda had been stewing as well.  
  
The Beta shift Pilot was willing to come in early on the condition that there would be a day where Andrea would stay a little later in return. Standing, the brunette smoothed her uniform down and addressed the First Officer. “I’ll see if I can update the Captain.”  
  
Nigel raised an eyebrow at this. “You could message her.” Andrea going willingly into the Captain’s lair was about as common as Miranda backing off from a mission she seemed determined to follow through to the end. Both of them behaving strangely in the same window of time raised all kinds of red flags in Nigel’s mind that he did not want to even consider.  
  
Shrugging, Andrea offered. “If I’m getting punished, I’d rather know about it.” When he just narrowed his eyes at her, she added, “It’s been hours since the encounter. Someone should check on her.”  
  
At this statement, Nigel blushed and waved her on her way. Of course someone should have checked on her. Of course they should have. As First Officer that duty should have been Nigel’s—especially when you factored in their long personal friendship. The fact was that Miranda carefully sharpened the stakes to keep people away—even those who cared about her. If Andrea wanted to risk her neck to test Miranda’s ire levels, then he was all for it—even if he also had a side portion of shame over the sentiment as well. “It’s your head.” He didn’t discourage her.  
  
*** *** ***  
  
When the door to the Captain’s Ready Room slid open with a swooshing sound, Andrea forced her eyes to stay forward as she summoned the courage to step inside. Ahead of her Andrea looked at the empty desk and wondered about the Captain’s whereabouts. Stopping in the middle of the room, the young woman turned to look all the way around the room. The Captain sat in the corner of one blue regulation couch staring off into space. The woman must have known someone was in the room, otherwise the door would have remained shut. However, it was uncertain whether Miranda knew it was her or even truly noticed another person in the room.  
  
“Why are you here?” The Captain’s disembodied voice floated over to the brunette.  
  
Andrea slowly approached the seating area where she could truly look Miranda over and assess the situation. Coming to a stop equal distance from both couches, the brunette decided that it likely didn’t matter what her answer was—her Captain seemed to be entirely too preoccupied.  
  
Shrugging, Andrea went with her initial thought instead of her drummed up reasons. “I don’t really know why I’m here. I just felt like I had to come and see you.”  
  
The intermission in their dialogue felt comfortable, instead of awkward, tension filled, or a battle of wills.  
  
Motioning toward the other couch, Miranda shifted her position on her cushion. “There is a large part of me that wants to hit you and then send you to the brig.” Miranda kept her blue eyes on the younger woman who did not flinch in reaction to her words. “I could say it would be for insolence or questioning the order of a higher officer.” She tilted her head to regard the young woman carefully. “Really it would be because you have always gotten under my skin and I’m not supposed to strike a fellow officer.”  
  
The calm, smooth tones of her Captain somehow comforted Andrea despite the content of her speech. Neither had ever been so overt regarding their situation. “I felt compelled to offer you another solution to the situation. I apologize for the way I spoke to you.” She did not add an honorific, though it was in the air between them and still a toss up between Captain and ma’am.  
  
Leaning back against the couch cushions, Miranda breathed deeply. “Why did you feel compelled to inject yourself into the conversation?” When Andrea seemed uncertain, the silver haired woman followed up with, “What about this situation called for you to step in?”  
  
Wringing her hands together, Andrea fought the urge to curl forward over her lap. “It’s going to sound stupid, but for some reason I felt like we had done that before with the Phyrochez and that it had not ended well. I had this gnawing feeling inside of me to antagonize you enough to get your attention.” Feeling that she had already exposed her inner thoughts too much, Andrea stopped her words and looked up at her commanding officer.  
  
“You felt like we had done this before?” The quiet whisper was barely audible in the room.  
  
“It doesn’t make sense.” Andrea murmured back at the older woman.  
  
“Does it make sense that I wanted and needed to listen to you?” The blue eyes of the Captain revealed just as much inner turmoil as Andrea felt within herself.  
  
Again the lull in conversation allowed them time to think and absorb the presence of each other without returning to the contest of wills that had previously defined their relationship.  
  
“What about the other part of you?” Andrea kept her gaze steady on the older woman despite feeling off-center from her own words. When Miranda blinked at her without responding, Andrea asked in a different way. “You said that part of you wanted to smack me around and throw me in the brig, even if I hadn’t really broken any rules. What about the other part of you?”  
  
Patting the cushion beneath her hand, Miranda tried to explain. “We are talking as equals. Can you sense the difference? How, no, when did that happen?” Not waiting for Andrea’s reply, Miranda continued on. “There was a moment on the bridge where my awareness shifted as if I had been somewhere else and returned. I can’t really explain it, but I looked at the planet on the view screen and knew I had seen it before. Then you were speaking to me and I wanted to hear what you had to say. I was riled up when you called me ma’am, yet at the same time I felt as if you had used it before as a way of focusing me.” Miranda leaned forward so that she was closer to Andrea on the other couch. “We are not friends. I do not understand what is happening. I am certain that we avoided a fight that could have ended us.”  
  
Andrea had no answers for the silver haired Captain, though it did her mind a world of good to know that she was not the only one feeling a phantom connection and déjà vu. “I find that I’d like to see if we could be friends.”  
  
Miranda slowly smiled in a way that lit her eyes up. “You’ve had worse ideas.”  
  
Standing, Andrea smoothed her uniform down. “I sure have, ma’am.”  
  
Narrowing her eyes at the cheeky young woman, Miranda threw back, “I could still smack you around.”  
  
Andrea laughed easily as she moved toward the door of the Captain’s Ready Room. “That you could.” Looking back to soak in Miranda’s reluctant smile, Andrea added, “We are 27 hours away from a planetoid Serena identified as dilithium rich.”  
  
On her feet and crossing the room to her desk, Miranda waved her fingers in a dismissive gesture. “Don’t push your luck, Andrea. We’re not friends yet. Now get out of here.”

 

 

x


	21. Memories

_**Bent Will. Part 21/36**_  
  
Standing at the Energy Bay, Andrea wondered, ‘What am I doing here?’ to herself as she requested the usual glasses of water for the meeting. Sitting at her console for the majority of her shift each day, the young pilot found herself restless in staff meetings during her off time. It came as a surprise to herself when she got ready early and walked into the empty conference room. Even as she placed a glass of water at each of the usual spots, the young woman still couldn’t figure out her motivation for arriving early.  
  
The door slid open with a tell-tale swoosh. The Captain paused upon seeing her pilot and then continued into the room. “Thank you, Andrea.”  
  
This time Andrea noticed that her name flowed easily from Miranda’s lips. She smiled at that. She also inwardly cursed herself as she realized her reason for arriving early—a few moments alone in the woman’s presence. “You’re welcome, Miranda.” She also noted that Miranda’s name didn’t quite snag as much as it had during the previous week and she took it as a victory.  
  
“I keep thinking about the Phyrochez.” Not needing to prepare the waters for the others, Miranda stood at the small window looking out into space.  
  
Checking the time quickly, Andrea moved to stand next to the Captain. Looking at her profile wasn’t as good as looking at her face, but it would do. Andrea wasn’t sure why she had picked up this strange need to be close to the Captain, but she tried to find unobtrusive ways to get her fix. So far the Captain hadn’t noticed or hadn’t minded. Andrea found that as much as she feared the answer—she wanted to understand her impulses anyway. “Despite my protest on the Bridge, I hope that you know I would have supported whatever decision you made, ma’am.”  
  
With a low chuckle, Miranda turned her head to look at the cheeky brunette. “I could still hit you, you know?” Andrea’s smile faltered as she felt another flash of déjà vu. “What is it, Andrea?” Miranda caught the shift in her companion and turned her whole body to face the younger woman.  
  
“I feel like we had this conversation before and I don’t mean last week in your Ready Room.” Andrea looked at Miranda to search her eyes for any flicker of understanding.  
  
Her voice low and tentative, Miranda asked, “What would you have done if I ordered us to continue?”  
  
Shrugging, the younger woman sighed out her reply, “I would have continued evasive maneuvers and angled for targets, until we won or—” She lifted her hand up and then let it slap against her thigh not wanting to finish the thought out loud.  
  
“Self-destruct.” Miranda’s blue eyes widened as she felt something click into place in her mind. “If we were losing, then I would order a self-destruct. You knew that, didn’t you?” Miranda reached up and rested her hand on Andrea’s shoulder to anchor herself in the present moment. When the brunette nodded, Miranda replicated her head bob. “You would have aimed the ship at their homeworld rather than be taken alive.”  
  
Soaking in her Captain’s presence and touch, Andrea could only murmur, “Sounds like something I would have done as a last resort.”  
  
Miranda realized where her hand had gone and opted to retreat with a pat and then a move away. “Is it just me or do these flashes feel like memories instead of just considering options?”  
  
Stepping back, like her commander had done, Andrea admitted, “They feel like memories of something that didn’t happen.”  
  
Miranda’s eyes widened again, “That’s it.” She enthused. “They are memories that didn’t happen this time.” Her emphasis on the last two words drew a gasp out of Andrea and she caught on.  
  
The door swooshed open to end their conversation and admit Emily and Serena. Quickly, Andrea moved toward her usual seat on the far end of the table. Miranda turned to look out the window once again with her mind now spinning in even more directions. The door swooshed open again and again to let in the rest of the senior staff.  
  
*** *** ***  
  
All of the usual business taken care of—security updates, repair estimates, fuel consumption concerns, the use of rations versus real food—they were able to discuss requests and recommendations from the crew. With all of the ‘pilots’ Miranda had Andrea train there was a request to use their skills, have a competition, and make the most of this quiet and uninhabited area of space.  
  
“We only have two shuttles.” Miranda stated firmly as a reminder.  
  
Malcom, their chief engineer, and the one who had brought the request forward chimed in. “It would be a timed competition with teams completing puzzles or challenges on the moons around our dilithium planetoid.”  
  
Eyebrow ready to climb, Miranda followed up with, “You want to run a timed obstacle course using our shuttles.”  
  
Others had begun talking about the merit of the idea and challenges they’d like to see used. Miranda alternately looked at her first officer and her chief of engineering.  
  
“Why not use the Holodeck and set up viewing in the forward lounge?” Andrea’s voice cut through the chatter easily and all eyes turned to her. Blushing, she shrugged. The attention was the main reason she didn’t speak unless spoken to in the staff meetings. “You could run as many simultaneous shuttles as you want and everyone could see the action up close for the challenges.”  
  
Miranda wondered what Andrea wasn’t saying. She had accepted these feelings of ‘knowing’ or ‘remembering,’ yet she still found them disturbing. It seemed like Andrea had more to say, or rather a deeper reason for her suggestion of altering the circumstances of the event.  
  
“The pilots need real hands on experience doing the real work in space, not in a simulation.” Malcom pushed back knowing that experience really doing something made all the difference in problems like the ones they encountered in his department.  
  
“The shuttles need to be used so that we keep them in good condition.” Nigel leaned forward pressing his fingertips together in front of him as he moved. “While we are near a dilithium source—we would be able to have fuel and afford the energy to replicate parts if needed.”  
  
Flashing a look around the table, Miranda paused when her eyes landed on Andrea. The young woman had a smooth face of concentration that Miranda could not read. ‘Perhaps she is thinking of our ‘memory’ conversation again.’ The Captain saw no reason to not have the competition—hands on navigation practice would be good, nothing was certain in space and they might need to know who their next best pilots were, and it would be entertaining. “Nigel, you seem very interested in this.” He nodded at her with a smile. “You set it up and figure out a way to have each team with a video feed for the challenges.” Miranda pointed down the table toward Andrea, “I like your idea of having it on screen in the lounge.” Looking around quickly, Miranda used her signature end of the meeting comment, “Now if there’s nothing else?” When no one spoke up, the Captain added, “Dismissed.”  
  


 

 

x


	22. Escape Pod 104

_**Bent Will. Part 22/36** _

  
The crew began to sign up for their teams and the general buzz on board the ship practically had the whole vessel vibrating. Holodecks were running all hours as the lesser-trained pilots practiced. More than one minor scuffle broke out in the mess hall over competitive ribbing taken one phrase too far. Suggestions for challenges and obstacles flooded Nigel’s communications flow and he had brought in Emily and Serena to help him sort through it all and plan the route the teams would need to take. Andrea answered questions when they had them and emphasized safety every chance she could work it into the conversation. They had taken to asking Kate Jasper, the beta shift pilot, since she was more enthusiastic about the competition.  
  
Unknown to her fellow crewmembers, Andrea was haunted by waking memories and sleeping nightmares of similar courses in her past. In order to counteract the craziness that these thoughts inspired, Andrea hid herself down in the belly of the ship during her off hours. She visited Medical more in the ensuing week than she had in the entire year previous—collecting what supplies she could and nicking other items when the doc was distracted. She had read more medical and engineering texts than she had ever read as a cadet.  
  
Her mind kept running over and over all the different ways that things could go wrong.  
  
_Equipment failure._  
Crash damage.  
Interference from an ion storm.  
Lack of supplies.  
Unforeseen aliens.  
Basic injury and flat out panic.  
Atmospheric conditions on the asteroids.  
Geological challenges not taken into account.  
  
She knew that her worry was over the top, but she chose to understand it as letting everyone have their fun, while taking their emergency response capabilities to a whole new level. In trying to put a positive spin on it, she even thought that she could turn this into an escape pod emergency kit that she could sell to others on the competition market. It would be cheap enough for the crews that sign up for such events, but small enough, light enough, and just too fantastic to pass up for their small vessels.  
  
*** *** ***  
  
On the day of the race, the excitement was palpable everywhere on the ship. Andrea, Miranda, Emily and Serena were left on the bridge to monitor the USS Hathaway, while everyone else was either in the lounge isolated as a team in a holodeck, or in their shuttles tackling the challenges. As the event’s MC, Nigel was posted in the forward lounge reveling in the excitement of the crowd.  
  
Throughout their shift, Miranda called for updates on the various teams’ progress and current standings with time. Serena had noted an ion storm forming closer to the planetoid’s sun, but progressing leisurely toward their position. They had updated each of the teams and Nigel so that they could all monitor the storm’s progress throughout the competition. From her position behind Andrea, the Captain could tell that the younger woman was on edge. Her posture was fairly rigid. She tilted her head to listen for updates. The really telling thing for Miranda was the zoom view on half of Andrea’s work screen, which showed each of the obstacle locations and a position tracker of each shuttle. That level of tracking, while both ships were functional and they were in empty space, caught Miranda’s attention. Not for the last time, she wondered what else Andrea knew or ‘remembered’ and whether or not it had anything to do with this event.  
  
The fifth pair of pilots had just lifted off from the planetoid’s surface, when Serena gasped at her screen. “Captain, the storm’s velocity and intensity have dramatically increased. It will now intercept our position in approximately 25 minutes. The data is pinging with category 6 matches.”  
  
Miranda immediately instructed the Interface to update the pilots and Nigel. “This is the Captain. The ion storm looks to have increased to a category 6 and will intercept our position in less than 25 minutes. Please head back to the USS Hathaway now.”  
  
At her console Andrea zoomed out to pick up the storm data that Serena had been tracking. Noticing an overlap with the farthest shuttle, Andrea swore. Standing she hit her com badge and willed herself into action. “Interface, Emergency Transport of Andrea Sachs to Pod 104 immediately.”  
  
The com channel chirped to life, “This is Second Lieutenant Sparks on the Cassidy Shuttle, we are heading back to the ship. ETA 12 minutes.”  
  
Serena’s voice remained calm as she replied, “Acknowledged. Hangar Bay One will be your destination.”  
  
Miranda stood as her pilot shimmered into nothingness. “Interface, call Lieutenant Kate Jasper and Commander Nigel Kipling to the bridge.” They needed a pilot and the first officer in what seemed to be a fast-evolving emergency scenario. The USS Hathaway could weather a category six, but Serena had noted increasing intensity that could cause them trouble. The smaller shuttles had nowhere near that kind of resistance to the pressures of the storm. Looking down at Andrea’s screen, Miranda felt all the blood drain from her face as she saw the intersection of the storm and their second shuttlecraft.  
  
The com channel burst to life once more with a shower of static and then panicked voices. “Interference with navigation and sensors. Attempting to land.” The message was repeated more than once before the distressing words and the static were no more.  
  
“Interface, who is on board the Caroline Shuttle?” Miranda hoped that her voice would not waver when she needed all the strength she could get.  
  
“Second Lieutenant Christopher Parks, Ensign Deirdre Perez, and Ensign Stefano Orella are on board the Caroline Shuttle at this time.” Miranda placed each name with a face in her memory bank and hoped that they were close enough to the asteroid to properly take shelter. “The emergency beacon on the Caroline Shuttle has been activated.”  
  
Nigel rushed through the door just seconds after Kate took her position. Off balance from hitting the panel, he rushed to stand next to the Captain. The silence on the bridge felt like a vise grip on his heart. As he caught his breath, he dared to look around at the crew already returned to their stations and those still missing. Noting the presence of Kate’s red hair and profile, Nigel was about to ask after Andrea, when the Interface cut off his thoughts.  
  
“Emergency Pod launched from the lower level.” The cool, calm voice of the Interface did nothing to assuage Miranda’s frayed nerves.  
  
“Interface, recall all shift personnel to their positions.” Miranda turned to Serena and continued to give orders, “Track both shuttles. Set a crew to meet the Cassidy Shuttle. Pull up the data from Andrea’s screen.” Once the computerized voice had spoken to the entire ship, Miranda asked it a new question, “Interface, which pod was launched and who was aboard it?”  
  
The voice of the Interface sent a chill up Miranda’s spine. “Escape Pod 104 was launched with Lieutenant Andrea Sachs aboard.”  
  
“Interface, where is that pod going?” Miranda growled out her question as a feeling of dread settled in her stomach.  
  
“Unable to answer. The Emergency Pod is not following its programming.” At this response from the Interface, Miranda turned to Nigel and then Serena and Emily who were frantically whispering and tapping the Science station’s screen.  
  
“Captain, it appears to be navigating around the larger asteroids as a shield to get to the Caroline Shuttle.” Serena’s voice indicated her disbelief and awe. “Its progress is on screen.” She tapped the final command into the console to send it up to the viewscreen.  
  
“Magnify.” Miranda actually stepped forward as she took in the ion storm’s glory and the unusual looking escape pod that had just launched from her ship. “That does not look like one of our pods.” The curious fury in her voice gave everyone on the bridge something to focus on instead of the mounting panic.  
  
“Andrea is in that pod?” Nigel asked in an effort to catch up. “She rigged it like a storm beacon from the Constitution class ships.” The First Officer rubbed his palm against his bald head in wonder.  
  
“Captain, the Cassidy Shuttle has safely landed. The storm is picking up velocity and intensity. I would recommend retreating. We cannot reach the Caroline Shuttle or Escape Pod 104 until the storm passes.” Serena’s voice was calm and even, though her insides were churning like the storm over the consequences that her advice brought the USS Hathaway and the crew.  
  
Miranda returned to her chair, the rocking of the ship continuing to worsen. Nigel settled into his chair as well, while he continued to track the Escape Pod’s progress on the screen. Miranda looked over the information on her screen quickly, since she knew that time was of the essence. “Jasper take us out of the storm’s course back the way we came.” Pinching the bridge of her nose to ward off the headache, Miranda called back to her communications officer. “Charlton, see if we can communicate with either the shuttle or the pod. If not—send a repeating update of our position and ETA on coming back for them.”

 

 

x


	23. Anyone in There?

_**Bent Will. Part 23/36**_  
  
Focused entirely on the mini-navigation system she installed in the Pod, Andrea wondered at her propensity for becoming involved in scenarios that called into question her intelligence and/or sanity. Then smiling to herself she recalled pushing her way onto the USS Hathaway and surviving Captain Priestly for the better part of a year and what was turning into a rather long journey. She had to be doing something right. Unfortunately, she then remembered that no sane person would challenge Miranda Priestly, let alone make a career out of it as she had the past year. “I am crazy.” Andrea admitted to herself. “She’ll put me in a medical coma for the trip back and call it a day.”  
  
Based on the wild dips and drops of the Pod each time she emerged from behind an asteroid or other astral body, Andrea knew that the storm had really kicked it up a notch. If she had waited any longer then there would have been no way for her to reach the moon that the Caroline Shuttle had landed on. She just hoped that they were able to touch down before it got too bad.  
  
“Shuttle Caroline, Escape Pod 104, this is Emily Charlton from the USS Hathaway. We are retreating out of the storm’s path. It is at least a category 7 at this point. Once it passes through, then we will come get you. Current estimate is approximately 3.5 hours.” Emily’s voice sounded like tin on the cobbled together communications system Andrea had made from found parts and a few replicated items. Thankfully, the message was on a loop since it took the brunette six times to hear all of because of the storm’s interference. However, it gave her a time frame to focus on once she landed near the emergency beacon.  
  
The anticipated rough landing would have been worse without the storm plating and additional safety straps Andrea had bolted in. It took her a few breathless minutes to put her facemask in place and open the pod. The atmosphere was not harmful to her uniform or skin, but not oxygen-rich enough to support free breathing. Grabbing her first aid case, Andrea carefully climbed out of the pod and closed the opening. Rushing over to the shuttle, Andrea frowned when there was no proximity alarm or other indication of activity from the shuttle or its inhabitants. Pounding on the shuttle door, Andrea shouted, “Anyone in there? Shuttle Caroline? This is Lieutenant Andy Sachs.”  
  
Inside there seemed to be some rummaging around, but the shuttle door did not open. “Sachs? What are you doing here?” It was Christopher’s gruff voice coming from the other side.  
  
“I knew there would be trouble, so I planned ahead.” Andrea hoped that she wouldn’t have to tell the whole story while standing outside. The winds were whipping up and she knew they were lucky that was all the storm had dished out on this side of the moon—at least so far. “As soon as your beacon went off, I came to help you.”  
  
There was silence on the other side of the panel, and then some muffled arguing. “Rough landing, Sachs. The control for the door is jammed.” This time it was Stefano speaking. “Is the Hathaway here?” His voice cracked with hope.  
  
Andrea frowned at this report of information. She had barely had time to look over the schematics of the shuttles. She had been more concerned with emergency medical procedures and outfitting the pod against circumstances, than thinking about the shuttles. People were often time sensitive commodities and shuttles could be repaired when there was time. Andrea frowned as her thoughts organized themselves. ‘Why did I think of people as time sensitive? What does that even mean?’ Shaking her head to get back to the present situation, Andrea called back, “No the Hathaway had to take shelter. It’s a seven now.” Stepping back from the shuttle, Andrea tried to call up the schematics in her mind. There had to be a way to work on the shuttles no matter their condition. If she could find a maintenance hatch or other access point, then she could get inside. “Stefano and Chris, right? Are you injured? Where’s Deirdre?” Andrea went around the shuttle taking in the landing area, looking for damage, and trying to spot her way in.  
  
“We are mostly alright, but Deirdre was up front when we hit.” He paused as he considered his words. Andrea gasped as she took in the front of the shuttle and recalled that Deirdre had been her pilot in training for this competition team. “She’s bad, Sachs. Chris is doing what he can to make her comfortable.”  
  
Looking at her medical case and the bent side of the shuttle, Andrea frowned. Her most likely access point would be on top of the shuttle; however, she couldn’t climb and carry the case. Bending down, Andrea opened the case. “What kind of injury, Stefano?” Patting down her outfit, Andrea scowled because she had tried to think of everything, but now she was encountering a detail she had still missed. The case should have been a pack with straps. Realizing that the oxygen tank was held to her back with a small pack, Andrea slipped it off. Shoving the most likely supplies that would not be on board the shuttle already, Andrea used medical tape to strap the oxygen tank to the make shift medi-pack.  
  
“Something beyond the first-aid kit diagnostic. We healed the superficial wounds, but she seems to have a concussion and her breathing is labored. Maybe a collapsed lung?” The sadness in Stefano’s voice let Andrea know how bad he truly thought the situation was. “We don’t have any pain killers for her, Sachs.”  
  
Climbing the busted up front of the shuttlecraft was difficult. Andrea slipped more than once and cut her hand on a sharp metal edge. “I have a few things, if I can get to the access on the roof.” Andrea called out to him as she wiped her bloody palm against her pant leg. She didn’t have time to tend to it now, but she didn’t know if it would interfere with her climbing. “Did you get the message from the Hathaway?”  
  
Stefano didn’t respond right away. “The com system is down. The storm took it right after it took the navigation sensors off line.”  
  
Lifting herself to the top of the shuttle, Andrea looked back over the edge to her abandoned case. She hoped that they didn’t need anything out of it. Glancing at her palm again, she frowned and wiped it on her pant leg. “I’m on the roof. Once I pull the maintenance access panel, you should be able to detect a weakness in the lining and other materials on the ceiling. Hopefully we don’t have to damage too much for me to get in.” Andrea bent down to search for the concealed panel.  
  
Stefano heard the panel open to let in the storm sounds before he could detect a shift in the light. He moved closer and looked for a way for him to reach the ceiling. Eventually he pulled out the cases for the emergency shelters and stood on them. Briefly he wondered if he should be setting them up instead of helping Sachs break in. With a shake of his head he realized that two things made this a dumb idea: they couldn’t open the shuttle door and the shelters could not withstand the ion storm. “Will you be able to close the panel when you come in, Sachs?” He used his duty knife to slice open the paneling. “Watch it. I don’t want to cut your fingers off.” He pulled back when he saw blood on the fabric. “Are you alright?”  
  
Andrea let him finish cutting the opening before reaching her hand forward again. “I cut my hand climbing, don’t worry about it. Yeah, I can close the panel. There’s a handle on the inside.” Taking off her pack and face-mask, she thrust them through the hole. “Hop down quick!” She called out to him as she slipped her feet through the hole.  
  
The containers he was on rattled as he jumped off them, but they stayed put. Stefano nearly dropped the small pack and oxygen tank when the brunette swung through and slammed the access panel shut like some kind of acrobat. She hung for a few moments before dropping down next to the cases on steady feet. “Where’d you learn that, Sachs?” He shook his head as she wheezed for breath.  
  
Rolling her eyes at him, Andrea looked around her. The banged up front of the shuttle where she had climbed seemed to be bent not broken. Stefano looked all right, if a little startled. At the far end of the shuttle Deirdre looked awful in Christopher’s arms. As she looked around her, she noticed the emergency shelters that all shuttles were equipped with. Sighing, she thought that perhaps there should be better emergency supplies. A tent wouldn’t do much for a punctured lung. “Right.” Andrea nodded to herself as she made her way toward her new patient.

 

 

x


	24. Survivalist

_**Bent Will. Part 24/36.**_  
  
Ensign Orella could not believe his eyes. They had crash-landed on an asteroid after the ion storm had taken out their navigation and communication systems. Their pilot was in serious medical trouble and they had neither the supplies nor the training they would need to help her. Out of nowhere the best pilot on the USS Hathaway swung into the shuttle like a creature of myth, not only bringing her pilot’s knowledge, but apparently a hitherto unknown reserve of medical and shuttle craft knowledge. When Stefano saw Andrea’s bloodied hand reaching towards him for her bag, he jolted forward. “You can’t treat her with that bloody hand, Sachs.” He scolded her, even as he let her take the bag from him.  
  
Pulling out the diagnostic tool, Andrea switched it to her left hand. “Fine, you treat my hand, while I use this. Then I can help her.” She fixed him with a look that let him know that would be her only concession. She didn’t wait for him as she held the device out over Deirdre’s head and then scanned slowly down and side to side over her head, neck, shoulders, and chest.  
  
Stefano quickly jumped into action with the shuttle’s simple dermal regenerator. As soon as the skin looked fresh, he grabbed her hand with a disinfectant wipe and got off all the blood he could see. “There.” He murmured, even though he knew she had ceased to acknowledge his presence.  
  
“Deirdre, you probably can’t hear me, but I’m going to talk to you anyway.” Andrea switched her diagnostic tool for the headband specifically designed for cranial trauma. “For the concussion, I’m going to put the headband on and let it go to work.” Andrea bit her lip as she lowered the headband carefully into place and activated the pulses that would keep it in position. Christopher moved with her in order to support Deirdre and not dislodge the device. Deirdre moaned as they moved her slightly, but did not open her eyes or otherwise react. Chris looked over Andrea’s shoulder at Stefano in wonder. From the look in the Ensign’s eyes, he knew that neither of them could believe what was happening.  
  
Andrea focused completely on the device as the headband blinked into life—its screen flashing an intricate series of commands that she hadn’t had the time to fully digest. At the time, she had figured knowing the complete screen code would suffice. She only hoped that she was right—there was no reference manual now. Finally taking in the presence of Christopher and Stefano again, Andrea waved at their patient. “When it has repaired all the damage it will show four solid green bars.”  
  
Licking his lips, Stefano asked, “What else can we do for her?”  
  
Andrea carefully looked her patient and environment over before sighing. “Is the replicator working? Can you get any anesthetics from it at all?” Andrea remembered that he had said there were no painkillers.  
  
Stefano shook his head. “I couldn’t get any pain killers, sedatives, or anesthetics. I even requested some of those surface creams that just numb the skin and nothing.”  
  
Andrea saw the scene of their next steps unfolding in her head and didn’t like the images. “I saw the emergency shelters. Are there emergency blankets or bedrolls? We need to lay her down eventually.” When Stefano dashed to the cupboards mid-ship, Andrea continued on. “You fixed her ribs, but couldn’t detect the puncture to her lung. We are going to have to drain the fluid and re-inflate the lung.”  
  
Christopher sputtered, “But you can’t cut her without pain medication!”  
  
Having learned in the last year to choose her battles and her words wisely, Andrea fixed her eyes on the Second Lieutenant. “You can hear her breathing from where you are.” She paused to emphasize the sounds of their collective breathing in the small craft. “How long do you think she can last breathing that way?” She waited again when he set his jaw in a show of defiance. “The headband is fixing the concussion in her brain. It might be able to fight off the effects of a stroke.” Andrea sat back on her heels as if retreating. “What it won’t be able to save her from is brain damage or death from lack of oxygen in her system.” While Christopher listened to Deirdre’s breathing and Andrea appeared to have backed off, Stefano just watched the scene with the blankets clutched in his hands. “The Hathaway retreated from the storm and did not anticipate coming for us for at least 3.5 hours. I’m guessing that would really be closer to 4 hours by the time they were actually here and ready to help. Do you think she will last that long? Do you think her brain can wait that long? What if conditions worsen and they can’t come for us?”  
  
Stefano shifted his weight silently from foot to foot. Their Captain was a force to be reckoned with, but the little dragon breathing unexpected fire from the body of Andrea Sachs would certainly rival the Captain—at least for his money. He supposed that was another reason why the two never got along.  
  
Chris fought the urge to squeeze Deirdre tight to his body. He did not want to lose anyone under his command, even if they weren’t really assigned together for their ship’s duties. “Explain what you are going to do before you even think of moving.” He growled out in an effort to protect Deirdre and still not admit the brunette was right.  
  
“I’m going to gather what we need to do this field surgery and Stefano is going to help me, since he knows the shuttle’s contents. I’m going to drug her with Euphoros, since we don’t have anything else available. While that takes effect, you and Stefano will lay her down on a makeshift bed from the blankets. Then I’m going to make an incision, insert a drain, and tape it up. Once we have drained the fluid, then we will have to re-inflate the lung. I think you have an air pump in the maintenance kit for the shuttle.” Andrea didn’t stop speaking even when Christopher opened his mouth in protest. She needed to get the complete plan out before discussing it.  
  
“Where are you going to get the Euphoros? Are you an addict, Sachs?” Christopher hissed at her and waved his free arm around the shuttle they were in.  
  
“Did they have those race courses you could compete in when you were in the academy, hmmm?” When his eyes grew wide, she knew she had his full attention. She fake smiled at him like the Captain often did to other alien species on the view screen. “No, you’re too young. They closed the homeworld ones down and now you have to go to Beta Quadrant to compete in them. Do you know why they closed them? Not safe enough.” She let his brain whirl with information, questions, and forming theories. “I’m not an addict. I’m just the only person on the Hathaway that could foresee the dangers.” Her tone was flat though her words managed to be condescending at the same time. “Call me a survivalist. How else did I get an escape pod to your location during a level 7 ion storm while bringing advanced first aid supplies?” She motioned at the headband working on Deirdre’s brain as an obvious example.  
  
Christopher spluttered behind Ensign Perez, but couldn’t form sentences. He looked to Stefano for help. The younger fellow shook his head at Chris to put him off that idea. “Don’t look at me, man. Sounds like she is a little crazy, but knows her shit.” He set the blankets down by Andrea’s knees. He asked her, “What do you need?”  
  
Andrea shifted so that she was sitting opposite Stefano in the narrow space. “Get the Euphoros. We’ll give her one dose and see if that’s enough.” Andrea let her hand drop to where her legs were tucked under her and she touched the phaser strapped to her calf. She hoped she wouldn’t need it.  
  
“Wow. You put it in those easy dose things.” Stefano looked at the brunette again, his regard for her continuing to go up. He pulled Deirdre’s arm up slightly and lifted her sleeve. Then he applied the dose to her arm just like he’d seen the doctor and his mom do so many times before.  
  
“Hand me the bag.” Andrea held her hand out so that Stefano could lift it over their patient. “I have the tape, the tubing, and a scalpel. I don’t know if it’s the exact right one, but it’s better than a phaser.” Andrea let one corner of her mouth curl up as she looked at Stefano. He seemed to grasp the severity of the situation, even if he thought her some kind of fanatic. “We will need something to catch the liquid as it drains from her—a bag, bottle, or tub.”  
  
Snapping his fingers, Stefano hopped up. “The rations bags should do the trick and there are a handful of them on every shuttle.”  
  
Andrea exhaled wholly, now satisfied that they had what they needed to really help Deirdre. “I’ll unroll the bed rolls and begin to slide them underneath her. You’ll need to wriggle up her body and then help to settle her on the blankets.” Andrea looked at Christopher to see if he would cooperate or not. When he nodded at her instead of speaking, she knew that he would watch her like a hawk, but not further impede her progress. “There are five here, so fold this one into a pillow for her.” Andrea handed over the extra and then pulled off one more blanket as Stefano returned. “Here put this one to the side so we can put it over her afterwards.”  
  
The trio worked together for long minutes until their patient was laid out on the bed of blankets. “How do we know if that was enough Euphoros to dull her pain?” Christopher asked quietly.  
  
“Watch her face and hold the hand on that side. You’ll be able to tell if the drug is diverting the pain from the brain and emphasizing positive sensations. In fact, Stefano, come on this side and hold her hand. It would be good for both of you to stroke her fingers and face in order to provide sensations that the drug and her brain can use to camouflage the pain. If you see her in pain, tell me and I will stop. Stefano, you have the other doses. If that happens, then you’ll need to give her another one.”

 

 

x


	25. The Path is Clear

_**Bent Will. Part 25/36.**_  
  
Miranda eventually moved into her ready room. For the Captain, watching the time countdown until they could go after the troubled Shuttle Caroline and the rogue Escape Pod 104 was torture. Hundreds of scenarios rushed through her mind as she paced and growled at her bridge officers. Luckily they were used to most of her moods and they kept their heads low as they monitored the storm, tried to contact the shuttle or the pod, and worked on repairing the minor damage the USS Hathaway and Shuttle Cassidy had sustained.  
  
Her inexplicable connection to Andrea had revealed a new facet of protection within the Captain that threatened to suffocate her as she replayed her memory of the Escape Pod’s progress from one astral body to the next as it braved the storm to reach the shuttle.  
  
“Captain, the storm has cleared and we have a path to the Shuttle Caroline and Escape Pod 104. Do you wish to proceed?” Nigel’s voice carried to her through the Interface and she stopped pacing and turned toward the door.  
  
“If the path is clear, then proceed with all speed.” Miranda called back as she reached the door and stepped onto the bridge. The viewscreen showed the same clear space it had during the races before the ion storm had passed through. “Have we had any communications from either craft?” Miranda settled into her seat with a nod at her First Officer.  
  
“The emergency beacon on the shuttle is still broadcasting and the escape pod’s standard pulse is sending out coordinates. No other communication has been picked up.” Emily kept her voice calm.  
  
“Keep trying to contact them.” Miranda paused and then asked, “How soon until we can scan for life signs? The atmosphere is harmless, but not enough oxygen to sustain humans, right?”  
  
Serena answered this time. “We will be close enough to pick up life signs in seven minutes, Captain. Everyone was sent with facemasks and oxygen tanks for the challenge course.”  
  
Covering her urge to pace, the Captain stood and circled around to look at Serena’s screen. “Is there any way to tell what Andrea had in that escape pod?”  
  
Nigel turned his seat around to look up at the Captain. “Despite the imperfections you’ve noticed in Lieutenant Sachs’s performance, she does have a good head on her shoulders. If she equipped that pod with storm pod plating then I’m sure she has an oxy tank.”  
  
Miranda locked her blue eyes on her First Officer and blinked slowly. Everyone else on the bridge bent their heads to concentrate on their screens instead of the standoff sure to happen now between their commanding officers.  
  
“Four lives are in the balance.” Miranda used her lowest volume and coldest tone for her reply.  
  
Nigel sat up straight in his chair. Something had changed in his Captain and he had yet to put his finger on what exactly had happened. However, this reaction seemed to be giving him quite the clue. He knew she was concerned about all of her crewmembers, but it wasn’t until his cavalier remark about Andrea, that she had fixed him with her patented death look. “They are all well-trained officers, Captain, and we will be there in minutes.”  
  
Miranda held his gaze for many tense seconds, but then looked down at Serena’s screen. “There. Is that the shuttle?”  
  
Serena tapped a few controls and zoomed her screen in further. “Four life signs aboard the Shuttle Caroline.” She swiped the screen and pointed. “The escape pod is there.” Then she pulled the screen back to the shuttle.  
  
“Nigel, take the doctor.” Miranda paused and looked at her officers. “Emily and Serena, you go as well. Bring them back as soon as possible.” When they chorused their responses and departed, Miranda focused on the back of Kate Jasper’s head. “Keep us in this position, Kate. I don’t want any interference.”  
  
“Aye, Captain. Should I call anyone up here?” Kate did not turn away from her controls to engage the Captain.  
  
Tapping on Serena’s screen, Miranda considered the offer. “No, I’ll monitor from here. You pilot. If we need to, then we can call Jocelyn, but I am hoping it doesn’t come to that.”  
  
Kate nodded to herself. The Captain sounded more reasonable now that progress was being made on retrieving their wayward crewmates. It was also good for her to be busy with monitoring, instead of sitting and stewing or pacing behind the pilot’s station. “Aye, Captain.”  
  
Miranda looked up as she caught the slightest tone of amusement from the second pilot. ‘At least it wasn’t another ma’am,’ she thought to herself and then frowned at her own reaction. That horrible, defiant, reckless, brunette pilot was wreaking havoc on her reactions and emotions.  
  
*** *** ***  
  
Miranda had settled down into her chair once everyone had been beamed aboard. The shuttle and the escape pod were still down on the surface, but the people were all accounted for, so she could relax a bit. The doctor had commandeered the entire group to Medical instead of returning to the regular transport pad and then going from there. Nigel had sent Emily and Serena back to the bridge immediately. Then he had reported the doctor’s initial findings before he returned to the bridge as well. He knew Miranda wouldn’t truly rest easy until she had seen all of them with her own eyes. Besides he didn’t want to be there when the Captain got a hold of Lieutenant Sachs. He liked the girl, but he couldn’t imagine what had possessed her to go off on that crazy solo mission.  
  
“How is Ensign Perez?” Miranda didn’t even let him get settled in his chair before she began.  
  
Glad he had good news at least, Nigel responded, “The doc is confident she will make a full recovery, despite the field-conditions of her surgical procedures.”  
  
Miranda’s raised eyebrow managed to inquire about everything from the Euphoros to the use of a ration bag and air pump in a medical procedure. Her words remained simple. “That is good.”  
  
Nigel figured he might as well keep going through the list. “Parks and Orella need rest and maybe an appointment with the counselor. Their injuries were superficial and already healed. The doctor sent them to get some food and then to quarters.” Miranda nodded to encourage him to continue. “Sachs seemed pretty shaken up. Her only injury was a gash on her palm that Orella healed. The doctor gave her a sedative, a protein shake, and sent her to bed.”  
  
Miranda sat for several moments looking at the screen where the image of the shuttle and modified pod was on display. Kate knew that the horizon view was not important for anyone else, so she kept her eyes on that view on her screen. “Get a team working on the shuttle and get it back on board. If that will take too long, then tractor it.” Miranda paused as she looked at the modified pod again. It was unlikely that they could just put it back where it came from, but she supposed that it had already pulled duty once as an emergency shuttle, so it had value. “Can we beam the pod into a cargo bay? Or do we need to tractor that as well?” Standing, Miranda looked at Nigel. “Get the shuttle first and then the pod. Make it work, Nigel.”  
  
Nigel patted her arm as she stepped away. “If there are complications, then I’ll contact you.”  
  
Swallowing, Miranda looked around the bridge and then back to the commander. “I’ll check on Perez, then the others, if they are awake.”  
  
*** *** ***  
  
Deirdre Perez had still not regained consciousness when the Captain stopped by. She spoke with the doctor about counseling appointments for all of the officers involved and then asked the Interface about the other two crewmembers from the Shuttle Caroline. They were still in the mess hall telling their tale of survival to a small audience. She didn’t want to take away from their time in the spotlight, so after a brief check-in, she made her way into the corridor.  
  
Making her way toward Andrea’s quarters, Miranda found herself in a quandary between her burgeoning and inexplicable personal feelings for the younger woman and her reactions as Captain. The young woman had transported herself to a secret escape pod equipped to withstand a heavy ion storm and carrying who knew what kind of cargo or other capabilities. That pod had been able to navigate, not just shoot off to the nearest inhabitable surface! Defiance, illegal tampering with ship’s property, desertion of duty—the charges were easy to tick off on her fingers and all indicated time in the brig, potential demotion, and other consequences to be dreamed up by the Captain. However, the young woman had anticipated a possible safety concern, prepared for it, and took action that saved one life. It was difficult for even the hard as nails Captain Priestly to simply punish the infuriating woman.  
  
The risk she took for her own life and the worry stirred up in Miranda’s chest—well, that was personal. The Captain knew that and had to separate it out, but Miranda still needed to deal with the situation. She just wasn’t sure who would be standing in front of Lieutenant Sachs’s door.

 

 

x


	26. Shadow Memory

_**Bent Will. Part 26/36.**_  
  
  
Pressing the alert button for Lieutenant Sachs’s quarters, Captain Priestly straightened her shoulders and prepared to take care of business first. She could not have crewmembers running around converting escape pods into shuttles and leaving the helm of the USS Hathaway during an emergency situation. As the door swooshed open, the older woman stepped in looking for her defiant crewmember. “Lieutenant.” At first she did not see Andrea’s form huddled on the end of the couch. She stepped further into the room and called again.  
  
Movement caught the Captain’s eye as the younger officer sat up. “Captain.” She stood unsteadily and flung her arm out for balance.  
  
Closing the distance between them, the silver haired woman hissed, “Sit down, before you fall down.”  
  
Permission granted, Andrea flopped back onto the couch. “Thank you.” The slowness of her words indicated how difficult it was for her to get the words out. “I’m sorry, Captain.” For many long moments, Andrea focused on breathing and trying to not let her long blinks turn into sleep. She knew the Captain was watching her, but took comfort in her presence. She knew that she would be in trouble, but right now, she let her subconscious lead her, and her subconscious wanted to bask in the Captain’s proximity.  
  
Miranda stood watching the younger woman and fighting her need to comfort her.  
  
Eventually, Miranda sat next to Andrea on the couch and pulled her hand into her lap. “The Captain will need an explanation, compelling reasons, and to punish you, Lieutenant.” Andrea turned large brown eyes to look into her blue ones and they sat for a moment taking each other in. “I want to be the Captain right now, but I need to be Miranda.” Her whisper barely registered in Andrea’s consciousness, but she must have soaked in the meaning as she leaned ever closer. “You need Miranda right now too, hmm?”  
  
Andrea hummed and leaned against Miranda’s side as her answer.  
  
“Ensign Perez will make a full recovery thanks to you.” Miranda scooted to the end of the small couch and fought a giggle as Andrea slowly fell into her lap. “Come here.” She invited the younger woman properly into her arms. “Get comfortable.” Once Andrea was tucked against her chest, Miranda stroked up and down Andrea’s arm. “Is it just me or have we been here before?”  
  
The brunette pulled her head up to look into Miranda’s eyes. “I think I was tending you.” She smiled a little dopey smile at the thought.  
  
Miranda defied the urge to lean forward the fraction of an inch between them to claim Andrea’s lips as her own. Instead she adjusted so that she could encourage Andrea’s head back down with her hand. “The moment I was notified you left in the pod, I knew that whatever the emergency was, that you would take care of it.” She squeezed the younger woman in her arms tightly. “That doesn’t mean I wasn’t scared to death for you and furious because of it.”  
  
Andrea shook her head, which rubbed her face against Miranda’s chest. They each held still for many moments and then relaxed. It had happened before between them—these little moments where they were on the cusp of something much more than a friendship budding between them. “How did you know?”  
  
Grumbling, Miranda tapped the foot of her free leg on the ground. “I knew because I knew. It was like that day with the Phyrochez. I knew you had gone to take care of whatever might be happening, because it’s what you did with me. Only I know that, that didn’t happen.” Miranda rubbed her side where she somehow knew a wound had been.  
  
Jostled by the older woman’s movements, Andrea focused on her companion as she asked. “What are you doing?”  
  
Miranda settled the younger woman against her body again. “In the shadow memory that I have, you performed surgery on my side here.” She patted her side where Andrea couldn’t see it, but knew she’d understand anyway.  
  
“Shadow memory?” Andrea exhaled the phrase. Her exhaustion and the doctor’s sedative were combining with the Captain’s presence to take her under.  
  
“It was the only name I could put to it.” Miranda spoke into Andrea’s hair and began to stroke her back soothingly. “I searched the term and came back with articles about Time Loops and other Temporal Mechanics terms.”  
  
Pouting, Andrea’s lips pressed against Miranda’s chest. The older woman couldn’t see them, but the mood was clear in the brunette’s words. “Don’t give me a headache.”  
  
Before she recognized the impulse, Miranda held Andrea’s head and kissed her hair. “I hate the stuff too, but it answers the question of our connection.” Closing her eyes, Miranda wasn’t sure whether she hoped Andrea would call her on the kiss or let it go.  
  
Andrea nuzzled her head against Miranda’s chin and she hoped that Miranda would kiss her hair again. “Had to be the Phyrochez then. I mean it had to be a time loop during that time.”  
  
Shivering, though she wasn’t cold, Miranda agreed. “Yes, and I really don’t want to think what horrors had to happen for us to be pulled into a time loop.”  
  
Snuggling closer to the older woman, Andrea agreed. “Well, we’ve each remembered a devastating battle with self-destruct and aiming the ship at the Phyrochez homeworld, so I’m with you—I don’t want to know how bad it must have been.” Letting out a big yawn, Andrea blushed profusely and sat up. “I’m sorry.”  
  
Tucking a strand of hair behind Andrea’s ear, Miranda asked, “Do you think you can sleep?”  
  
Nodding Andrea stood on wobbly legs. “The doc gave me a second one to take when I was ready. So I’ll do that and be out like a light.”  
  
Miranda walked with her toward the bed, not guiding her, but staying close just in case. “For now you are confined to quarters until you have spoken with the Captain. You may receive visitors and, only if necessary, go to the doctor. I will send the counselor to meet with you late in the day tomorrow.”  
  
Andrea gave a half smile and repeated her earlier words, “I am sorry.”  
  
Motioning the younger woman toward her bed, Miranda assured her. “I know you are, Andrea.” The older woman got a glass of water when she saw the pill on the younger woman’s bedside table. “I just needed to tell you myself, so that you didn’t have to find out from the Interface when you tried to leave your quarters.”  
  
Taking the glass of water, Andrea quickly grabbed the pill and swallowed it down. She set the glass on the bedside table. “Thank you, Miranda.”  
  
The older woman stepped forward and wrapped her arms around the younger woman. “Use the Interface to contact me if you need anything, Andrea.” She kissed the brunette’s temple and then her cheek. Andrea tilted her head, but Miranda kissed the corner of her mouth with a smile—half giving in to the girl and half not. “Get your sleep clothes before that kicks in.” The command crept into Miranda’s voice as she gave her final order and stepped away. Turning on her heel, the older woman fought the urge to look back as she heard the slide of fabric and then the thud of clothes hitting the floor.  
  
“Yes, ma’am.” Andrea drowsily called out to the retreating woman’s back.  
  
*** *** ***  
  
“You might want to head down to Cargo Bay 1.” Nigel offered as soon as he saw his Captain. He dutifully got up and switched to his chair, but he didn’t think he’d be sitting in it for long. “They have the pod up there and Emily is reluctantly praising the alterations.”  
  
Miranda settled into her seat and looked around the bridge. “First you and now Emily.” Miranda rolled her eyes at her First Officer, who had championed Andrea from the beginning. “She can win anyone over.”  
  
Her tone was scathing; however, Nigel knew her better than she thought he did. He laughed outright. “Anyone, hmm? Even you?” Nigel made sure his words were quiet enough not to carry, but he kept his eyes on his commanding officer. From her blush, he knew that he had finally figured out what, or rather who, had changed his Captain. “Your blush answers for you.” Seeing her scrambling in her mind, he reached out and patted her hand. “It’s not obvious and it’s fine.”  
  
With one eyebrow raised, Miranda stood. “We’ll talk later.” She walked up to Parker to check their progress. “When they finish, get us back on course, Lieutenant.” Making her way around to the upper level of the bridge, Miranda tossed out, “Nigel, you have the con.”  
  
Nigel kept a straight face as he called back, “Aye, aye, Captain.” As soon as he heard the swoosh of the door, he laughed into his palm hard enough that Parker finally turned to look at him.  
  
  
  


  


x


	27. Little Com That Could

_**Bent Will. Part 27/36.**_  
  
‘How dare that brat cause more work for me and create havoc on the bridge.’ Emily’s boots hit the corridor floor hard with each step. ‘She can fly.’ The red head let out a deep sigh of disgust. She hated admitting that the current lead pilot on the USS Hathaway had any skill whatsoever, but it could not be denied that Andrea knew how to navigate, look out for dangers, and get the most out of the engines with some creative controlling. However it had seemed like the brunette had been hanging out at the hospital waiting for pilots to come in and thereby create an opening for her. She hadn’t wanted to wait for the official application window to open up. Instead she had demanded a demonstration selection, which would circumvent the entire application process.  
  
The brunette hadn’t even seemed to know who Miranda was, or she knew enough to know that Miranda was important, but she didn’t know her or respect her. That had been her first mistake. Her second had been challenging Miranda to hold demonstration challenges for anyone interested the next day. Emily’s Captain had practically had smoke coming out of her ears and if she had been able to breathe fire, then Miranda Priestly certainly would have. Then the dimwit had enough gall to insist on calling the Captain ma’am for longer than it should have taken to learn not to—and—she had insisted on being addressed by her rank and name before she had even been selected. Recently the cursed woman had reverted to the use of ma’am, which irked Emily and seemed to amuse the Captain. In turn that really caused Emily to be in a flap over the brunette thorn in her side. Her Captain was amused—even if it was only slightly. ‘Ugh!’ The red head grumbled again.  
  
When she turned showed up on the USS Hathaway, the girl still had bruises and a slight limp from whatever she had been in the hospital for. It was appalling.  
  
That she had skills has been literally the only thing saving her—that and Kate Jasper being quite decent all the way around. She knew who Miranda was, wanted to work with her, and didn’t jump to war with everyone.  
  
The cargo bay door swooshed open and Emily’s jaw dropped to the floor.  
  
The ‘little pod that could’ had danced with the level 6 going into 7 ion storm and she still looked good. Emily knew it was almost better that her first view of the pod was after its successful performance. Otherwise, she would have seen it as Andrea’s pet project and she would have dismissed it entirely. Instead she was looking at the storm plating surrounding the escape pod whose trajectory she had watched as long as they could on the view screen on the bridge. It was amazing to put this piece of machinery with that little bit of screen magic—and this time it was not some kind of special effect.  
  
The hard landing meant that the external plating would have to be re-shaped if the pod would be storm chasing again. Otherwise the window was intact and the access door was in good working order. Emily pulled the handle to open it and had to pick up her jaw once again when she took in the navigation panel installed by hand, but meticulous all the same. Crawling into the pod, Emily fired up the power and began to examine the usual controls that had been morphed into a whole new classification. This was no longer Escape Pod 104. It deserved its own name.  
  
Seeing what looked like a miniature version of the communication panel from the other shuttles, Emily pressed it. “State your command.”  
  
Emily blinked hard and gasped out, “Oh hell.”  
  
With a chirp, not unlike the Interface on the USS Hathaway, the little panel cheered back, “Unrecognizable.”  
  
Emily frowned at the darn thing for gleefully calling her out on her inability to string together proper words that it could use. “Pod, contact Lieutenant Commander Malcom Rockpere. Let him know Lieutenant Commander Emily Charlton requests his presence in Cargo Bay 1.” She hoped that was proper enough for the ‘little com that could’ and not too much to overload it either.  
  
After several seconds, the Pod Voice toned, “Message sent.”  
  
Pressing the system to standby mode, Emily looked around her. “What else did she have in here?” Rooting around Emily noticed an empty space where another case had been. She made a note to find out what was missing. There were quite a few spare shuttle parts, multi-tools that were heavier duty than the ones on the shuttles, two mini oxygen tanks, an extra face mask, a few kinds of tape, sheeting that could be cut for a variety of purposes, and even some data pads labeled—medical, shuttle maintenance, extreme survival.  
  
Emily looked down as her personal communication on her badge chirped. “Hello?”  
  
On the bridge, Serena smiled at the distraction in her lover’s voice. “Still going over the escape pod?”  
  
Emily looked around her again and thought she could stay here all day. “It’s amazing. If the Captain wants to punish her, there are plenty of other jobs she could set her to work doing based on ideas from this pod.”  
  
The blonde giggled quietly. “I’ll let Nigel know that you have suggestions if the Captain wants any ideas.”  
  
Closing the pod door as she spoke to her girlfriend, Emily tried to take in the experience flying in this thing would have been. “She has put so many useful things into the pod without making it anymore cramped than it already is.”  
  
Serena hummed and wondered if it would be a violation of her girlfriend’s person to call up the camera in the cargo bay. “I am glad that you finally accept that Andrea has a good head on her shoulders.”  
  
The red head rolled her eyes. “Not that she shared any of this with anyone.”  
  
Smirking now, Serena scolded, “And if she had asked anyone or told anyone, what would have happened? She would have been shut down.” Serena tapped in a few notes on her screen for when the Captain returned. “Ensign Perez would have died without her intervention. No matter how unorthodox it was or how many rules she broke—she saw a danger and acted to save the crew from themselves with this obstacle course.”  
  
Looking around, Emily wondered if there was any way to add landing gear controls and whether it would compromise the ion storm plating. “I am impressed with what she did, I’ll give you that. However, I’ll let you be her legal counsel if Miranda decides to court-martial her on ship.”  
  
Serena wondered how in the world Emily got through the day when she couldn’t see the same things that were obvious to her. “You saw how worried Miranda was when we couldn’t get to them for three and a half hours. She had to go hide in her ready room before she took off one of our heads.”  
  
CLINK. CLINK.  
  
Focused so completely on imagining flight in the pod and talking to her girlfriend, Emily nearly came out of her skin when Malcom rapped his knuckles on the pod’s door. “Aaaaaah!” She screamed and fluttered around like a trapped bumble bee inside the pod.  
  
“Emily, you said to come up here.” Malcom’s voice was muffled from outside the pod.  
  
“Are you alright?” Serena worried, but knew to wait before panicking when it came to her girlfriend’s reactions.  
  
“Quit fooling around.” Malcom followed up.  
  
Closing her eyes and willing herself to de-freak, Emily responded to Serena first, “Malcom just scared the pants off of me by knocking on the pod’s door. I have to go.”  
  
Biting her lip to not laugh outright, Serena breathed in and quickly signed off. “Don’t be late for dinner.” When the communication was ended, she turned away from her screen and doubled over laughing.  
  
Opening the pod door, Emily hoped that she didn’t look like she’d just been chased by a banshee. “Scared the bejeebers out of me, Malcom!” She scolded him as she crawled out of the pod and closed the door. He needed to discover and see it all for himself.  
  
*** *** ***  
  
By the time Miranda arrived in the cargo bay, Emily and Malcom had created a temporary worktable and scattered data pads over it as they continued to debate the pros and cons of modifying more pods and comparing that to the energy drain that would be needed. They had also taken the time to look at the problem of landing gear on the pod and decided that for the purposes such pods would be used for, a crash landing and tractor beam retrieval would be satisfactory. They had begun to discuss time-tables and energy requirements, since they were in a dilithium rich area at the present time. Would it be worth the extra time to have another of these pods or two became the question.  
  
When the Captain first came in, the pair gave her the highlights of their discoveries and shared some of their data pads with her. After several minutes where she quietly perused the data, they slipped back into their own discourse. Miranda listened as they whipped into a scientific and engineering frenzy. She liked it when the departments got along and she smiled as she slipped over to the pod itself.  
  
The storm plating had been hand crafted onto the pod, though time and care had clearly been put into it. Miranda ran her hand over the top edge of the bent plating where the pod had landed. She could see that the addition to the pod had supported its natural crash resistance. She carefully touched various grooves and scratches where the storm had thrown particles to destroy it. Slipping through the access panel, Miranda pulled it closed. This shut out the voices of her department heads and brought her closer to Andrea’s experience.  
  
Emily had left the power on, so Miranda could clearly make out the navigation system with its loose wires and laughably small screen. Settling into the seat, she noted the array of items tucked in carefully with her. They each had more than one purpose or were a more heavy-duty version of something that would be on the shuttles. A case was missing that Miranda assumed went with Andrea to the shuttle. The headband that Ensign Perez had been transported back with was not standard on any shuttle in the fleet.  
  
Miranda had been in more than one emergency simulation and it gave her goosebumps to call up the feeling of being ejected from a starship and bounced around in the pod as it traveled to the nearest remotely habitable place it could locate within its energy field. As far as Miranda was concerned, the only reason to get into an escape pod was if the ship was going to be completely destroyed.  
  
In this case, Andrea seemed to have been working like a madwoman to modify this pod to take the place of an emergency response shuttle. Everything in the pod with her screamed emergency: repair, response, and preparedness. Andrea had willingly put herself in this tiny pod in order to throw herself into a raging ion storm on the off chance that she could help them when no one else could.  
  
For defiance, the girl deserved brig time.  
  
For the heroic action of seeing a safety failure and personally creating a fix for it—the girl deserved a medal.  
  
Miranda knew that no one would have listened if Andrea brought up her concerns and the kind of scenario that they had all just gone through. Up until the Phyrochez Incident, Miranda wouldn’t have let the girl even ask her a question unless she had to. She knew that many on the ship had picked up on her feelings toward the girl and would have reacted similarly—Emily and Malcom probably would have been two of the worst to shoot the brunette’s ideas down. Yet they had been examining the pod and debating its merits for quite some time and from the looks of it would be here three-quarters of the next shift as well. Miranda knew she would have to demonstrate her newfound respect for the pretty lieutenant in order to help the rest of the crew change their ways. She vowed to do this no matter what happened between her and the younger woman.  
  
Knowing Andrea much better since their probable time loop ordeal, Miranda now had a better perspective of the younger woman. Sitting in this modified escape pod and having heard about her actions during the storm, Miranda needed to find out what drove her to this level of preparedness and worry. No wonder Andrea had been out of it enough that the doc had sedated her. Shaking her head at this set of thoughts, Miranda opened the access panel and crawled out of the pod. She needed to see what her department heads were scheming and then get some rest. Answers wouldn’t be forthcoming right now.

 

 

x


	28. Overlooked Safety

_**Bent Will. Part 28/36.**_  
  
Ensign Stefano Orella had just pressed the button in the lift, when Second Lieutenant Christopher Parks jammed his hand in front of the door to halt it closing. “You were summoned as well?” He asked his slightly out of breath team member.  
  
Christopher nodded, “Yeah. When I saw you, I figured it would be best to arrive together.”  
  
Pressing the lift to activate it, Stefano commented in a way that made it a question, “We stuck to the truth when we were telling the story.”  
  
Laughing slightly at this comment, Chris assured his companion. “If we were in trouble, then she’d call us to the ready room for a private dressing down.”  
  
Turning an incredulous look at the tall blond, Stefano gulped back the majority of his reply. “Guess so.”  
  
Chris turned to face the younger man. “Don’t get me wrong, the Captain is scary. However, think about the public criticisms and cutting lectures.” He grinned when the ensign frowned at the mental montage this suggestion called forth. “They were all in the moment and based on a true error. They were not randomly handed out later.” When Stefano looked visibly relieved and relaxed, Christopher cautioned him. “That doesn’t mean she won’t ask hard questions.”  
  
Stepping into the mess hall at ten minutes to eight, the pair breathed a sigh of relief that they were early. Then as they stepped into the line and looked the room over, they both tensed up again. “She’s already here.” Stefano whispered.  
  
“Get your coffee, a piece of fruit, and then something portable like a granola bar.” Chris knew they couldn’t be in trouble, but it was always unnerving to think that the Captain’s complete focus was on you.  
  
*** *** ***  
  
“How did Lieutenant Sachs get into the shuttle? The report said that the controls were damaged.” Miranda sipped her coffee and kept her junior officers talking with questions.  
  
Stefano smiled as he thought back on Andrea’s arrival. “She shouted something about maintenance access points. Then she was climbing up the front side of the shuttle where it had been crumpled by the landing. I guess the bends made it easier to climb. She came in through the roof and I had to cut the ceiling liner to make it easier for her to swing inside.”  
  
Miranda crossed her legs under the table, before asking her next question, “What did the Lieutenant bring with her?”  
  
Chris chimed in as he set his glass down. “A full medical diagnostic tool was the first thing she used and then the Head Band for Deirdre’s concussion. She was going to cut her open with a phaser and no pain meds.”  
  
Rolling his eyes at his colleague, Stefano chimed in. “It wasn’t a phaser.” He rolled his eyes. “She needed to drain and then inflate Deirdre’s lung. Chris told her she couldn’t cut into her without pain meds. When Andrea said that she had Euphoros, he accused her of being an addict.” Miranda’s eyes cut over to Chris and he stifled whatever he was about to say. When she leaned her head to the side, Stefano continued. “Captain, I don’t know what Sachs has been through, but she switched gears on Parks. She made it clear that given the factors of our situation, the storm, and Deirdre’s injuries that she wouldn’t make it if we hesitated. She told Chris that she wasn’t an addict. She said she was a survivor.”  
  
Chris leaned back in his chair and sighed. It had not been his best moment. “She kept it real cool, didn’t raise her voice at all. I thought she might phaser me, if I protested anymore.”  
  
Stefano muttered, “She should have.”  
  
Looking his Captain in the eye, Chris continued. “Her plan was solid and she made sure to be real clear each step of the way. She even had Stefano administer and control the Euphoros. If I had to be in another emergency, I would trust Sachs to handle the situation.”  
  
For many seconds the trio did not speak. Stefano cautiously ate his peeled orange slices, while Chris stared into his coffee. It made sense to ask if someone was an addict, if they were carrying Euphoros around. However, given the other first aid supplies and the makeshift nature of some of them—plastic tubing for example—it was out of line for him to accuse her, especially during the crisis. She had never exhibited any signs of addiction. It was within his rights to ask about the procedure, yet that type of inquiry could be handled upon returning to the ship.  
  
“She called herself a survivor.” Miranda’s voice was so quiet that both officers sat at attention to hear her. “Did she say what she had survived?”  
  
Swallowing hard as he ran through the memory again, Christopher replied. “When she set me straight, she mentioned those challenge courses that have been banned in the Alpha Quadrant for safety concerns. I’d guess she knew about that from personal experience.”  
  
Miranda breathed deeply, not wanting to reveal her personal reaction. “Thank you for going over things this morning. I’m glad that you were all brought back and Ensign Perez will make a full recovery.” The younger officers scrambled to stand as their Captain gained her feet. She paid them no mind as she swept her mug from the table and swiftly made for the exit.  
  
*** *** ***  
  
In her ready room, Miranda read Emily’s report on the escape pod, and sent orders for them to estimate the dilithium needed to outfit one additional pod. They would stay in orbit long enough to gather the needed fuel and then continue on their way. Her mind intermittently returned to Andrea throughout the morning and she had to fight back the urge to check on the younger woman. Instead she checked in with the doctor for Ensign Perez and asked if any of the others had come in seeking further assistance.  
  
Personally, Miranda wanted to comfort Andrea and ask her about what had happened in her past.  
  
Professionally, the Captain could not contain her rage—they had overlooked safety in the pursuit of pleasure. Her anger started with herself and then cascaded right over to her first officer. She distinctly remembered pointing out that there were only two shuttles. She also distinctly remembered Andrea suggesting the use of the holodecks.  
  
“Commander.” The Captain called from her open ready room door.  
  
Hearing his title, Nigel perked up. He hoped that Miranda was going to tell him about her time with Andrea the previous day and he wondered if she had stopped by the young woman’s quarters in the morning, since she shifted her duty schedule back an hour.  
  
Keeping his face neutral, Nigel settled into the chair across from his Captain.  
  
“Did you include Lieutenant Sachs in your preparations for the race?” Miranda’s tone was cold. She was searching for answers this morning, not ready to dish personal details.  
  
Nigel’s jaw dropped open for a moment and then he controlled it in order to answer. “Lieutenant Sachs seemed uninterested in the preparations and stressed safety in all of our conversations. Lieutenant Jasper shared our excitement for the project and ultimately helped out more.”  
  
Tapping the desk with her pointer finger, Miranda waited a few seconds before launching a series of questions. “Using the only shuttles we had for the race, what plans did you have for simultaneous equipment failure on the shuttles? If there was a crash or serious injury how were you going to provide support? What if there had been a geological disturbance at one landing site and unknown unfriendly aliens at the other? What if our sensors went off line, the pilot on one shuttle had a heart attack, and an atmospheric disturbance at the other shuttle’s landing site rendered that team unconscious?”  
  
Nigel’s jaw dropped as each scenario became more complicated and unlikely. The lessons learned from the Captain in similar situations had left scars in his mind and he wisely held his tongue. He knew resistance would only make this hurt more.  
  
“What was your emergency plan for having two shuttles out during a level six ion storm?” Miranda made sure to deliver this scenario with the same cold neutrality as she had delivered her other ones. Then she let the words hang there as her point became obvious—there had been no plan and there should have been.  
  
“Captain.” Nigel started to defend himself, even though he knew this was a no win scenario. He also knew that she didn’t put all the blame on his shoulders, but that she was challenging him to do better in the future.  
  
“There was no way for us to predict that storm.” Miranda arched her eyebrow at Nigel before she continued. “And yet, Andrea Sachs outfitted an escape pod designed to act as an emergency shuttle in exactly that kind of situation.”  
  
Nigel swallowed and waited for the rest of Miranda’s thoughts.  
  
The Captain stood and made her way to the small view port behind her desk. She leaned her shoulder against the wall and appeared to be looking out at the stars. Nigel knew she wasn’t seeing them. “We failed them. I failed them. Things were not thought all the way through and it nearly cost Ensign Perez her life.”  
  
Uncertain of his next words, Nigel stood in front of his chair. “In the future, we will be sure to put safety at the top of our considerations.”  
  
Miranda nodded, but said nothing.  
  
Flexing his fingers together and then apart, Nigel fought the urge to shift his weight from side to side or rock forward. He had not been dismissed, nor did he know what to say. It was the Captain’s turn to speak.  
  
“Andrea was clearly worried about what could happen during this race. I believe that at some point in the past, she had a traumatic experience with a challenge course in either the Alpha or Beta Quadrant. In secret, she prepared that pod in a meticulous and fanatical manner, Nigel. Have you been down there to see it?” Miranda looked at him with pained blue eyes. “She prepared for anything and everything that she possibly could and threw herself, her life, into an escape pod that may or may not perform the way she intended it to. I know why she couldn’t bring her concerns to me and I intend to rectify that immediately.”  
  
Nigel felt his legs bend and was absent-mindedly glad that he had not stepped away from the chair. He had always loved Sachs and welcomed her to the ship—even if he did it in his sarcastic and insulting way. They had formed a kind of friendship as he tried to help the younger woman understand how to interact with Miranda and become a successful member of their crew, despite her horrific path to joining the USS Hathaway. Yet, she had not felt comfortable telling him about her concerns for the race. Why hadn’t Andrea felt she could talk to him?

 

 

x


	29. Strange Request

_**Bent Will. Part 29/36.**_  
  
Andrea slowly emerged from the sedative enhanced fog of sleep, only to jolt upright as she recalled why she hadn’t been woken by the Interface in time for her shift. Her mind swirling with a haunting mixture of then and now, Andrea rushed to the en suite. Holding her hair back with one hand and resting her other on the top of the toilet, the troubled brunette forced herself to breathe deeply. Meeting success with that goal, she willed the nausea to go away. After several seconds, she let her hair hang loose, and then she straightened up. Stepping over to the mirror, Andrea blinked her dark brown eyes several times as she forced herself to look within and recite affirmations that she had not needed for several months now.  
  
Focused, grounded, and generally in a much better place, Andrea stepped into the shower. Clearly she was awake and might as well get on with her day. Making quick work of getting clean, Andrea tended to her teeth and then grabbed her comfortable off duty clothes. She walked in circles in her living room wondering what time it was, how Ensign Perez was doing, when the counselor would come, and how things were going to go with the Captain when the time came.  
  
Needing to burn off some excess energy, Andrea began to stretch and then slowly flow into a tai chi routine that she had used in the academy. It felt good to re-connect with a younger version of herself—one before Nate, Lily, Doug, and the competition courses dodging and weaving around the Kuiper Belt in Alpha. It wasn’t like there had been much time between the academy and now, but part of her felt like she was already on her third lifetime.  
  
As her thoughts continued to leapfrog around, Andrea considered that perhaps she had been destined to go through an experience similar to the one she’d run from. Perhaps to finally face the past, she had to be smacked in the face with a near return to it.  
  
Only this time, the shuttle crew wouldn’t be turning against her. The USS Hathaway crew perhaps had not fully welcomed her into their arms, but it had grudgingly accepted her skills. Her Captain now saw her in a better light, and it was mutual. Perhaps, with those differences in situation, she could face what happened and her role in the past situation.  
  
Naturally, her mind managed to wander back to the Captain and then the woman Andrea now knew was behind the title. Halting her motions, Andrea made her way to the couch and curled up thinking of the previous afternoon. Miranda had confirmed another shadow memory of a field surgery, where Andrea had operated on Miranda. It explained how she had gravitated toward some of her choices when preparing the pod and selecting supplies and alternatives to pack. She wondered what Miranda was like on Euphoros and whether or not the Captain had lost consciousness. She couldn’t remember freaking out in the shadow memory, though it wasn’t exactly all clear either. It just stood out as a possibility of why the shadow wouldn’t have been as disturbing as seeing Ensign Perez unresponsive, despite her best efforts.  
  
Just like…  
  
Andrea shook her head and looked around the room surprised. “Come.” She called out as her door chimed again. “Come in.” She cleared her throat and repeated herself, just in case. Standing out of some long ingrained routine of politeness, Andrea absently wiped at her face where she discovered tears.  
  
“Lieutenant Sachs? Are you alright?” The gentle voice of Jordana reached out as the counselor cautiously stepped closer.  
  
Giving her a watery smile, Andrea laughed. “Guess your patients usually cry during their appointments, instead of before, eh, counselor?” Andrea motioned toward the couches and excused herself. “I’ll be just a moment.” Splashing some water on her face, Andrea took a few deep breaths. She knew this was going to be difficult, but she thought that she could handle it.  
  
“Were you able to rest, Lieutenant?” Jordana waited until Andrea had settled on the couch facing her.  
  
Just as the brunette opened her mouth to reply, her stomach growled. Blushing profusely, Andrea lowered her head and hid behind her bangs. “I, yeah. Um, I slept well.” Standing, Andrea shrugged at the counselor. “Would you like anything? Water?” Andrea motioned toward the Energy Bay.  
  
“A glass of water would be great, thank you.” The counselor watched the young woman curiously. From the crying when she entered, she would have thought Andrea to be quite off kilter, yet she was able to adjust fairly quickly and joke appropriately. The younger woman intrigued her.  
  
Returning with their drinks and a plate of crackers, cheese, and fruit, Andrea returned to her seat. “Have you already talked to the others?” Andrea knew the counselor couldn’t divulge personal details about the others, but she thought it an easy enough way to start the conversation. She wasn’t really sure how this worked. Loading a cracker with cheese, she was glad when her body didn’t revolt at the thought of consuming food.  
  
“Ensign Perez should wake up this evening. The doctor will notify me, though I doubt she’ll be ready for talking.” Jordana moved her black hair off her shoulder and settled back on the cushions. “Parks and Orella will return to duty tomorrow.”  
  
Glad she had gotten a few bites in, Andrea gave a small smile. “Now it’s my turn.”  
  
Recognizing the other woman’s unease, Jordanna decided to give their conversation a little push. Andrea could always deflect or pause by taking a bite of food or a sip of her water—actions that would tell the counselor a lot about the other woman even without a direct and undiluted answer. “We often start sessions by going over the event or events leading up to counseling. Depending on how things are going or time constraints, conversations can flow into other areas of someone’s life or past events.”  
  
Tucking her legs under her on the couch, Andrea nodded, “It sounds like a lot of the things that I need to go over with the Captain.”  
  
Shrugging one shoulder, Jordana agreed in part. “We operate on many levels at the same time. I’m sure that the Captain will need and want to know about certain actions you took, whether or not you broke protocols, and to some extent why.” She leaned forward to make sure Andrea kept her eyes on her. “With your counselor, there will be more emphasis on how you are feeling about those same actions.” Once Jordana had finished speaking, Andrea nodded her head slightly. “Also I cannot confine you to quarters or assign brig time.”  
  
Andrea grinned at this distinction, “No, you can just say I’m a danger to myself or others and make a recommendation accordingly.”  
  
Glad that the younger woman seemed to honestly be joking instead of covering resentment, suspicion, or pain, Jordana laughed back. “Precisely.”  
  
Fidgeting with her hands in her lap, Andrea looked down for several seconds. “Can I ask the Captain to come in?” Looking up into Jordana’s dark eyes, Andrea recognized her surprise. “I have to tell the Captain most of this stuff and it’s going to be hard enough. I don’t think that I’ll want to tell the story twice in quick succession.”  
  
Further intrigued by the younger woman, Jordana waved her hand. “If you wish, Andrea, just remember that you can ask her to leave at any point. This is still your counseling session.”  
  
Andrea tucked her hair behind her ears and then called out, “Interface please contact Captain Priestly. I am ready to speak about yesterday’s events, if she is available.”  
  
*** *** ***  
  
On the bridge, the voice of the Interface brought them all out of their focus on the dilithium mining and plans for the next converted pod. “Captain, Lieutenant Sachs is ready to speak about yesterday’s events, if you are available.”  
  
Miranda’s spine straightened out and her shoulders flexed with renewed tension.  
  
“I thought you spoke with her yesterday?” Nigel quietly murmured. The pilot had been confined to quarters and Miranda had been gone long enough for a thorough dressing down.  
  
Tapping the screen of her console, Miranda checked the time and whereabouts of Lieutenant Sachs. Then she also checked the location of Counselor Jordana Meigle. Pursing her lips, Miranda wondered about this strange request. Turning to her first officer, Miranda looked at him for several long seconds as she deliberated how she wanted to move forward. “Andrea was quite shaken up yesterday and I think she was reminded of whatever her previous trauma may have been. We spoke yesterday and I confined her to quarters. I let her know that she would need to speak to the Captain before things would be complete.”  
  
Nigel’s face expressed his thoughts clearly, but he followed up with a redundant, “Wow.”  
  
Standing, Miranda turned to look him in the eye. “Indeed.” She murmured with the full knowledge that he would be able to cipher out the true direction of their unspoken conversation. There would be time for full disclosure, when there was truly something to share. For now it was enough that he understood just how fundamental a shift had begun. “You have the con.” She said as she made her way around the bridge to the exit.

 

 

x


	30. Just Over a Year Ago

_**Bent Will. Part 30/36.**_  
  
Getting across the ship to the crew quarters took an interminably long time. Miranda refused to hurry, though her mind raced ahead. Andrea had sent the message, which she took as a good sign. The counselor reaching out would have had much more worrisome connotations. Looking back, Miranda could have sworn that the corridor was shifting around on her in order to keep her in the same place. She snapped her head around, hoping to catch some kind of movement with her eye, yet stood still disappointed. Once again, she was reminded that there were loose fragments of memories that happened at some point, at least until they were erased. She wondered when they would settle into the background of her brain, or if her destiny was to be haunted by them.  
  
Reaching the door to Andrea’s quarters, Miranda took a few deep breaths and unnecessarily smoothed down her uniform. Pressing the button to request entry, she stepped back and to the right. When the door swooshed open, she stepped in and paused as she took in Andrea’s calm countenance and the counselor’s benign smile.  
  
“That was quick.” Andrea gave a small smile and then stood. “Would you like some water, Captain?”  
  
Gesturing for the younger woman to be seated, Miranda joined her on the couch. “Maybe in a while.”  
  
The pause after her words stretched on for several heartbeats, until Jordana spoke up to get them going again. “Captain, thank you for joining us. I just want to remind the both of you that this is Andrea’s counseling session. She would like to share part of it with you, so that she doesn’t have to repeat it again. However, if she reaches a point where she needs to stop or no longer wishes to share, then she can ask for you to step out.” Jordana made sure to look at both of the women on the couch so that they could indicate their understanding. “Andrea, I think it is quite brave of you to share your story, whatever it may be. However, by inviting the Captain, you might open yourself up for disciplinary measures. The Captain cannot unhear your story and her job is the safety of this ship and all who crew her. Do you understand?”  
  
Andrea’s eyes had shifted focus and she nodded absently. For several seconds she did not realize that the counselor was waiting for her to respond verbally. “Yes, I understand. I accept that the Captain still has to be the Captain.” Crossing one leg over the other, Andrea swung her foot nervously.  
  
“Yesterday, you took an escape pod out in a dangerous ion storm, met up with the downed shuttle, and performed field surgery.” Jordana shifted in her seat and gave Andrea a reassuring half smile.  
  
Swallowing hard, Andrea closed her eyes and then began her story. “Pilots are braggarts, daredevils, and intense. Before my time in the academy, a group of student pilots called the Flying Nods had set most of the records still on the books. The stories of them among the trainees were inspiring as well as addicting. Catching their records became a way to show who you were—the more times you put your name over one of theirs, the more notoriety you had.” Andrea smiled as she thought of those early days where it was all challenge and fun. Her fellows had jockeyed for position and tried to pull off maneuvers that they knew they weren’t ready for, but vowing to each other that they someday would be. “I wasn’t ready to ship out when I first graduated and took a post Earthside. On the weekends, we would all go to the challenge courses. We would plan for the day when we would compete and talk trash with the others around us.” Chancing a glance at Miranda, the young brunette looked away quickly. She couldn’t decipher the look on the older woman’s face.  
  
“What were these challenge courses?” Jordana prodded Andrea for more details.  
  
Pulling one knee up so that she could hug it, Andrea shrunk into herself a bit. “They are races with obstacles, challenges, and not a little cheating. They were banned in the Alpha Quadrant after three of the Flying Nods were killed in separate challenges, which drew the attention of the media and the authorities.” Andrea rubbed her chin along the top of her knee and then blushed when she realized what she was doing. “My boyfriend, Nate was our captain. He had been on command track in the academy, but never finished. Lily was on weapons, challenges, and security. Doug was our science officer, general knowledge guy, and medical person.” Andrea sighed loudly. “We won a few races and it must have gone to our heads. We were having a good time. Everywhere I went, pilots patted me on the back and bought me a drink.” Andrea tried very hard to remember feeling good about the notoriety. Her boyfriend had sure loved to bask in her glory and her friends never said no to a free drink. It had been so carefree—one adrenaline high leading into the next. It only felt like months had gone by, but then she was turning 26 already.  
  
“There hadn’t been fighting in the badlands for nearly eighty years. The moon had been abandoned when the borders changed. Our rented shuttle was top of the line.” Andrea’s voice had taken on a recorded hollowness and her eyes filled with tears. “Fighting erupted while we were approaching the moon from the darker side. We had no idea there was a firestorm as we came into the zone. We were hit and crash landed on the surface. Our communications systems were taken out with the blast and I was flying blind.” Her words were coming slow and Jordana and Miranda shared a look that revealed just how much they didn’t really want to hear the end of this story.  
  
Bringing her other leg up to hug to her chest, Andrea forced herself to continue. “Doug hit his head. He never regained consciousness. Lily’s leg was so bad that I couldn’t do anything for her with the supplies we had on hand. Nate looked awful. The gash to his head didn’t want to stop bleeding. He wouldn’t respond, so we didn’t know how bad off he was. His chest and shoulder had been ripped open.” Andrea blinked the tears from her eyes and wiped at them half-heartedly. “Lily was able to work on her leg wound somewhat, but couldn’t help the rest of us. I used the band aids and gauze pads from the first aid kit fairly quickly and eventually just started wrapping clothing and emergency blankets around Nate to try and stop the bleeding. Lily was screaming at me and then went into shock and didn’t say much. She lost a lot of blood.”  
  
Andrea looked to each of her companions wishing that she could simply have them see into her mind, so that she would not have to finish the tale. “The hull of our ship had a breach and it slowly let in atmosphere from the moon. It had never been abandoned because of the fighting and factions. It had been evacuated after a mining accident had rendered it uninhabitable. We thought we were safe on the moon until someone would come get us.” Andrea shook her head. “When an exterior sensor on Doug’s suit went off, we knew there was trouble. Lily began screaming at me again. I got Nate into the stasis chamber and then encouraged Lily to join him. She wasn’t going to help me with Doug and I couldn’t bear to listen to her ranting.”  
  
On the precipice of getting worse, Andrea stopped and just let the images from the memories swirl in her head. Miranda’s warm palm against her upper arm reminded her that it was in the past. “Do you want to take a break, Andrea?”  
  
While the two women on the couch held a quiet conversation and said even more with their eyes, Jordana began to let her mind wander down new paths now that she suddenly had different information. She smiled to herself thinking of her own words to Andrea not more than an hour before about people interacting and storytelling on multiple levels at the same time.  
  
“No, I want to get through this. Hopefully the first time is the hardest.” Andrea patted her hand on top of Miranda’s and then let her palm rest against the back of Miranda’s hand where it remained on her arm. “We would have died before they came to get us, if we hadn’t gone into the stasis chambers. However, I don’t know if moving them made any of their injuries worse.” Andrea began to cry as her own guilt, the horrible situation, and her former friends and lover’s words came back to haunt her.  
  
“They blamed you.” Miranda’s words were icy quiet in her rage. She hoped that she never had to encounter Nate or Lily. Wrapped around her legs as she was, Andrea just moaned as she cried over the situation, the drama afterward, and then the loss of the three most important people in her life. Simultaneously scooting closer and reaching out for Andrea, the Captain shed her command once again as she pulled the younger woman against her.  
  
“You saved their lives, Andrea.” Jordana poured all of her comforting into her words, while Miranda used touch and proximity to soothe. “You made the best of a bad situation and you got them out of there.”  
  
Andrea pulled back from Miranda, but did not leave the safety of her arms. “Doug was in a coma. Nate lost the use of his arm. They had to amputate Lily’s leg below the knee. If I visited Doug, one of them was always there to scream at me or just drown me in horrific whispers.”  
  
Miranda thought she might have just figured something out, but wanted to make sure. “When was the last time you tried to see Doug?”  
  
Closing her eyes and swallowing hard, Andrea admitted, “Just over a year ago.”  
  
Miranda cupped Andrea’s cheek and made sure that the younger woman was looking up into her eyes. “You are remarkable, Andrea Sachs. Truly remarkable.”  
  
Putting her own pieces together in various puzzles, Jordana joined the conversation. “That was just before your unprecedented demand to join the ship via demonstration challenge in order to speed things along and circumvent the usual paperwork and procedures.”  
  
Andrea nodded her acknowledgement at Jordana. Then she turned to face Miranda. “It also meant that there wasn’t time for news of this scandal or just good old fashioned rumors to reach the ship and ruin my chances.”  
  
Smiling sadly at the pilot, Miranda acknowledged the unspoken truth. “It also got you quite far away from those people, though it left it all unsettled.”  
  
Shrugging, Andrea quietly shared, “I hoped that after a year or more away, Doug would be alright and perhaps Lily and Nate would be reasonable. We all were to blame for being on that challenge course and that’s not a comfortable feeling to know that you recklessly threw someone else into danger and couldn’t keep them safe.”  
  
Jordana felt like they had reached a good place and that it was actually time for her to go, instead of the Captain. The truth was that the officer had left some time ago, leaving behind only the woman who seemed to care deeply for Andrea. “Connecting back to yesterday’s events…” Jordana began to bring their conversation to a close. “This challenge course reminded you of all the things that can and could go wrong. So you prepared that emergency pod in an effort to foresee and meet any possible emergency needs.”  
  
Andrea pulled away from the Captain and ran her hand through her brown locks. “Yeah. Um. I found or replicated all of the items that I used. So, except for the actual modifying of the pod and ejecting it, I don’t think I broke any rules. In fact, it’s a bit of a grey area as to whether there are actually rules about the modifications that I made.”  
  
Rolling her eyes and fighting off a smile, Miranda spoke softly so that Andrea and Jordana both had to lean closer to hear her. “Your consequence will fit your actions, Andrea. However, we will save that for another time.”  
  
Standing, Jordana adjusted her black hair back over her shoulder. “Andrea, if you would like to speak again, just message me. You both should know that this entire session falls under counselor confidentiality. I wish you both the best.” With a knowing smile at the Captain, Jordana knew she needed to hustle out of the room quickly. “Captain.” She acknowledged over her shoulder as she made for the door.  
  


 

 

x


	31. Consequence

_**Bent Will. Part 31/36.**_  
  
Realizing what the Counselor implied as she left the two of them together, Andrea blushed. “I didn’t mean for her to, um,” Andrea waved her hand in the air uncertain of what to even say.  
  
Taking the outstretched hand in her own, Miranda waited until Andrea looked into her eyes. “Jordana knows more about me than I want her to and certainly more than just about anyone else. She might tease me and she will certainly ask questions. Other than that, she won’t say a word.”  
  
Andrea tried to comprehend the other woman’s words, but had gotten hung up, “She can tease you?”  
  
Snorting a laugh, Miranda shook her head. “Not in public.” She made sure to put as much ice as she could muster into her voice and keep her face perfectly still and serious.  
  
“I didn’t know you got along.” Andrea murmured.  
  
“That might be pushing it. I tolerate her and she knows how to weather the storms of Captain Priestly.” Miranda shook her head at Andrea’s continued shock, “I have offered her the transfer of her choice for the last ten journeys.”  
  
Running her hand through her brown locks, Andrea giggled. “Friendly as ever.”  
  
Miranda nodded at her, “It’s how you know I’m alright.” Reaching out, Miranda patted Andrea’s knee. “Yes, I keep having flashes of shadow memories as well.”  
  
Turning to face the Captain, Andrea’s heart double-timed as a frisson of desire went through her. “What do you suppose it means? Do you think we are still in the time loop?”  
  
Reaching up, Miranda let her thumb brush against Andrea’s lower lip as her fingertips cupped her cheek. “My current thought is that we are too stubborn to let the memories go and whoever, or whatever, put us in the loop had conditions that have not been met yet.” Her blue eyes darkened as Andrea’s lips pressed against her thumb.  
  
“Any idea how we can figure it out? It’s driving me crazy.” Taking Miranda’s hand into her own, Andrea kissed the palm and then lowered it down to her lap.  
  
Closing her eyes in an effort to keep her control, Miranda murmured, “I can’t think, Andrea.” She breathed deeply, only to groan in frustration when she was overwhelmed with the scents that combined to represent Andrea Sachs in her mind. “I can’t imagine.”  
  
Resting her forehead against Miranda’s, the brunette sighed. “Because of the draw between us, you mean.” Andrea shifted and nuzzled her nose against the older woman’s in a tender gesture. “I feel it too.”  
  
Pulling away, Miranda stood and paced in front of the couch. “Was it forced upon us?”  
  
Her words were pained, but Andrea wasn’t sure which direction the hurt was coming from. Standing, Andrea met Miranda as she paced back to her. Resting her hands on the older woman’s hips, Andrea answered with a question, “Do you want it to stop?”  
  
Frowning at that idea, Miranda tried to explain. “The connection between us is amazing in part because it seems to have seeped into us without our even realizing it. Being in your presence is intuitive now. I just know where to sit or how to reach out to you.” She smiled at Andrea and brought her hands up to rest on her shoulders. “However, I don’t like thinking we were manipulated.”  
  
Smiling in the way that generally meant mischief, Andrea offered her thoughts. “Maybe we would have eventually gotten here on our own? Maybe the time loop just pulled us out of the flow long enough for that connection to take root? I could see being manipulated to work together, to re-think our decisions vis-à-vis the Phyrochez, and to understand each other better. However, I don’t know if anyone could force either of us to have all of these feelings.”  
  
Arching a brow at the younger woman, Miranda sighed. “You seem awfully accepting of all this.”  
  
Shrugging, the brunette began to think aloud, “We keep having these shadow memories, especially as things happen that are similar but different to what might have happened in the time loop.” Andrea licked her lips and then continued. “Not all of them happen in the same way as the shadows. Yesterday, I performed surgery on Ensign Perez, but you remembered being my patient as well. What if, in the loop, I was the one against this forced companionship?”  
  
Miranda’s eyes scanned Andrea’s face soaking in every detail and storing them away for later perusal. “So I was the calm one?” Andrea nodded her answer. “How did I convince you to accept?”  
  
Shifting her feet forward, Andrea’s body brushed fully against Miranda’s. She brought her hand up to the nape of Miranda’s neck just where the white hair began. “With a kiss.” She murmured as she leaned the last bit forward to press their lips together.  
  
Andrea did not still herself with this action, rather she kissed gently over and over, shifting her position to taste Miranda’s lips, top and bottom, from side to side repeatedly. The older woman’s response was gradual as she pursed her lips in return to Andrea’s greeting, and then began to press against those questing lips in answer, and then as she sought more from Andrea by pressing the tip of her tongue between her lips in a gentle caress of Andrea’s lip. The younger woman shifted forward once more, with her right foot sliding between Miranda’s and her thigh slipping between the older woman’s legs. When Miranda shivered and then moaned into their kiss, Andrea tangled both of her hands into Miranda’s white hair. As their tongues twirled around each other, Miranda moaned and grasped Andrea’s loose shirt fabric in her fists.  
  
“Interface to Captain Priestly. Commander Kipling requests permission to set course toward Earth.” The calm tones of the computerized voice pulled them apart.  
  
Shaking her head to clear it, Miranda kept her arms around the younger woman. “Interface, give the Commander the okay to set the course.”  
  
The Interface chimed back, “Acknowledged.”  
  
Pulling back slightly, Andrea tried not to pout. “You have to go back, don’t you?”  
  
Nodding her head, Miranda tried to weave her Captain’s duties into this personal conversation. “Indeed. Lieutenant, I understand that your safety concerns were not reported or duly noted and am currently taking steps to correct the reasons why.” Miranda’s blue eyes shifted to that deeper color that Andrea associated with their personal times. “Starting with myself, Andrea, I want you to know that you can share concerns or ship’s ideas with me and that I will listen.” She smiled ruefully and acknowledged a truth between them, “I may not always take your suggestion, but I will listen fully.”  
  
Tears filled Andrea’s eyes as she thought of her fevered preparations of the escape pod and how she wanted to reach out to the Captain, but just didn’t feel certain their connection had truly changed to that extent. “I will reach out to you, Captain, and know that you will hear me.”  
  
With a quick nod of her head, the Captain continued on, “Your actions served to help crewmembers in a time of crisis. I will look into the laws surrounding modifying emergency equipment and launching it without orders. Regardless of what I find, your punishment will be taken care of with the consequence to be issued at this time.” Andrea bit her lip in anticipation and Miranda found it difficult to maintain the role she still needed. “For defiance and lack of communication, you will work with Charlton and Rockpere to modify a second pod and repair the first one. Additionally, you will work with the doctor to better prepare the crew for emergencies and outfit the shuttle. Perhaps a medical database in a handheld device to help navigate emergencies and be independent of the shuttle’s power systems.”  
  
Andrea couldn’t believe what she was hearing—her punishment was to repeat her actions and expand upon them. “Modify another escape pod and develop an emergency medical plan? That’s all?”  
  
Half smiling at Andrea’s surprise, Miranda added, “Until both tasks are complete, your navigation duties will fall to the other pilots, and except for Cargo Bay 1 and medical, you are confined to quarters.”  
  
Andrea pouted at those conditions, but knew she’d find a way to circumvent them.  
  
“Other than the Captain’s prerogative, you will follow those conditions, Lieutenant.” Miranda managed to keep a straight face, but laughed out loud as she saw Andrea’s mind light up with recognition of how she’d achieve freedom.  
  
“Yes, ma’am.” The brunette couldn’t help herself from smiling. Before the Captain could get too bristly at that address, Andrea pulled Miranda close and kissed her hard.

 

 

x


	32. Awkward Readiness

_**Bent Will. Part 32/36.**_  
  
Returning to the bridge, Miranda stopped at Emily’s station. It amused her that the red head was pouring over the schematics of the emergency pods and messaging with Malcom in Engineering. “Until further notice, Lieutenant Sachs has been assigned to you and Rockpere for the pod modifications.” The science officer turned wide blue eyes on her Captain and blinked uncertainly. “You should get started.” Miranda left Emily gaping like a fish as she strolled around the back of the bridge checking on the other officers and then taking her seat. It was hard not to smile when she heard Emily’s excited squeak behind her.  
  
“Captain.” Serena stood quickly from the command chair. When the Captain raised an eyebrow at her, the blonde paused and then realized what the question would be. “The Commander is in Cargo Bay 1 going over Pod 104.”  
  
Nodding her acceptance, Miranda settled into her seat. “Anything of note on long range sensors?”  
  
Serena answered as she returned to her station behind the Captain. “Until we get to the Contesalvus System it is a largely empty sector.”  
  
Miranda looked at the back of Kate Jasper’s head for several seconds in contemplation. The woman had joined the crew of the USS Hathaway during the demonstration trials demanded by Lieutenant Sachs. She even seemed friendly with the brunette who had swaggered her way onto the bridge and demanded a chance to skip the paperwork like some kind of outlaw from the American Wild West asking for a duel at daybreak. Yet, Kate Jasper had also submitted her paperwork through proper channels. She had been part of the demonstration challenges, because she was already in the vicinity. Consequently, Kate had not suffered any of the same stigma or rage from the Captain and those loyal to her. Well, except for Nigel taking Andrea under his wing a bit and Serena not truly insulting her.  
  
Andrea brought the Captain’s wrath on her own head and yet knowing what she knew now, Miranda wondered what her life and career would have been like if she had been able to take a deeper look on occasion. Looking back always showed the obvious signs. In this case, it should have been easily noticed that beyond the young brunette’s bravado was an officer in pain on multiple levels. Her injuries had been less than her colleagues, but they were still apparent as Miranda reviewed her memories. Insisting on the demonstration trials had been an emotionally dangerous and desperate way to prove herself worthy as well as get out ahead of any rumors or scandal.  
  
“Jocelyn, will you cover navigation?” Miranda stood to ask her secondary science officer and one time student of Sachs’ pilot program.  
  
Kate Jasper turned around, “Captain?”  
  
Waving her arm to the side, Miranda indicated her wishes. “Kate, join me in the ready room?”  
  
Once the door swooshed closed behind her, Kate Jasper felt her nerves flexing. The full attention of this legendary Captain could be a dangerous thing. Clasping her hands in front of her, Lieutenant Jasper watched the Captain move toward the energy bay. She was relieved when the Captain retrieved two glasses of water and led the way over to the informal seating area of her ready room. She knew she didn’t have anything to be nervous about, yet at the same time she wasn’t too keen on being called into the Captain’s office.  
  
“I will get to the point shortly, so be patient.” The Captain took a sip of her water and then set it down on the low table in front of her. “For now, I’d like to know a little more about you.” Miranda made sure to look at the Lieutenant in a way that allowed her curiosity to come through, and slightly diminished her usual intimidating intensity. “How well did you know Andrea before you came on board?”  
  
Tilting her head at the rare use of her colleague’s first name, Kate found herself relaxing. Whatever this interview was about, it wasn’t really about her or her job performance. “I was two years behind Andy in the Academy. She befriended me before I knew who she was and I’m so glad because otherwise I would have been too in awe of her.”  
  
The Captain crossed one leg over the other and clasped her hands in her lap. “I’m not sure I understand.” She quietly responded.  
  
“Before I started at the Academy, I was on campus trying to get my bearings. Andy introduced herself and then took me on the best tour I could have ever asked for. She told me what to look out for as far as upperclassmen playing pranks on newbies and not buying into all the hype.” Kate paused to gauge her Captain’s interest level. “Pilots are competitive for good reason—their performance could be the difference between life and death on a daily basis. She told me that the only person who mattered was myself. ‘Records are nice,’ she said, ‘but out in the real world the only thing that mattered was keeping a clear head and keeping the craft safe.’ Because of the timing of when she told me that, I was always able to focus on myself instead of others. I also watched firsthand how she participated in the trash talking and challenging that the others did, but really reflected on her own performance.”  
  
Once again seeing Andrea in a new light, Miranda tapped her fingers against her mouth. “Did you keep in touch with Andrea when she left the academy?”  
  
Shaking her head sadly, Kate thought about how best to explain without giving too much of Andrea’s privacy away. “By her final year, she was a legend and we rarely got to really talk to each other. Her boyfriend had been kicked out of the academy. He had been in the command track, but something went down on a training mission and then he was gone.” Kate shrugged. It had been one of those things where the rumors had plenty of salacious details, but enough contradictions to recognize that no one really knew what happened. With confidentiality what it was, Kate had recognized that the truth of what had transpired would never really be known. “I knew she was still flying because I’d hear stories or see her on occasion in a bar being treated like a Nod.”  
  
Miranda repeated the shortened title wanting Jasper to elaborate.  
  
“There was a real hot shot group that had gone through the Academy three years before Andrea’s class. They held just about every record and honor on campus. People called them the Flying Nods and people went out of their way to break their records or at least follow in their footsteps.” Kate’s voice held a hint of sadness as she continued. “Even beyond the academy, the Nods were incredibly accomplished. Most of them have outgrown the wildness of those times. Or perhaps they have been promoted beyond it?” She shrugged uncertainly and then continued. “A few of them became the victims of their own daring.” A tear leaked from Jasper’s eye and slipped down her cheek.  
  
Stepping away to retrieve the tissue box, Miranda apologized. “I’m sorry to have troubled you, Kate.”  
  
Wiping at her eyes with the tissue, Kate sighed. “It’s okay. Just.” She sniffed a bit. “My older brother’s best friend was one of the Nods who took things too far and didn’t survive.”  
  
Miranda wondered how she wanted to approach her next points with the younger woman. “Do you know why Andrea pushed to join the Hathaway the way she did?”  
  
Shaking her head at that, Kate let out a choked laugh. “No, Captain. I don’t know what possessed her. I ran into her in the hospital when I was going in for a checkup. When I told her about applying for a transfer to the USS Hathaway with a departure within the week, she swore and asked if the application deadline had already closed. We didn’t talk after that because she excused herself. I found out later that she raced over to challenge you.” Kate lifted her hand in the air and then let it drop. “I was so flabbergasted when I got the message that demonstration trials were going to be held.”  
  
Reaching for her glass again, Miranda took a careful sip of water and set it back down. “I can only guess what your brother’s friend did that cost his life, and I cannot share what would worry Andrea to the point of modifying that escape pod.” Miranda let her words hang for several seconds, before she continued. “But you are a smart young woman and I expect that you can figure it out.” Miranda watched as the cogs in the Lieutenant’s brain clicked into place, then she moved to her next phase of conversation. “I will be taking steps to make sure that everyone on this crew knows I will listen to their concerns and suggestions. It will not be easy, but we will work on it. What I will ask from the crew is that they think things through. I know that you helped the Commander and his team with the challenge race, especially when Andrea wanted to focus on safety. In the future, I expect you to think through why your fellow pilot might be concerned. I expect you to look at the scenario from all angles and make sure safety is not forgotten on the path to excitement.”  
  
Spine straight as she looked steadily at the Captain, Kate Jasper nodded her head. “Aye, Captain. I understand.”  
  
Glad that the Lieutenant had been quick on the uptake, the Captain offered her last piece of information. “Lieutenant Sachs will be working with the team to modify another escape pod. Then she will be coordinating with the doctor to put measures in place for better crisis management.” Kate had not relaxed from her attentive posture, but she did blink her eyes quickly as she took in the Captain’s announcements. “You have the full navigational responsibilities at this point, so adjust your schedule and the beta and gamma pilots’ as well. You’ll have to notify gamma who is going to step into the position. I anticipate a two-week interval.”  
  
Kate wasn’t sure whether she should stand or stay seated until she was dismissed. She wanted to bolt from the room and begin sending messages to the other pilots so that they would be aware and shift their lives accordingly. “Understood, Captain.”  
  
Seeing the awkward readiness in her companion, Miranda took mercy on her and stood. “Andrea is available for consult on that third pilot position.” Kate’s face shone with relief. “Dismissed.”  
  
  


 

x


	33. Hyperactive Octopus

_**Bent Will. Part 33/36.**_  
  
Emily Charlton had retrieved Andrea at her quarters several hours ago. The woman who could barely look at her without an eye roll had turned into her biggest fan over night. That in itself was surreal—for her to have brought along the head of engineering, well, that was just insane. Emily and Malcom had so many questions for her that she began to wonder if they would ever stop. After she gave an answer, the two of them consulted and then scurried off to improve on Andrea’s original mish mash version and then bring it back to her for some kind of approval. More than once, Andrea wondered if there wasn’t another punishment that she’d rather serve. It was just too weird.  
  
When Lieutenant Kate Jasper wandered into the cargo bay with her wide eyes full of wonder, Andrea fleetingly hoped that her fellow pilot had come to save her. Instead she brought a list of the pilots available and questions about how best to cover navigation for at least two weeks.  
  
When the other red head left, Andrea made her way across the cargo bay to a workbench. She easily hoisted herself up on the bench and let her feet dangle.  
  
Emily looked up from installing the miniature communications system and then huffed as she pulled out a connection, wires and all. She brought the component over to Andrea at the bench. “There you are.” The science officer rolled her eyes. “Had to be lazy all the way over here, hmm?”  
  
Andrea smiled at the infuriating woman. That catty comment had finally been a bit of normalcy. She wanted to hug the woman, but knew that would put them into a whole new category of bizarre.  
  
“How did you possibly connect this to the existing circuitry of the pod?” Emily waved the item at the brunette and the wires swung forward like some kind of hyperactive octopus.  
  
“Guess you didn’t get too deep into my pod then.” Andrea couldn’t help her antagonizing comment as she jumped down from the bench. It was just too much fun to poke at the harsh edges of the woman. Besides, it made her feel a little less like the universe had inverted.  
  
*** *** ***  
  
Andrea would never know if it was fatigue or some other kind of shock, but by the end of the day she felt like she was working among kindred spirits. They asked Andrea’s opinion, thought aloud in front of her, and shared their rationale for making a change when she furrowed her brow. She wasn’t sure what it would mean, or if it would all go away in their sleep, but she hoped that it was finally the beginning of the long thaw between her and the rest of the Hathaway’s crew.  
  
In many ways, Andrea had healed from the trauma of the competition course accident, the loss of her lover, and the alienation of her closest friends; however, it had been a long, cold year in the shadow of Captain Priestly’s displeasure. Everyone on the ship either worshipped the corridor carpeting that she stalked on—or they were unwilling to draw her attention in any way out of fear or apathy. Befriending the cocky pilot who couldn’t be bothered with applying for the job properly had not been high on anyone’s radar. Sure, Nigel had befriended her in his own strange and sarcastic way, but that wasn’t exactly the same as a high five from a true friend or just a nod in the hallway that you could count on. It had been good to see Jasper again. It even warmed her heart that the younger woman had become an ace pilot without going to the same crazy competitive extremes of so many others. Distinguished, not dead—it was the way to do things, really. Still, they had never been the kind to share their thoughts and feelings.  
  
At first Andrea hadn’t wanted anyone. She just wanted to fly. Later, she hadn’t wanted to pull Jasper into the pile of shit she had created for herself with the Captain and all of her lackeys. She had made her own situation and that was all there was to it. Leaning back against the couch cushions in her living room space, Andrea ran her hand through her hair and let out a deep sigh. She’d just have to see if this new leaf in her work life would continue to grow or not.  
  
The chime on her quarters sounded and Andrea stood. Pressing the button for entry before the person would get impatient and chime again, Andrea’s jaw dropped. “Miranda?” Realizing they were standing in her doorway, the brunette squeaked, “Um, Captain.”  
  
Unwilling to hang out in the corridor, Miranda motioned for Andrea to step back. Letting the door swoosh closed behind her, the older woman smiled. “Andrea.” She reached for the brunette’s hand when she saw the tension leave the younger woman’s frame. “Have you had dinner?”  
  
Turning around, Andrea pulled Miranda by their joined hands. “To tell you the truth, I couldn’t have even told you if I was hungry when I first got back.” She pulled Miranda to sit next to her on the couch.  
  
“The terrible two tuckered you out?” Miranda asked with a gleam in her eye. “You know they haven’t been this excited about a project since we tried to replicate the interplanetary transporters from the Acropotarians.”  
  
Andrea blinked hard and fixed her attention on Miranda’s blue eyes. “They brought that back to Alpha?” When the silver haired woman nodded, the brunette added, “That revolutionized transport within the Milky Way.”  
  
Miranda chuckled and reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind Andrea’s ear. “They couldn’t figure out the final piece until we docked and they had to move Earthside while we retrofitted the Hathaway. We only had five days of shore leave and they used it to work.”  
  
Scooting close to her companion, Andrea corrected the woman. “No, they changed the galaxy.” She smiled as she settled against Miranda’s side.  
  
*** *** ***  
  
On the fifth day of her exile from the bridge, Andrea walked into the cargo bay to find it empty. Glad to be out of her quarters, yet alone for the first time in a few days, Andrea stepped closer to the pod. For all the similarities to her original pod, this one would be in a new class. She wondered if they would be able to share the design with other ships destined for long journeys similar to those that the Hathaway was routinely sent on. Opening the access panel, Andrea couldn’t help the shiver of recognition as her reality shifted once again—her work inspired and challenged the same people who made interplanetary transporters a reality.  
  
“What are you, nostalgic?” The dry voice of the doctor spooked the brunette into jumping. He thought this was hilarious enough to stop his progression across the room.  
  
Andrea turned to glare at him. “I was enjoying the peace and quiet.” Andrea made sure to emphasize the key words to her answer without bothering to reply to his dim-witted question.  
  
Shrugging off his annoyance, the bald man stepped forward. “I didn’t come all the way down here to enjoy the silence, Lieutenant.”  
  
For a moment, Andrea wondered what mouthing off to Dr. Joens would do for her punishment. Immediately, she could see the twisted joy Miranda would take in requiring her to complete her original project with the doctor despite the animosity. Biting back several replies, Andrea went with the rather banal, “I didn’t know I was working with you today.”  
  
Stepping over to the worktable set up by Charlton and Rockpere, the doctor sighed. “Your absence in medical was telling.”  
  
If working with Emily and Malcom sucked the energy out of her with their intensity and hard physical labor, then working with the doctor would be the mental and emotional suffering portion of the punishment. Andrea wondered if it would really take another nine days to complete both projects, or if she’d just kill him in a few hours and have to escape in the newly modified pod.  
  
*** *** ***  
  
Four days later, Andrea crawled into her bed as soon as she could escape her captors. Charlton and Rockpere had finished the majority of the modifications, but were continuing to fuss over details that made Andrea’s eyes roll back up into her head. She spent the majority of her time arguing with the doctor about what should go into the array of medical devices, supplies, and handheld Medical Interface data. More than once, she had forced the man to crawl into the pod and shut him into it in order to drive her point home. The amount of space inside the pod could not change—they could only modify interior panels so much. Beyond that they had to choose wisely for the most universal solution to a wide variety of barely imaginable scenarios.  
  
Startled awake, Andrea frowned as she shifted and felt wetness at the corner of her mouth. Shoving the pillow in a different direction, she settled her head down again. It was dark and she was warm. She had not woken up enough to look around for the source of disturbance.  
  
Before she could fully sink back into the fullness of sleep, the door chime sounded again. This time the brunette was fully pulled into the waking world with a groan.  
  
Opening the door, her jaw dropped at the sight of her Captain—no, there was no Captain there, she was seeing Miranda. The sexy black, sleeveless dress revealed very little, while at the same time it drew the eye over each curve and caused Andrea’s fingers to tingle with want. “Miranda.” Her name was a breathless prayer answering a dream.  
  
The side of Miranda’s mouth curled up in a sultry smile that just about short-circuited Andrea’s sleep befuddled brain. “Come to dinner with me, Andrea?”  
  
Suddenly awake, Andrea backed away from the door, “Ready in five.” Stealing a quick kiss on the lips, the younger woman dashed off.

 

 

x


	34. Horrified and Amused

_**Bent Will. Part 34/36.**_  
  
When the door opened, Andrea gasped and looked at Miranda and then back into the room again. Stepping forward, Andrea nearly tripped as gazed about in wonder. Fabric had been draped over light features and other scaffolding to create a cozy effect. In the center of the room a table and two chairs were lit by a candle. Two plates waited for them under stasis lids and a bottle of wine had been left to breathe in between two glasses. Stepping in a slow circle, Andrea watched her lover slide a fabric panel to cover the doorway. “What is this place?”  
  
Stepping into the brunette’s personal space, Miranda rested her hands on Andrea’s hips. “This,” she bit her lip to hold back a giggle, before continuing. “Well, this was Counselor Meigle’s office.”  
  
It took Andrea a few seconds of imitating a gold fish to realize what the older woman meant. “Oh, you didn’t.” She shook her head in denial. “What did she say to you?”  
  
Rubbing her thumbs up and down the curve of Andrea’s hips, Miranda beamed back at her. Placing her hands akimbo on her hips, Miranda stepped backward and held her chin high. “I am Captain Priestly—the woman so ruthless they have to keep her out on deep space missions so that she doesn’t crush the dreams of whole classes of cadets.”  
  
Simultaneously deeply horrified and amused, Andrea gaped at her.  
  
Dropping her stance after several seconds, Miranda laughed. “Your reaction was priceless, dear.” Motioning toward the table, the older woman removed the stasis lids from their meals and then poured their wine. “You’ll be disappointed to find out that it was an easy trade.”  
  
Looking around the room again as she settled into her seat, Andrea could tell that it was a rather large square with no en suite, living room, or bedroom. She supposed that opposite the doorway a window looked out into the starlight. “Seems like a steep trade.” She observed, before looking into Miranda’s blue eyes again. “A story over dinner then?” Andrea prompted her companion.  
  
“Jordanna rarely uses her office. Every now and then I remind her that it exists and she makes an effort to use it for a few appointments, so that I don’t reassign the ship’s space to another purpose.”  
  
Andrea thought about the session in her quarters. It would have been awkward for her to come to a stranger’s office in order to share her past and the troubles she still worried over because of it. “It might not have been a huge sacrifice for her to trade you, but you have to be careful with owing favors to the crew.”  
  
Taking her glass in her hand, Miranda looked down to watch it swirl a moment. “She wanted more details about you and I, which she would have wheedled out of me eventually anyway.”  
  
Andrea took her glass in hand as well before she quipped, “Yep. Totally disappointed in that trade.”  
  
Miranda took a sip of her wine and hummed her appreciation. “The best part was getting her to decorate.”  
  
Holding her glass up, Andrea offered, “To good trades.”  
  
Answering that toast with another, Miranda added, “To shadow memories.”  
  
*** *** ***  
  
The culminating event of her punishment had Andrea voluntarily strapping into the newly minted Rescue Pod for a test drive. Emily and Malcom made Andrea promise to put them at the top of her list for new trainee pilots once they realized that they would not likely ever get to actually fly their prototype.  
  
Returning back to Cargo Bay 1, Andrea teased, “You know it would be smarter to rig two of these for racing, so that the Doctor could be on board the real shuttle.”  
  
Out of sight on the bridge, Miranda shook her head and glared at the universe. “Need I remind you that you are not yet cleared for duty, Lieutenant Sachs?”  
  
Laughing to herself, Andrea signaled to Emily and Malcom to see if they wanted her to power down. “No, Captain. Although my assigned tasks are complete.” Andrea carefully kept her amusement out of her voice.  
  
“The first two tasks on your list, you mean, Lieutenant.” Miranda could play word games all day. However, when Nigel had to bite his fist and literally get up and walk around the bridge in order to stifle his laughter, she had a harder time keeping a straight face.  
  
“As you wish, Captain. Ten more labors then? Shall I can bring back the hide of the Nemean Lion?” Andrea hoped beyond all hope that her lover was in a good mood on the bridge and truly as comfortable with their relationship as she had been in private over the last two weeks.  
  
“If you ma’am me, Ensign Sachs, you will have a more creative punishment.” Miranda shrugged when Nigel let his jaw drop open in shock. He already knew anyway. Why he was making it a big deal was beyond her. “What are you gaping at?” She asked once he had returned to his chair.  
  
“You are never this open on the bridge.” Nigel murmured.  
  
Waving her hand vaguely in his direction, Miranda sighed. “First time I’ve had something worth sharing.” She shifted in her chair to look at him before adding, “Like there is anyone left to whom my relationship with Andrea is still a secret.”  
  
Wisely saying nothing further, Nigel nodded his head.  
  
*** *** ***  
  
The warmth from her fellow bridge officers nearly brought Andrea to tears as she returned to the bridge the following day. Serena had carefully remained neutral in her interactions, but her new smile for the pilot made it clear that the great thaw had truly taken hold. Emily had sniffed at her and then chuckled, which was better than if she had been saccharine sweet anyway. Nigel looked guilty as he welcomed her back to the bridge with a pat on the shoulder. Andrea didn’t know what to say to him. She had considered him a friend, but Miranda had been right—she still hadn’t trusted him with her fears once the competition planning began.  
  
Thankful for a navigation day that required her to pay attention, Andrea had settled into her work with relish. It had been invigorating to modify the pod with the experts and challenge the doctor to minimize and maximize at the same time, but she truly loved being at the helm of a star ship.  
  
A couple hours before the end of the shift, Miranda had sought out the quiet of her ready room to catch up on paperwork. Andrea wondered if they would continue to see each other in the evenings or if that had been the only way to see each other while she was confined to quarters.  
  
“Lieutenant Sachs, report to the ready room.” The voice of the Captain on the Interface system caused a series of snickers to echo around the bridge.  
  
Andrea felt her face heat up, but couldn’t have stopped her own smile if she had tried.  
  
“I thought it was Ensign Sachs.” Emily sneered from the science console at the back of the bridge. “Ow! Serena! I was kidding.”  
  
Looking over at the pair, Andrea rolled her eyes and flashed a universal hand signal their direction.  
  
*** *** ***  
  
Having called for her lover to join her in the ready room, Miranda made her way over to the door. As soon as Andrea stepped past her hiding place, Miranda grabbed her from behind and held her close. It had been a bizarre kind of torture having her lover returned to the bridge. For two weeks, she had missed the other woman’s presence at the navigation console in front of her. Yet, now that the brunette had returned to her post, it was beyond difficult for her to not reach out and touch her.  
  
Chuckling, Andrea held the arms around her in an odd hugging back gesture. “Miss me?”  
  
Breathing in the scent of Andrea’s hair, the older woman hummed. “I missed you on the bridge like crazy, but having you here today and out of reach was awful.”  
  
Unwrapping herself, the brunette pulled Miranda to her for a passion filled kiss. When she pulled back, she nuzzled Miranda’s nose with her own. “We are going to have to figure something out, aren’t we?”  
  
Stealing several almost chaste kisses, Miranda sighed. “Everyone knows.”  
  
Swallowing the giddy wave coursing through her body at those simple words, Andrea focused on the work topic instead of the unspoken, but readily acknowledged feelings. “True enough, but that doesn’t change the fact that we only got through about two-thirds of a shift actually on the bridge together.”  
  
Miranda pouted like a kid whose toy had been taken away. “Andrea.” Her eyes searched the younger woman’s suddenly worried about her meaning.  
  
“Miranda, you know that I cannot be on the bridge for the same shift as you on a regular basis.” Realizing that her companion was tensing up and then easing away from her, Andrea held her still by her shoulders. “Miranda, don’t pull away. I am with you and don’t want to change that. However, I don’t want to be the reason that the infamous Captain Priestly has to spend half of her shift in her ready room.”  
  
Only partially assured, the older woman practically whispered her question, “What do you suggest, Andrea?”  
  
Shaking her head at the almost inconceivable suggestion she was making, Andrea whispered back. “With Irina having her baby, Malcom is short in engineering. As the last two weeks have shown, there are enough pilots to render me obsolete.”  
  
Miranda blinked at her girlfriend before the information from Andrea’s file clicked into place. “You chose navigation over engineering for a reason, Andrea.”  
  
Giving a lopsided smile, Andrea assured her love. “I choose you.” After a pause where her words sunk in, Andrea continued. “You know that I could not have finished my engineering program if I didn’t also love it. So I’ll take the occasional navigation shift and offer to pilot most of the away missions.”  
  
Truly touched by Andrea’s words, Miranda murmured, “I love you.”  
  
Her face alight with a smile, Andrea blushed and then rushed out, “Iloveyoutoo.”  
  
After several minutes and a brief walk to the wall where Andrea gasped upon hitting it and then laughed, Miranda gave her final order for the day, “Now that you’re a free woman, Andrea. You should take me to dinner.”

 

 

x


	35. No Further Plans

_**Bent Will. Part 35/36.**_  
  
Walking down the corridor, Andrea brushed her hand against Miranda’s a few times in order to gauge her reaction to being public in their affection. Their relationship had been nurtured mostly in private, yet there had been obvious changes in their interactions since the incident with the Phyrochez. Nothing was being hidden, yet it really wasn’t out in the open either. Andrea smiled hard enough to hurt her face when Miranda firmly took her hand and held on as they continued walking. It was such a simple gesture, but it was powerful for them both.  
  
The mess hall never would have the reputation onboard a ship of being romantic. However, the gesture of taking their relationship out of the private bubble and into the public space of the ship truly caught at Andrea’s heart. She was not going to be a secret affair that would end in tears or scandal. Taking it all in stride, Miranda slowly warmed to the notion of the mess hall as being date worthy as she observed Andrea radiating happiness and her crew showing various small signs of acceptance. She wasn’t sure she had ever received as many nods or greetings as she had for this single meal. Not only that, but the crewmembers naturally had included Andrea in their salutations. A few brave souls had even come over to congratulate her on the rescue pod design and express their desire to learn more about it.  
  
“What are you smiling so hard for?” Miranda injected as much fire into her voice as she could, but knew she had failed when Nigel simply plopped down in the seat next to her.  
  
“Me?” The bald man widened his eyes and did his best to appear innocent. It was belied by the twinkle in his eyes when he glanced at Andrea.  
  
“Yes, you.” Miranda elbowed him in the ribs. “This is a date.”  
  
Nigel looked between the two women and then around at the crowd in the mess hall. “No, my dear. This is practically a wedding.” When both women blushed, Nigel continued to share his thoughts. “For the first time you have shared yourself with the crew. What have you noticed?”  
  
Miranda looked around taking in the various couples and groups at the tables. People did not seem to be surreptitiously watching them or discussing them. A few caught her eye and smiled or nodded, just in the course of their conversations. She had been slowly changing ever since the Phyrochez Incident, but now she realized that walking the corridors hand in hand with Andrea she felt a warmth from the crew that had been lacking before. Her crew had always been dedicated and pushed themselves to the very limits, but it had always been cold and businesslike. “I have always run a tight ship and had a dedicated crew.” Miranda narrowed her eyes when Nigel and Andrea both had to hold back snorts of laughter. “It’s hard to quantify, but I think it’s been slowly changing over the last several weeks. Before it was all about success and perfection, and now there is an element of warm camaraderie. They have accepted Andrea because I have adapted, and not only that, but they have welcomed the changes in myself.”  
  
Nigel didn’t stay long, but Miranda realized that she had been happy to share their table with him.  
  
*** *** ***  
  
“Lieutenant?” Miranda felt decidedly girlish as the flirty tone escaped her mouth.  
  
“Yes, Captain.” Andrea smoothed the muscles in her face in order to keep her tone serious. She kept her eyes forward as they walked down the corridor arm in arm as well.  
  
“Are you walking me to my door?” The silver haired lady bit her lower lip in order to remain flirting instead of laughing.  
  
Stepping into the turbo lift, Andrea lowered her arm to slip free from her date. “Well, I had only gotten as far as the turbo lift in my planning.”  
  
Miranda turned into her companion as the door slid shut. “Is that so?” She purred into Andrea’s ear before she pressed her tongue against her neck and gently bit down.  
  
Letting her head fall back, the brunette pulled Miranda with her as she stepped back toward the wall of the turbo lift. Miranda slipped a hand up between them to press against Andrea’s breast and the younger woman barely held in a moan. Teeth scraping her neck and a thumb teasing her nipple, the younger woman simply pulled her companion closer. Andrea’s hands cupped the globes of Miranda’s ass and pressed her against the thigh that had slipped forward. Feeling Miranda’s body shiver against her as her legs clenched around her thigh, Andrea instinctively pressed up into her love.  
  
Putting her free hand over Andrea’s shoulder on the wall, Miranda pulled back to look into Andrea’s face. The move tilted her hips against Andrea’s leg sending another wave of pleasure through her body. “Andrea.” Her face was contorted with joy and her voice was barely contained in a whisper. The lift came to a stop and with an impressive display of control, the older woman pushed away from her young love.  
  
Andrea wasn’t sure her legs would hold her after seeing the captain so close to losing control. She could still feel the heat of the other woman’s body pressed against her, the heat of her sex riding her thigh, and her thumb pressing just over her nipple again and again.  
  
The Captain faced the door and stood a little in front of her date.  
  
By the time the door slid open, Lieutenant Sachs regained enough composure to twine their fingers together.  
  
The tall blonde blinked once and then smiled fully at the couple. Her blue eyes twinkled with more knowledge than the couple was quite ready for, but that only served to further amuse Serena. “Captain.” She nodded first at Miranda, as she took in the way her cheeks were flushed and her pupils blown. “Lieutenant.” Serena resisted the urge to give the pilot a ‘thumbs up,’ even though she could tell from the shallow teeth marks on her neck that she deserved a salute.  
  
*** *** ***  
  
Neither woman spoke as they proceeded down the corridor and then turned to the small hallway before the Captain’s quarters. If Andrea had any doubts, she only had to pay attention to the fingers slotted in between hers the entire time. Miranda punched in her entry code and waited for the door to open. Andrea kept her breathing steady and smoothed her palms against her dress so that she did not reach for the other woman. After a few steps into her quarters, Miranda turned and noticed the younger woman hovering at the threshold. “Andrea?” She murmured as she stepped close to her lover.  
  
“I’m all out of plans.” Andrea blushed as she referenced their earlier joking conversation.  
  
Leaning against the doorway, Miranda tilted her head and smirked. “No further plans, hmm?”  
  
Cupping the older woman’s cheek, Andrea leaned forward and gave her a sweet kiss. “Well, asking for a goodnight kiss did seem redundant.”  
  
Wrapping her arm around Andrea’s hips, Miranda pulled her against her body and into her quarters. “I find it hard to believe my secret planner has run out of ideas.” Before Andrea could refute that statement, Miranda claimed her lips in a passionate kiss.  
  
Using their writhing momentum, Andrea turned them until Miranda was pressed hard against the wall next to the doorframe. Surprised by the cool wall against the low back of her dress, Miranda broke the kiss with a gasp. “Now, I didn’t say I didn’t have any ideas.” Andrea smirked as she ran her fingertips up and down the older woman’s sides. “Just no specific plan.” The brunette kissed along Miranda’s jaw line, down her neck with a bite or two in repayment, and then finally she began to trace down the v-neck of her navy blue dress.  
  
“If you had no plan, I thought I might give some orders.” Miranda breathed out as she let her head hit the wall behind her. Andrea’s fingers had slipped behind her back where they fumbled with her zipper. Thrusting her chest forward, she facilitated zipper access and teased Andrea with her breasts.  
  
“Well, if this emerging plan doesn’t satisfy…” Andrea murmured against the lace covering Miranda’s breast, while her hands pulled the dress apart and then down Miranda’s toned body. “You can order me to change it.” Wasting no time with a willing Captain, Andrea unclasped her bra and slipped it down and away like the dress. Holding Miranda steady with her hands, Andrea kneeled down and looked up to take in the beauty of her lover flushed with desire. Miranda's breasts jostled with each breath, her nipples hardening in anticipation of firmer touch, and her lips kiss swollen from Andrea’s passion.  
  
“Andrea?” Her body thrumming with the need of Andrea’s touch, Miranda looked down where her lover had paused too long. She wasn’t sure where the insecurity came from, but for a split second she wondered if Andrea had reached a point where her admiration faltered.  
  
“Is this too fast?” The adoration in Andrea’s brown eyes could not be mistaken for anything else.  
  
Miranda cupped her cheek as she considered their unique situation. “Perhaps for our first date the answer would be yes. However, we have been approaching this moment for months now.” Looking down at her remaining attire, Miranda stepped carefully out of her dress. Circling Andrea, she patted her shoulder. “Come with me.”

 

 

x


	36. Surreal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :) I really have enjoyed going through this one again to re-post it.

_**Bent Will. Part 36/36.**_  
  
The darkness of the bedroom caused Andrea’s heart to flutter that tiny extra bit faster. Miranda followed Andrea’s arm up until she could safely reach for her face. Then she pulled her in for a kiss that had them both giggling as they missed and kissed noses and cheeks for a few floundering seconds. Miranda wasted no time stepping close to her lover in order to reach around and expertly navigate the zipper of her dress. Helping Andrea to step out of it and then slip out of her bra, Miranda savored the precious feeling of their bare breasts slipping against the other. “Oh, Miranda.” Fell from Andrea’s lips like a plea for mercy—her legs would soon not be able to hold her up.  
  
Sucking Andrea’s lip into her own, Miranda pressed her teeth against it as she pulled away. “Yes, dear.” Miranda purred in response before she stepped away to retrieve her robe. Wrapping it around Andrea’s shoulders caused the younger woman to shiver. Chuckling, Miranda ordered, “Step out of your shoes, Andrea.” Then she pulled her toward the bed.  
  
Feeling the bed against the side of her leg, Andrea swallowed and licked her lips in anticipation. When Miranda stepped away from her, she whined in protest. After a handful of seconds, a small light on the bedside table illuminated the space. Looking at the bed and then what she could now see of the room, Andrea shook her head. “I remember the bed being lower.” When Miranda looked at her curiously, Andrea elaborated. “I’ve never been here, have I? It’s another shadow memory.”  
  
Unable to stay away from Andrea now that they had found each other, Miranda wrapped an arm around her lover as she stood close. “It’s hazy, but I think it goes with the surgery shadow memory.”  
  
Sighing, Andrea pulled Miranda close and kissed her collarbone. She was shorter than Miranda, who was still in her heels. “And a total mood killer.” She laughed and kissed Miranda on the lips. “Do you think we, you know, in the time loop?” The brunette couldn’t help but ask as she sat down on the bed and grinned up at her.  
  
Carefully kicking her heels toward the bedside table, so they would not present a tripping hazard later, Miranda motioned for Andrea to scoot back on the bed. Holding her robe, she eased one knee next to Andrea’s legs and then lowered herself to straddle her lover. Loosening the tie of her robe, Miranda settled her palms on Andrea’s shoulders. “I’m certain we would have shadow memories, if we had ever done anything like this.”  
  
Unable to resist, Andrea’s hands landed on Miranda’s thighs. Eagerly she explored the edge of the silk robe where it slid against the smooth fabric of the older woman’s stockings. Enjoying the teasing progression, Miranda slid her hands into Andrea’s long brown tresses. Daring to go all the way up, Andrea found the top of the thigh high stockings and hissed as her fingers caressed bare skin. She pulled the robe open in order to feast her eyes on the lingerie picture in front of her.  
  
Rolling her hips in invitation, Miranda pulled Andrea’s face against her chest.  
  
Heeding the unspoken order, Andrea began to kiss and bite the fabric-covered breasts before her. Slowly she slipped her left hand under the fabric of the robe and slid it up to reveal a hardened nipple. As her tongue stroked over the darker areola and drew a hiss from Miranda, her lower hand cupped the heat between Miranda’s legs and a finger slipped around the edge of lace to delve into the moisture gathering there.  
  
“Yes.” Miranda hissed as she rolled her hips to seek deeper contact with the additional fingers Andrea was teasing her with. A long guttural moan slipped up from her lungs as teeth tugged on her nipple and two fingers slid against her throbbing sex. “Andrea.”  
  
Squeezing her own thighs together, the brunette kissed her way over to the other nipple while her first finger and thumb pressed and pulled on Miranda’s already tortured nipple. She adjusted her angle and wished Miranda’s panties were gone, but knew she wouldn’t stop now. Curling her fingers, Andrea sucked the nipple into her mouth wanting to bring as much pleasure to her lover as possible.  
  
For many moments, Andrea pumped her fingers making Miranda tremble with each pass. Miranda clawed at Andrea’s shoulders as she whimpered, moaned, and rocked forward and back against those fabulous fingers. Just when her wrist was beginning to cramp, Andrea felt Miranda’s body tense and release twice before she wailed and crashed forward onto Andrea her whole body convulsing in a powerful orgasm.  
  
Smothered on the mattress, Andrea shifted so that Miranda lay diagonally atop her as she continued to ride out the waves of her ecstasy. Even when Miranda had let out a few shuddering breaths and curled against her, the brunette kept her fingers in place. “Andrea, that was wonderful.” Miranda kissed her arm and hair as she reveled in the afterglow.  
  
Slowly pulling away, she kept her fingers pressed against Miranda’s clit. After several seconds of the aching pulse pressed against the pads of her fingers, Miranda’s body once again tensed and rolled with another wave of pleasure. Miranda was helpless against the onslaught of aftershocks that her young lover pulled from her.  
  
Temporarily sated, the couple drifted in and out of consciousness for many minutes. Eventually, Andrea motioned for them to shift from their sideways diagonal position on the bed. Miranda stood and dropped her robe completely. She slipped off her stockings and panties as well. Andrea sat up and shrugged out of her robe. Miranda kneeled down beside the bed and rolled her stockings down and off before she kissed each thigh as she reached for Andrea’s panties. Lifting up, Andrea made it possible to pull them over her hips and then down her legs.  
  
Miranda kissed up each thigh until she could go no further. Looking up at her lover, Miranda tugged her legs forward with a definitive pull. Resuming her kissing, Miranda teased Andrea’s nether lips with her tongue and lips while her fingertips slowly scratched their way up her thighs. Andrea wanted to watch her lover, but could not hold herself up once Miranda’s long slender fingers expertly explored her sex and her mouth had begun to suck on her clit with a maddening pulse of her tongue in accompaniment. Falling back on the bed, Andrea clutched at the bedding as her hips bucked against the relentless pace of Miranda’s attentions.  
  
Knowing that her lover had to be close, Miranda reached up to tweak the nipples she had only barely had a moment to appreciate before. Breathing deeply through her nose, Miranda focused her suction and tongue on the clit throbbing in her mouth, as she stretched Andrea to her limit. Her own sex clenched once more at the thought of how tight Andrea felt.  Willing Andrea to come on her unspoken command, Miranda pinched hard, sucked fully, and plunged deeply. To her delight the already tight muscles around her fingers flexed hard, her mouth lost its place when Andrea’s hips bucked, and her hand was gripped tightly by the brunette.  
  
Miranda crawled up her young lover’s body, not allowing her to even recover from her climax as she stretched their joined hands over her head. Kissing Andrea’s neck, Miranda began to bite and suck in a mindless pattern. She slipped her fingers from Andrea’s sex, and mimicking her lover, she held them against her clit. Andrea screamed and bucked again, much to Miranda’s pleasure. Wrapping her leg over Andrea’s flexing thigh, Miranda moaned as she felt the wet squish of her sex spread against the heat of her leg. Rubbing slow circles over the brunette’s clit, Miranda rubbed herself to a second orgasm to accompany Andrea’s full body return to ecstasy.  
  
Holding tightly to each other, they eventually drifted off into a sated slumber.  
  
*** *** ***  
  
“Andrea?” Still wrapping her robe around her body, Miranda approached the living room.  
  
Smiling brightly, Andrea turned to her lover. “Over here.” They met closer to the bedroom, since Andrea had been awake longer. “Sorry, I wasn’t there when you woke up.” Andrea tucked the strand of hair that often slipped beyond the Captain’s control back to where it was supposed to be. Greeting her with a kiss, she wrapped herself around Miranda to enjoy the feel of their bodies pressed together once again.  
  
“What woke you?” Miranda murmured as she rested her head on Andrea’s shoulder and closed her eyes. “It’s too early. Alarm hasn’t even gone off.”  
  
Rubbing one hand over Miranda’s back and the other into her hair, Andrea loved how easily the older woman curled into her embrace. “Nature called and then I was wide awake.”  
  
Miranda groaned her displeasure and leaned back to tug Andrea toward the bedroom with her.  
  
Giggling, Andrea resisted. “Adorable.” She pulled Miranda closer to the energy bay and then demanded a cup of coffee. “I found the source of the shadows.”  
  
Blinking slowly in defiance, the silver haired woman clearly thought this could wait, although she accepted the cup of coffee. After several sips, she sighed and stretched her body to will it into wakefulness. “Explain.”  
  
Andrea returned to the wall she had been looking at when Miranda came looking for her. “We both have shadow memories of the bridge and your quarters. So, part of the time loop had to have taken place in both.” She looked at Miranda, but continued to edge closer to the wall. “You got this at the rec stop before what we have determined to be the time loop with the Phyrochez Incident.” She pointed at the poem on the wall. “I read it a little while ago. I think you should re-read it.” Andrea fought with herself to hold back her initial excitement, knowing that she needed to see if Miranda had a similar reaction on her own or not.  
  
Looking down into her coffee cup and contemplating another cup before reading, Miranda ultimately tossed the mug back and set it down. She crossed over to Andrea and stood shoulder to shoulder with her to re-read the poem on her wall.

  
  
_Only when the strongest loves the weak_  
Will you find the end you seek  
  
To undo what has been done  
You will have to overcome  
  
Only when you can admit  
Will all the pieces finally fit  
  


Pulling the frame off the wall, Miranda took it with her to the couch. Her mind quickly traversed through memories real and shadow until she was able to stretch them out into one timeline. Far from a perfect re-telling, she could still put all the major events in order. It all finally felt like it made sense in a concrete, linear way. “Andrea? Did you?”  
  
Her question ran out before it was complete, but Andrea’s beautiful face answered anyway. “Pretty unbelievable, isn’t it, ma’am.” She couldn’t help but tease a little bit.  
  
Looking over the words once more, Miranda traced her finger down the glass. “Surreal.” She nodded and set it on the coffee table in front of them. “So did they send us into a time loop test or did they yank us out of our own destruction?”  
  
Andrea swung her leg over Miranda’s imitating her provocative position from the previous evening. “You know it’s funny how we have repeated so many details of the shadow memories in different ways.” She undulated her hips to emphasize their current demonstration of this. “We fought against the manipulation in the loop and when we were returned here. Both times we came to the conclusion that perhaps we were meant to be.”  
  
Resting a possessive hand on Andrea’s hip, Miranda took a moment to gaze at her lover. With her other hand she reached up and tangled it in those long brown tresses. “Is this where I shut you up with a kiss again?” Their passions reignited from the embers barely left to cool, and soon each was exploring curves in order to revisit favorite spots.  
  
“It is 0700 hours, Captain. Your duty shift begins in 60 minutes.” The voice of the Interface washed over them like a bucket of cold water.  
  
They pulled apart. Each panting for their breath.  
  
“Oh my god.” Andrea practically wheezed. “Do you remember what the other one sounded like?”  
  
Biting her lip, Miranda nodded wordlessly. She wasn’t sure how Andrea would react to the fact that she was deliciously distracted by the open robe in front of her face. When Andrea shifted off her lap with a heavy sigh, she echoed the breathy sentiment. “At least we’re not stuck at 1424 hours.”  
  
Standing, Andrea let her robe fall open in the hope that she could lure the Captain. As the older woman took the bait, Andrea smirked. “I think I like the lowered bed from my memory better.” She couldn’t resist the tease, even though Miranda had quite pleasantly slipped her hands under Andrea’s robe to stroke her bare skin.  
  
Cupping each of Andrea’s breasts, Miranda leaned close to whisper in her ear. “As long as you don’t build a fort in the living room.” To punctuate her come back, she pinched Andrea’s nipples as she pulled away from her young lover.  
  
Squeaking and rubbing her palms against her nipples, Andrea followed Miranda into the bedroom. “That’s what I do when I panic!”  
  
Miranda looked over her bared shoulder and offered, “Well, Ensign, I could still shoot you.” Winking at her outraged lover, Miranda dropped her robe to the floor and stepped into the bathroom.  
  
Knowing resistance was useless, Andrea slipped from her own robe as she heard the shower water running.  
  
  
  
 _ **The End.**_

 

 

x


End file.
